


Sucker

by Queenie_004



Series: Happiness Begins [1]
Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College Covinsky, Don't copy to another site, F/M, Flirting, Fluff and Smut, Jealousy, Road Trips, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:40:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 49,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29412054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenie_004/pseuds/Queenie_004
Summary: A University Covinsky AU: It's the end of summer before their junior year at Brown University and Lara Jean agrees to drive across the country with Peter back to school. Ground rules for the trip include no romance or hooking up. Will they stick to them?
Relationships: Peter Kavinsky/Lara Jean Song-Covey
Series: Happiness Begins [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2160675
Comments: 332
Kudos: 254





	1. Oregon

**Author's Note:**

> Dear lovely readers,
> 
> I am still recovering from the final movie! I truly loved it and have spent most of the last 24-hours chatting about it. There's a lot to unpack and I'm really excited to be so energized and inspired again by this duo. 
> 
> This story was started in March 2019 when I fell in love with the song "Sucker" by the Jonas Brothers. When their album "Happiness Begins" came out that summer I listened to it incessantly the rest of the year.
> 
> I give you that date so when you see several things in this story as it unfolds also appear in some way in the AAF movie - I was just making shit up and somehow, it was the same as things in the actual script! I spent a lot of my time watching it thinking, _they're going to think I added this because of the movie._ Reader, I did not! It is crazy coincidence and I think, very cool.
> 
> When I was done with this story I did not want to let this version of Lara Jean and Peter go. I thought up new stories for them so I kept writing and listening to "Happiness Begins" and there are now multiple parts after this one that take you into their future. Right now they're in various states of progress but I am hoping that sharing this with you and hearing what you think will inspire me to wrap those pieces up so they can fill this series.
> 
> I truly love this universe so much that it's fair to say it's my favorite of all the ones I have created in this fandom. I trust you with my creations because you've always shown my stories such love and enthusiasm. Because of my attachment to this Covinsky, I'm slightly anxious putting them out in public so I just hope you love my babies as much as I do.
> 
> OK, enough keeping you from the story (if you even bothered to read this far!) Thank you for always reading, commenting, inboxing my Tumblr and being a really fun and kind fandom 🧡🧡
> 
> Love you always and forever,
> 
> Queenie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rules of the road trip are laid out and the adventure from Portland to Providence begins.

She runs into him at the Corner Café towards the end of summer. She’s just returned from backpacking with her sister around Europe and he tells her he’s home for a few weeks between the end of his internship and heading back to school. They laugh about the fact that they go to the same university across the country and never see each other there, yet both are barely back in town a day and see each other practically on arrival.

“How are you getting back to Providence?” Peter asks. They go to Brown University and have a few more weeks before their junior year begins.

“I’m flying although I haven’t booked it yet” she says as she takes a sip of her long dreamt about vanilla coke. “When do you leave?”

He shrugs, “I’m actually driving back so I don’t know when I’ll leave exactly.”

“Driving? By yourself? That’s a long trip! Why aren’t you flying?”

He pays for his milkshake and thanks the waitress who cheerfully remembers him from high school. “I’m moving off campus with some friends and my mom is giving a me a shitload of free furnishings. Gotta get them back there somehow.”

She nods and asks who he’s living with and where their apartment is. He tells her about his friends Tony and Tommy (“are you in a gang?” she jokes, “do they call you Petey?”) and she tells him about the suite she has with her girlfriends this year.

As they head out the door towards their cars Peter squints in the sunlight, “Hey, do you have a lot of stuff to move to your suite? ‘Cause you could join me on the road if you want. The Jeep can fit a lot in it.”

She’s put her sunglasses on but her eyebrows raise over the frames, “go on a road trip with you?”

He nods, “yeah, could be fun!”

She laughs, “I mean, if you were going to drive the entire 3,000 miles then sure, it might be fun for me but probably not so much for you!”

He looks around for her car to see how badly parked it may be, “still not a good driver Covey?”

“Still not one of my favorite things to do, no.”

“I bet on a wide open highway with flat roads and no other cars you could be quite the speed demon.” He grins at her and damn, she forgot what a killer smile he has. He wasn’t voted “Dreamiest Boy” in their senior superlatives for nothing.

“As tempting as that sounds Peter, I’m going to stick to the friendly skies.” They give each other a light hug and make promises to finally hang out together on campus which they very likely will not keep, then go their separate ways.

* * *

Two days later Lara Jean is laying on her bedroom floor when Kitty finds her. “What are you doing?” her younger sister asks.

“Oh, just freaking out. Don’t mind me. Move along.”

“About what?” Kitty comes into a room even more disastrous than usual. “About the tornado that blew through here?”

Throwing her arm over her eyes Lara Jean groans, “there’s so much stuff. How am I supposed to get it all back to school??”

Kitty makes a space to sit on the edge of the bed that is covered with piles of books and clothes and papers. “Why don’t you drive with that Peter guy?”

At dinner the night that she saw Peter she mentioned how he was driving back to school on his own and had invited her. To her surprise both her dad and sister thought that was the coolest thing and that she should totally go with him.

“I’m not going on a road trip alone with Peter Kavinsky”

“Why not?” Kitty sees a pile of something starting to slip off the bed and leans over to catch it, only to have a different pile fall. “It would make your packing go a lot faster and then we could spend the rest of your time here doing our annual terrible late summer movies fest instead of wading through this mess.”

“I can’t. It would be too weird.”

“Why?”

“UGH, Kitty!” she rolls over onto her stomach. “Because I had a huge crush on Peter in middle school and high school, but mostly middle school. Like, massive writing his name in hearts inside my journal crush.”

“So? That was a long time ago, do you still like him?”

“No” she shakes her head, “I don’t even know him. We don’t travel in the same circles at school. I think I saw him once outside of a party when we were freshmen and we waved across a field at one another during homecoming last year.”

“Then why should that stop you from going on the road with him?”

Lara Jean realizes this is a very good question because honestly, what could even happen? She has Charlie to go back to – sort of – and Peter being Peter likely has a girlfriend, or two, waiting for him back at Brown. But there’s some sort of persistent buzz in her head about it that she can’t pinpoint but thinks likely means she should not go off with him alone for a week or more.

“It’s not like he would even have room for my crap anyway. I’m sure he was just being nice. Peter has always been a nice guy.”

Kitty stands up and tries to kick her way out of Lara Jean’s room. “I think you’re being ridiculous. You could be done packing in half the time, we could be having fun before you have to leave, and a decent guy wants you to keep him company.”

Lara Jean sits up and pouts. “Don’t be sensible Kitty, you know I hate it.”

To counter it Kitty sticks out her tongue and sing songs, “ _you like a bo-oy! You like a bo-oy!_ Is that better and more immature-little-sister for you?” then flounces out with a squeal as Lara Jean throws a slipper towards her.

* * *

Peter is enjoying a late breakfast of three cereals in one of his mom’s mixing bowls when the doorbell rings. He glances down because he’s just out of the shower in a towel and a t-shirt but figures it is probably the mail carrier with the package his mom said she was expecting.

“Hi, woah, hey, Covey.” He did not expect to see Lara Jean standing on his porch and his hand goes to his hip to confirm the towel is tied tight. She eyes him up and down before she speaks.

“Hi, sorry, are you – did you just get up?” she glances at her watch.

He laughs, “hey, you try working 50-hour weeks for two months straight and see how eager you are to wake up before 10AM!”

“Fair enough. Is this a bad time? I can come back or – I didn’t have your number, we forgot to exchange numbers the other day, so I didn’t know how to reach you. But I did remember where you lived, weirdly since I don’t think I have been here since I was 8 or maybe 10? Do you remember? No, why would you remember that.”

He smiles because he forgot that Lara Jean Covey is a bit of a nervous babbler. It’s very charming and he’s curious why she’s here – and why she’s nervous, so he steps back and holds his arm out to usher her into the house. “Never a bad time for you Covey.”

Inside he picks his bowl up again and holds it out towards her, “can I interest you in some cereal? And before you say no, can I interest you in a Froot Loop, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Cheerios Power Bowl?”

Her nose wrinkles, “I know all those words, but I don’t know why you used them in the order that you just did.”

He laughs, “Where’s your sense of adventure Lara Jean?”

“Would accepting your offer of a ride back to Brown count as an adventure? That is, if the offer still stands?”

He swallows his mouthful of cereal and grins, “seriously? You want to come?”

She nods but looks unsure, “do you want me to come?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely!” he crows, “I was thinking this was going to be one boring ass trip but now…” and he doesn’t even think but grabs her and pulls her into a hug. She giggles against his chest – a warm soft breath through the cotton of his t-shirt and the thought flits across his mind _she feels good_.

Releasing her she steps away and takes a big breath, “Should we talk details now or… ?”

* * *

When Peter comes back downstairs, he’s dressed in shorts and a different t-shirt, but his curly hair is still damp and flopping down over his forehead. She’s surprised by how happy he seemed to be about her coming along. She’s excited too but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a few concerns to address.

“I think we need to set some ground rules” she says as they sit at the kitchen island with coffee.

“Ground rules for what?” Peter looks at her with confusion.

“For the trip. You know, so we’re on the same page.”

He still looks confused and when she digs in her purse and pulls out a pad and a pen he groans, “wow, you sure know how to suck the fun out of a situation.”

She ignores him, “it’s going to be a long time alone together for days and before we end up in petty fights about really stupid stuff, why don’t we just put out what our expectations are?”

“OK” Peter smirks, “my expectation is that there are no ground rules to a road trip.”

She rolls her eyes at him, “OK here’s one – that we split all gas costs 50/50 and we take turns paying for meals.”

He nods, “Oh, OK like money and stuff? Got it, yeah, that works for me.”

She writes it down. “Do you have one? A _real_ one.”

He looks up at the ceiling, “we can be spontaneous and stop and see fun stuff. I mean, we may never see some random Jesus-dressed-as-Elvis statue on top of a gas station in the middle of nowhere ever again. I’ll need a picture and I don’t want to miss it because we’re keeping to a timetable.”

She nods, “I agree.”

“You do?”

“I’m fun, Peter!”

“Even though you make contracts for road trips?” he teases.

Ignoring him she writes it down and adds another: “You can’t tease me about my driving.”

He nods, “No teasing. Got it. Are you receptive to driving tips?”

She taps the pen to her lip, “Maybe. If they are constructive and not sarcastic.”

“Write it. I have one – the driver controls the music”

She turns to him suspiciously, “What do you listen to?”

“You’ll find out when I’m driving” he says grinning widely.

“This one may sound dumb but I’m putting it in anyway” she says.

“Shoot.”

“You cannot ever again offer me anything that has multiple gross cereals in it and is termed _power bowl_ ”

Peter throws his head back laughing, “you _are_ fun, Covey! But I feel sorry you are missing out on my Kavinsky Classic Breakfast Cereal Power Bowl. I’m kind of the king of cereal combos. Like a mixologist for breakfast products.”

“The fact that you are proud of that is making me question my decision to go with you.”

He clutches his heart in fake pain and it makes her laugh. “So, we have food, money, music, driving, sightseeing…” she pauses as he bobs his head in agreement. “We should talk about sleeping arrangements.” He tries to keep the smile off his face because he is very interested where she’s headed with this. “I think we should share motel rooms to keep our expenses low. But sleep in separate beds. And nothing can happen.”

He leans in towards her, “what could happen?” pink flushes her cheeks and it only serves to encourage him.

“Noth…nothing could happen.”

“Oh, come on, I need some details just so, you know, I don’t violate the contract or anything” he’s gone into Flirt Mode, he can’t help himself she is really cute and she was his first kiss when they were middle schoolers and ever since he opened the door to her he’s had this weird, giddy feeling in his chest.

“Peter”

“Lara Jean”

“I kind of have a boyfriend, so…”

Peter stills. This is news to him although he isn’t friends with Lara Jean at school so why would he know? “You do? Who?”

“Charlie Cotter. He’s a senior.” She’s also not entirely sure he really _is_ her boyfriend at this exact moment in time as they are very off and on and the last time she talked to him things still seemed to be stuck in off mode.

Peter sits back, “Oh, cool. No worries, if you snore I’ll just get out of my twin bed from the 1950s and come over and shake you out of it.”

She nods and answers too fast, “good, that’s settled. Great.” She pushes down the tiny thread of disappointment that seeped into her over the ease of his response to her possibly being attached.

“Are you going to write it?” Peter asks pointing at her pad, “No Sex. All caps so we don’t forget.”

She jolts and starts to write as he gets up off the stool to put their mugs in the sink. “Anything else?” she asks as she taps her pen on the counter.

“Yeah, when do we leave?”

* * *

“Peter Kavinsky.”

“Yes.”

“You and Peter Kavinsky. On a road trip. Alone for weeks in a car and in motels and in seedy watering holes, sharing beds and watching romantic sunsets?”

Her best friend Chris is helping her finish packing and Lara Jean laughs, “seedy watering holes and sunsets? Have you been reading my romance novels?”

“I know you think my memory is shit from all the…” Chris mimics lighting a bong, “but I have very distinct memories of _Mrs. Peter Kavinsky_ scrawled all over your journal when we were 12.”

“Yes, nearly a decade ago. I think I am well over my tween urge to marry him.” She tosses Chris more pajamas to fold.

“Does my cousin know?”

“Gen?” Lara Jean gives her a look, “why on earth would she care? They aren’t dating anymore. Oh god, _are_ they still dating??” Gen had been her BFF growing up and then somewhere around the time that they ended up in a Spin the Bottle game with Peter in the spinning zone, Lara Jean had gotten to kiss him, and Gen had soon after become her frenemy then just full on enemy and Girlfriend of Peter for all of high school.

“God no. Lucky him. They did date at least for the first part of college, I think. But now she’s with Ashton, _ooooh Ashton!_ ” Chris makes a gagging noise. “He’s some football star at UCLA and he’s literally the dumbest human I have ever met in my entire life, but Gen is convinced he’s going to be drafted to the NFL and she will be a rich football wife so what-effing-ever.”

“She still sounds delightful” Lara Jean deadpans causing Chris to snort. “And we’re not sharing beds. We’ll share rooms but two beds. It’s just a ride.”

“But it could be a _riiiiide_ ” Chris grins her Cheshire Cat grin and thrusts her hips slowly.

“Ohmigod you are the worst” Lara Jean squeals and gives her a light shove. “Finish packing my sleepwear and shut up!” She doesn’t tell her that what popped into her head in that moment was the memory of the towel pulled tightly around his hips and the slight shiver it gives her when she thinks about seeing that again on their trip.

* * *

The night before they depart Peter comes over to her house so they can pack his Jeep with her luggage. Her dad is grilling and invites him to stay for dinner which he accepts and then he proceeds to charm everyone within an inch of their lives.

“So, is Peter single?” her dad’s girlfriend Trina asks as they get drinks from the kitchen.

“Um, I don’t know” she says, “but I’m not – really – because of Charlie.”

Kitty who slipped in behind them groans, “fuck Charlie. You should totally hook up with Peter on this trip.”

Lara Jean looks at her sister with annoyance, “There is not going to be any hooking up. We talked about it. We have a contract.”

“A what?” both women look at her at once.

“We laid out our travel ground rules to avoid any drama or fighting. And keeping it platonic was one of them. And I _have a boyfriend_.” She re-emphasizes the last part.

“Charlie is an asshole and you told me he isn’t even talking to you right now which puts him firmly in ex-boyfriend territory” Kitty scoffs.

“He’s not?” Trina looks concerned, “what happened?”

Lara Jean looks between them, “can we stop with the interrogations please?”

But her sister plows right on as she always does, “I mean it Lara Jean, delete Charlie out of your life and see what happens on this trip. Peter is awesome. He’s nice and funny and hot, ohmigod he’s _so hot_ , right?” she looks to Trina who nods a bit too vigorously for Lara Jean’s taste, “and it’s a road trip across America! Just have fun – hopefully wild sexy fun that involves a lot of making out that I want to hear all the details of because he sure looks like a boy who knows how to kiss a girl. Right Trina?”

The older woman blushes and clears her throat, “I don’t know if I need to hear about that, but sure, tell your sister all”

“You totally want to hear!” Kitty teases, “Everyone here would kiss Peter Kavinsky right now if given the opportunity and that includes dad” she nods her head out to where their father and Peter are standing with beers in hand and mirrored postures laughing loudly.

Lara Jean rolls her eyes, “maybe I should leave Peter here with his harem and take his car back to school myself.”

“OK!” Kitty chirps and bounds out the door and right up to Peter who gives her a dazzling grin and a high five like they are besties already.

“He is a very nice-looking boy” Trina murmurs, “and so tall. It’s hard to resist a tall, handsome man! I mean, what do you think drew me to your dad?” She winks and heads out with pitchers of water and iced tea and Lara Jean watches Peter interacting with everyone like he’s been in their family for years and realizes she’s never seen them act this way the few times they’ve been around Charlie.

* * *

Peter arrives promptly at 9AM the next morning and he’s got hot coffees and a bag of fresh baked breakfast pastries from the café for them and a box of donuts for his fan club which Kitty and her dad crow about as if they’ve never had donuts before. Trina arrives when they are saying their goodbyes and giggles like a teenager when Peter gives her a big bear hug and teases her about how he got the jelly filled ones especially for her.

After hugs and kisses with her family they buckle up and Peter starts the car.

“Ready, Covey?”

“Let’s do this” she says and tilts her coffee cup to his in a toast.

* * *

“Your sister is pretty hilarious” he says as they chat en route to the highway to start their journey.

“That’s one word for her” Lara Jean says as she nibbles on a croissant.

“Is she dating anyone?”

Lara Jean swings her head towards him, “Why are you asking me that?”

He laughs, “Yeah Covey, I’m in the market for a jailbait girlfriend who lives across the country, c’mon!” He reaches over and steals a piece of her croissant and she makes a sound of protest, “I was asking because I think she’d be good for my brother.”

They talk about whether Kitty would be into someone like Owen Kavinsky who is a little on the quiet side and shy around girls. Peter thinks Kitty could bring out another side of him and get him to have some fun before high school is over. Lara Jean thinks that her sister would eat the poor boy alive.

When they near the on ramp to the highway he says, “I feel like we should do something to mark this moment.”

“Like what? We already had a toast”

Peter reaches across the console, “give me your hand” before she can respond he reaches to her lap and grabs her hand in his and rests them together on the console. “You be Thelma, I’ll be Louise.”

She starts laughing, “are you going to drive us off the ramp and into an abyss?”

He grins at her and she finds herself squeezing his hand in excitement as he accelerates them onto the highway.


	2. Oregon/Idaho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While getting to know each other better Lara Jean learns how Peter operates his love life, Peter discovers Lara Jean is unaware of her hotness factor and they both find out they are good at pretending to be a couple.

Their first night is on the Oregon/Idaho border and they stop to eat before finding a place to stay. After they order Lara Jean looks at her phone and all the texts from her family are about Peter.

“Oh good lord” she groans, “What magic spell did you cast on everyone last night Kavinsky? They are still swooning over you!”

“What did they say?”

She starts reading them out loud, “from my dad, _how was driving honey? Peter was saying last night that he doesn’t mind doing most of it. He’s a good guy that Peter, tell him I said Hi!_ It’s good he likes you so much since I think Trina would have happily switched places with me, she says, _thank Peter for the donuts they were delicious, and I only took one jelly one! What kind did he get you?_ There’s a whole bunch of smiley face and heart eye emojis by the way. Your new BFF Kitty says, _I hope you are being nice to Peter and not making up more dumb rules or are at least breaking some, starting with the one where you don’t…_ ” she stops reading and snaps her eyes up to meet his.

“You don’t what?” he asks his brows furrowed.

She just shakes her head, “just Kitty being Kitty, you know, _hilarious_.”

He’s looking at her and she reaches for her water but he moves too quickly and grabs her hand, turning her phone towards him and starting to read, _“…starting with the one where you don’t bone the hell out of him every night between here and Providence_ Woah!” he exclaims as she pulls her hand away and he sits back in the booth with a smirk on his face.

“Don’t look so smug” she scolds but there’s no chance of that happening.

“I did not think she had a mouth like that – you may be right that she’d just terrify my brother.” The waitress arrives with their food and Lara Jean shoves her phone into her bag. “It could be fun, you know – if we didn’t have other people to think about.”

She glances at him, “what could be fun?”

“Apparently kids today call it _boning the hell out of each other_ ” he’s still smirking at her and she feels hot.

“We’re not” she says.

“I know we’re not. I’m just saying, it’s too bad because I think we have good chemistry.”

“And good chemistry means good sex?”

“Good chemistry means _great_ sex” he says before biting into his burger. “But you’ve got Charlie and I have Eloise, so…”

She has no idea who he is talking about, “You have a girlfriend?”

“No” he just keeps eating and she resists the urge to kick him under the table.

“Who is Eloise then?”

“She is a girl who I wanted to hook up with last semester, but she was with someone and now she’s not.”

“So she’s just someone you’re going to sleep with when we get back to campus?” He just holds crossed fingers up and she swings her foot just a bit harder and grazes his shin and he makes a noise, “Sorry” she deadpans and takes a long drink of her soda. “Is that your thing? Just hooking up with girls?”

He squints, “I don’t know that it’s my _thing_. It’s something that I am in favor of doing.”

“You’re a fuckboy.”

Peter chokes on his food and takes some water. “Hell no, you did not just call me that.”

“Well,” she shrugs her shoulders, “it kind of sounds like you are.”

“Well, I’m not. I know the guys you’re talking about and they treat women like shit. I don’t do that. I don’t pull head games on them and screw them and disappear. You can have casual sex and not be a dick to the people you have it with.”

“Would they agree with that?” She doesn’t know what is itching at her about this – that he does it, or that he’s preoccupied with some girl while he’s on a trip with her, and if it’s the latter then she needs to check herself because she absolutely cannot develop feelings – again – for Peter Kavinsky.

“Do you want names so you can take a survey?”

“Ohmigod do you keep a list of them? That’s gross Peter, that is total fuckboy behavior.”

“Chill Covey. I know their names because I am still friendly with them. I’m friends with some of them. Because I am not _that guy_.”

* * *

Later that night when they turn out the light and get comfortable in their separate beds she says goodnight and he says it back and there is a tense silence for a few minutes and he realizes he has more to say to her about their dinner conversation.

“You know I dated Gen for a long time.”

“I know.”

“Probably too long. We shouldn’t have lasted past sophomore year. Junior year was the worst and senior year it just felt like we were obligated to stay together since we’d made it that far.”

“I thought you dated after you got to college too.”

“Yeah, that was just habit. We were both scared of having new lives in completely different places and we clung to each other for I don’t know, security I guess.”

“Makes sense” she mumbles.

“Did you know she used to cheat on me?”

There is a long pause before she says anything, “I heard rumors.”

“They were true. And it fucking sucked because I did love her even though it was not a very healthy love and she was a pretty shitty person most of the time. But, uh, after we broke up, I realized I didn’t know how to have a relationship and that I was too scared to have one. Too scared to get hurt like that again.”

He can hear her shift and he turns to look and in the darkness he can tell that she’s rolled to her side and is watching him. “I’m sorry Peter, that’s so sad. And unfair. You always seemed like you were a really devoted boyfriend.”

He rolls onto his side to face her, “I was a damn good boyfriend but after Gen I didn’t know how to be one anymore, so it felt safer to keep things casual and be clear up front that I wasn’t looking for anything serious. And that’s worked out well, I guess.”

They are quiet and he thinks maybe she’s dozed off to sleep after their long day but finally she says softly, “you should think about being someone’s boyfriend again. I bet you are probably still great at it because you know how to make people feel special when they are with you. Stop letting Gen and her bullshit do any more damage to your big heart.”

He has an urge to go over to her bed and hug her, but he also suspects if he did that, he may not want to leave her bed. “Thanks, Covey. That’s a really nice thing to say.”

“You’re welcome.” She rolls back away from him and he closes his eyes. “Peter?”

“Hmmm?”

“Let’s tell each other our favorite part of the day before we go to sleep.”

“I like it! You go first.”

“My favorite part of the day…” she starts, “was when we got on the highway at home. When you raced up it, that was kind of exhilarating. It did feel like Thelma and Louise minus the crime spree and getting to sleep with Brad Pitt at his peak hotness.”

He chuckles, “Even I would do Brad Pitt in that movie, man — those abs!”

She giggles, “OK now you. What was your favorite part of the day?

He doesn’t hesitate in his answer, “right now is my favorite part of the day. Talking with you.”

* * *

She changes in the bathroom and comes out to find Peter sprawled on his back on the bed, head practically hanging off the end as he stares at his phone.

“Can I get your keys?” she asks, “I need something in the Jeep.”

“Will you grab my charger while you’re out there, I’m dying” he wags his phone and she disappears outside. When she returns she drops the cord on his chest and he grunts a thanks but his eye catches on her and he lifts his head, “What’s up?”

She goes to the other side of her bed and unrolls a mat, “sitting in the car all day is making me sore. I’m going to start doing yoga, stretch out a bit.”

He takes in her outfit – she’s wearing the tiny, stretchy booty shorts that the cheerleaders in high school wore and one of those fitted tank tops with all the criss-crossing straps in the back. “Woah, hey I didn’t know I was sharing a room with Hot Yoga Girl.”

She gives him a funny look, “It’s not hot yoga Peter, we’d have to crank up the heat for that and it’s still 80 degrees outside.”

He chuckles, “you Lara Jean – _you’re_ the Hot Yoga Girl” he punctuates each word with his hand to spell it out for her and she blushes.

“Play your game or whatever you were doing” and then she does a downward dog. Peter turns back to his phone but now he’s distracted because every time she goes down he can’t help but notice her ass in those sexy shorts. They are both quiet as he tries to pay attention to his phone and she moves through her poses.

“You think I’m hot?” she asks, his words rotating around her mind and making it hard to concentrate on her breathing. Peter rolls off his bed and flops down on hers.

“You’re hot _and_ cute. Deadly combo” he’s on his stomach resting his chin on the back of his hands and grins at her and she blushes again.

“No one ever thinks I’m hot, cute – OK, but not hot” she goes onto her hands and knees and does a cat/cow stretch.

He scoffs, “lots of guys think you’re hot.”

“Like who?” she challenges, “name one guy!”

“I can name at _least_ five” whatever she is doing right now is turning him on – the way she’s arching her back up and down and thrusting her chest out, her ass up – it’s mesmerizing but she stops and snaps her head to face him.

“Five? Don’t be a jerk Kavinsky.”

“How am I being a jerk? I’m complimenting you!”

“If you’re not teasing me then who are they?”

He holds a hand up and rattles off names, “Carlos Myers, Gabe Rivera, Greg Porter, Tim Arnolds, Matt Kaplan.”

She sits back on her heels, “they are all from Adler.”

“Duh, yeah” he says, “I don’t hang with you at Brown so how would I know who there thinks you’re a hottie? But I guarantee you there are five more guys on campus whose heads you turn, likely more.” He’s still holding his hand up and waving his fingers at her for the five boys. “You don’t believe me?” he says, “because I can prove it to you.”

She laughs, “how are you going to do that?”

He pushes himself up and opens his phone. He pats the spot next to him on her bed and when she comes over and sits, he holds a finger to his lips for quiet and taps. When Gabe answers they holler greetings and he tells him to hold on as he adds Greg to the call. Lara Jean leans back on her hands out of their view and watches.

“So, you guys remember Lara Jean Covey, right?”

One whistles the other hollers, _oh hell yeah!_

“Did you think she was hot?” Peter looks over at her and she shakes her head like she can’t believe he’s doing this.

_She was so fine_

_SO fine!_

“What do you remember about her?” he prompts.

_Those short skirts_

_Oh shit, those skirts and the knee highs!_

Peter looks over at her and smirks and she rolls her eyes at him although she’s secretly intrigued by this new info.

_She’d wear those chokers too, like all tight around her neck_

_Fuck I forgot about that, that was hot_

“It wasn’t just her clothes though, right?”

_She just seemed like she was all prim and proper but if you heated her up right she’d be wild_

_Totally! Aw shit, to go back in time for that chance…Right? Why are you asking about her anyway?_

Peter shrugs, “I’m just driving back to Brown with her and she didn’t believe me when I said lots of guys thought she was hot.”

_DUDE! Are you serious??_

_Are you hitting that? PLEASE tell us you are hitting that fine piece of a…_

Peter flips the screen so they can see her and says loudly, “Guys, say hi to Lara Jean” and she raises her hand and waves,

“Hi boys.”

There is a momentary silence and Peter stifles a laugh as his friends recover and greet her and to her credit, she is friendly and promises to find them on Instagram and he turns the camera back. “Alright creeps, you’ve bugged her enough. Say bye bye” she leans over and they both wave and Peter ends the call before they can ask him anything else.

“Well,” she dangles her feet off the side of the bed, “that was informative.”

He chuckles, “for the record, I was not trying to reduce you to a sexual object or anything” she looks at him, “because that is totally not cool and objectifying women is not my thing.” She’s got that expression on her face that he’s coming to recognize as _Lara Jean Good Naturedly Tolerating Peter’s Nonsense_ , “I was just providing evidence to prove my point.”

“Point taken” she rests her chin on her shoulder and eyes him, “Was there anyone else?” she asks, “in high school, that thought that…about me?” She knows she is fishing and she should definitely reel it back in but she had such a crush on him back then that finding out that there may have even been a minute he was attracted to her would be rewarding.

But he’s on to her and leans over flirtatiously, “If I had been a single guy then Covey…there would have been five very jealous guys at Adler High.” He likes how she blinks slowly and her cheeks turn pink, “and right this minute there are two jealous guys.”

* * *

Lara Jean is waiting at the bar for their drinks while Peter racks up balls for a game of pool. There’s a guy standing by her and she is in Ignoring Mode because she can tell he wants her attention.

The longer the bartender takes, the more this guy moves into her personal space. “Hey” he says finally, “what’s your name?”

She checks to see where Peter is but he’s studying the pool table, “Lila” she says, the fake name she always gives to creeps at parties. It is close enough to her real name that she can remember she gave it, and if they hear her called by her name it can sound the same.

“Lila. That’s pretty. You’re real pretty.” He is a bulky guy and a lot older than her. “Let me buy you a drink Lila.”

She shakes her head, “no thank you!” she says brightly, “I already have an order in.” She knows to keep her voice light and her attitude friendly because you never know how a man hitting on you will react when you say no.

“Well then, you’ll have two drinks.” He’s got a trucker hat on and the brim is shading his face but she can still see his leering grin and she’s about to give up on the bartender when she hears Peter.

“Hey babe, you still waiting?” He’s stepped right up next to her and gives a casual “what’s up?” to the guy.

She nods, “yeah, it’s taking a while.”

“Who’s this?” the guy asks, his tone has an edge to it now.

“This is, uh…” she doesn’t know if Peter gives a fake name in bars or not, and then realizes that’s ridiculous because men don’t have to do the kind of crap that women have to do all the time.

“I’m Peter.” He reaches his hand out to shake and the guy eyes him up and down.

“You her date or something?”

She feels Peter’s arm snake around her waist and pull her against him, “I’m her husband.”

Lara Jean stifles a surprised cough because what in the hell is he doing? The creep has the same reaction.

“Y’all are married? What are ya?” he looks at Lara Jean, “17?”

She looks up at Peter because she is not sure how they get out of this. “We’re 21. Did you think she was 17? Because that would mean you were hitting on someone you thought was underage.” Peter is trying to play it cool but he doesn’t like that the dude still hasn’t stepped back from her and it’s making him edgy.

The guy glances down at her hand, “where’s your ring?”

“We just eloped” she blurts out, “we didn’t stop to get rings, we just wanted to get married.”

“Yeah,” Peter nods, “we don’t want our parents to know so we’re skipping the rings for now.”

The bartender finally calls their drinks and Peter steps between her and the guy to reach the bar, forcing the creep to finally back away. He hands Lara Jean her beer and takes her hand in his. “We’ve got a game to play” he nods his chin at the guy, “you have a good night.”

* * *

They play two games and Peter keeps his eye on the guy who is sitting at the bar glancing over at them from time to time. When they finish and Lara Jean has beat him for the second time, he takes her hand and pulls her towards him. She giggles as she hits his chest and looks up at him.

“So, that dude is still watching you” Peter says as he looks down at her, “and I think we need to sell this newlywed game.” She nods, “Let’s pretend we’re super in love, OK?”

Without missing a beat she slides her arms up around his neck and smiles, “Yes, dear.”

He laughs and wraps his arms around her waist and lifts her in a hug and she squeals as he buries his face in her neck. She feels warm and inviting and he likes the feel of her hands on him, the way she flexes her fingertips into his back. Moving his face to her ear he whispers, “can I kiss you?” and she pulls back and grins again, “we _are_ married, and married people _do_ kiss.”

It’s their second ever kiss and a bit more intense than their middle school spin the bottle one. Her lips are soft and taste like beer and when they part, he forgets to move his head away because he’d like it to be a little longer. “Hi, Mrs. Kavinsky” he murmurs and she giggles and slides down off him.

“By the way, that’s Lila Kavinsky,” he looks confused, “women have to give guys in bars fake names and that’s mine.”

Peter furrows his brow, “that’s fucked up.”

“Oh,” she sighs, “you have no idea the stupid things we have to do to deal with men. Come on hubby, let’s get another beer and maybe some nachos.”

* * *

As the night goes on they drink a bit more and really get into their story, telling people they are newlyweds keeping it secret from their parents and scoring complimentary nachos from the bartender in celebration of their nuptials. They introduce themselves as Lila and Pete and she sits on his lap as he rubs her back and she drops her head to lightly kiss him from time to time and he starts to part his lips when he kisses her back and even in the loud bar he can hear her little sigh when he does it and he likes making her sigh like that.

The creep returns and by now he’s drunk and wants to congratulate them. He treats them to a round of celebratory shots and slurs about how he’s going to play a song for their wedding day on the jukebox then he wanders off in search of quarters and they never see him again. The crowd at the bar gets rowdier the later it gets and through their buzz they understand that they are out of their element and should get back to their room. They leave to congratulatory back slaps from strangers and many catcalls about it being their wedding night.

Their motel isn’t a far walk – or drunken stumble in their case, and when they get there Lara Jean is giggling and he’s trying to shush her but he’s having trouble not laughing too because they can’t stop recounting their ridiculous marriage story. When he unlocks the door, she doesn’t move but stands there scrunching her nose at him.

“What’s that look for?” he taps her nose and mimics her expression.

“Aren’t you going to carry me over the threshold? We are married now you know, that’s the tradition.”

He chuckles, “you’re right, that is the tradition.” He bends down and swoops her up and she shrieks and throws her arms around his shoulders as he carries her into the room. Once inside he turns and instructs her to push the door closed but he doesn’t put her down. “You know another tradition is that newlyweds have sex on their wedding night.”

She raises the corner of her mouth in a half smirk, “this is a marriage of convenience, not love.” And he exaggerates a frown as she slides a hand down to the collar of his shirt and runs her fingers over it and each time she touches his skin he gets a nice little shiver. “Are you going to tell me why you said we were married instead of just a friend or a boyfriend. Or my brother?”

He grins, “Your adopted brother?” He’s still holding her and she’s still ghosting her fingers against him and he’s thinking about the kisses at the bar and how he’d like to hear that sexy sigh of hers some more. “Your body language was so clear even from across the room and he was ignoring your signs and it pissed me off. I wanted to shock him and let him know you were off limits and he was way the fuck out of bounds.” When she smiles he adds, “it’s shitty I even had to do that. He should just respect your no and get lost.”

“Men are creeps” she says with a little pouty face.

“We _suck_ ” Peter replies with a grin.

She rests her hand on his face and moves to kiss him on the cheek, “Maybe not you so much, you’re a pretty good guy.”

“I try” he whispers. Then he walks over to her bed and puts her down on it he steps back and points to his own bed, “I’ll be over there Mrs. Kavinsky, should you need anything else from me tonight. Anything at all.”

* * *

“What was your favorite part of the day?” Lara Jean almost falls asleep without asking, the beer and shots of whisky getting her off her game.

“Marrying you Lila, obviously” Peter replies, his voice sleepy. “What was yours?”

She laughs lightly, “Beating your ass at pool” he groans in response, “twice!”

“There’s gonna be a rematch Covey, so don’t get too full of yourself. Now go to sleep, because driving hungover is going to be a bitch tomorrow.”

“Good night, babe” she whispers before she drifts off.

* * *

He’s dozing while she drives and when he comes to, she is singing and tapping the steering wheel to the beat. He watches for a minute without her noticing. She looks so cool in her sunglasses and her hair, shorter than it was in high school, whips around her face from the open window. She seems to be into the music enough to not be fretting about driving and he enjoys seeing her free from her usual driving neuroses.

The song ends and she reaches for her phone and restarts it and he sits up, “uh hello, what are you doing?”

She glances at him, “I am playing my music because I am the driver and the rule is the driver picks the playlist.”

He nods, “uh, yeah I know that but we just heard this, what is it anyway?”

She starts singing lyrics at him and he holds his palms up and shrugs.

_I’m a sucker for you  
any road that you take  
you know that you’ll find me_

“That’s not an answer, Covey.” He can’t tell for sure because she has sunglasses on but he’s positive she rolls her eyes at him and then she holds her phone so he can see the screen.

“ _Jonas Brothers_?” he gasps and she grins at him.

“Don’t start, Peter.”

“Start what?”

“Start any pompous White Guy with Pretentious Opinions About What is _Good…_ ” she does finger quotes, “…music, I don’t want to hear it. I love pop music and Boy Bands so just keep your music mansplaining to yourself please and let me enjoy this.”

He makes exaggerated noises like he’s highly offended and holds his hand out to start counting off his fingers, “first of all, my music opinions are not pretentious they are _valid_ , second of all, I like pop music just fine and am the proud owner of _four_ volumes of ‘Now That’s What I Call Music’, third, the Jonas Brothers are totally _not_ a Boy Band, Covey, they are brothers who play guitars and there’s only three of them because fourth of all,” he wags his four fingers at her, “everyone knows that a proper Boy Band has at _least_ four members, so maybe you should be the one keeping your snooty opinions about _good…_ ” he mimics her finger quoting, “…music to herself!”

She bursts out laughing but resumes singing.  
  
_I’m a sucker for all the subliminal things no one knows about you  
and you’re making the typical me break my typical rules  
it’s true – I’m a sucker for you_

When the song ends Peter grabs her phone, “hey!” she reaches for it but he keeps it from her, “Don’t mess with my playlist Kavinsky!”

He scrolls until he finds what he’s looking for and holds his open palm up to her, “and fifth, everyone knows that this is the ultimate Boy Band and _best_ Boy Band song,” he taps her screen and gives her a huge goofy grin as the song starts blaring through the Jeep.

_You’re insecure  
don’t know what for  
you’re turning heads when you walk through the do-o-or_

Lara Jean starts laughing, “You? You like One Direction? I did _not_ see that coming!”

He’s singing and urging her to join him and she does and they sing the whole song together loudly and barely in tune and then she is laughing so hard he suggests she pull over so they can catch their breath and get some lunch.

As they walk through the parking lot he throws his arm over her shoulder and she leans into him, _baby, you light up my world like nobody else_ , he sings softly to the top of her head.

“You’re ridiculous” she giggles but she doesn’t shrug his arm off.

* * *

“My favorite part of the day was definitely hearing your passionate campaign for One Direction” she says as she snuggles into her bed.

“Mine was watching you drive.”

“Why on earth would that be your favorite thing?” she sounds incredulous.

“Did you notice how confident you were? No panics, no trying to get me to take over, you were enjoying yourself. I think you like driving now.”

“I don’t like driving” she says emphatically. 

“I think you do and you’re just not going to admit it because you’re stubborn. But that’s cool, it’s enough that I know it, I don’t need to hear you say it.”

“You are so wrong”

“I’m so right, but I don’t need to hear you say that either, ‘cause like, I know” he’s trying not to laugh and he’s pretty sure he can hear her doing the same.

Instead he feels a pillow land on him, “Oof!” he gasps, “you’re not getting this back Covey, so enjoy your one pillow sleep!”

“I just threw it so I can smother you with it when you’re sleeping” she shoots back.

“Oooooh” he moans, “someone likes to play rough. I like it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are the best Valentines a fanfictress could ever ask for! THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for your reception to this story and all your lovely comments. I'm already very emotional this weekend from AAF and reading your feedback has made me even more weepy! I'm thrilled you are here for the ride and so excited to keep sharing it with you🧡🧡


	3. Utah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lara Jean and Peter have a confrontation about their romantic entanglements and grow closer during a desert adventure, while Eloise and Charlie start creating drama from afar.

They are debating the best places to get various foods in Providence and Lara Jean is incredulous that Peter does not recognize that her vote for best pizza is a no brainer.

“The key is they blend cheeses – it’s not just mozzarella but there’s cheddar in there too and it gives it a sharper taste.”

Peter scoffs, “cheddar on pizza? That’s bullshit Covey!”

“I’m telling you, Sergio’s. Try it and then come apologize to me for having this conversation and I’ll consider forgetting how badly you just embarrassed yourself with your inferior pizza knowledge.”

He’s about to throw down the gauntlet on breakfast places when his phone buzzes multiple times. “Shit, I was supposed to text my mom this morning before we took off and I totally forgot” he reaches for his phone in the cup holder and hands it to her. “Can you reply and tell her I’ll check in when we stop? And tell her you are texting for me because I am driving so she doesn’t immediately reply _I hope you’re not driving._ ”

Lara Jean takes the phone and swipes it open to his messages. “Oh.” She says, “Um. It’s not your mom.”

Peter glances over at her, “who is it?”

Lara Jean wants to un-see the series of messages but it’s too late for that.

“Who is it?” he asks again when he sees her brow is furrowed and she looks away from the phone and out the passenger window before she responds.

“The PG version is that Eloise is ready and waiting for you.”

“What??” Peter chokes and grasps for his phone but she just puts it back in the cup holder. “That’s…that’s awkward.”

She feels a heat flush through her and she doesn’t like it. It makes her feel anxious and humiliated and she should not be feeling either of these things – he’s just a guy she’s sharing a ride with. They have rules and she’s the one who set them. She has a boyfriend – or at least hopes she’ll have him again once they get back to school. So the fact that Peter has been texting his hook-up girl while they’ve been together this whole time shouldn’t bother her. Except it does.

“I didn’t know you were setting this all up now,” she doesn’t like that tone in her voice either, the one that sounds like she’s trying to not let her head spin off in a jealous tantrum. “Are you sending pictures too?” _Not your business Lara Jean, not your business what he does and who he does it with_ flutters through her head along with the freshly viewed image of Eloise Mitchell’s breasts poured into a lacy bra.

Peter wants to stop the car to check the messages – and not because he’s hot to see what Eloise said, but because he’d like to know what he’s dealing with when he responds to Lara Jean. But there’s no way to explain that without looking like he’s ignoring her feelings and just wants to see the messages.

“It’s not serious” is what he says, “Just letting off some steam.”

“Clearly” she says under her breath.

“Covey, hey – I’m not sure why you’re mad. I told you about her, I told you why I’m not boyfriend material.”

“It’s weird though,” she says a little too loudly, “because I know it’s only been a couple of days but from what I can tell you are totally boyfriend material. You are charming and attentive and sweet. You’re thoughtful and ask questions and are a really good listener and like to take care of people and make sure they’re happy.”

Peter blows out a breath, “why thank you.”

“So just, I mean I know this is how you operate with women, but it feels kind of shitty that you are doing this with her when the other night you were kissing me. That’s all, just…do what you need to do with her Peter, it’s fine we’re not anything to each other, but that stuff at the bar can’t happen again because then it really does make you look exactly like the kind of fuckboy you claim not to be.”

He’s got emotional whiplash from the shower of compliments followed by her tearing him a new one. He’s quiet for a few minutes to try and get his words in order so he doesn’t make things any worse.

“I texted her before we left home and this is the first time she’s replied. I was not playing some game with you while I was trying to get off with her at the same time. You can look at the timestamps on the messages if you don’t believe me.”

She just shakes her head, “I said it’s fine.”

“It’s clearly not fine and it’s vital to me that you know the timeline. I had no idea when she was going to reply or if she would or that she’d even still be interested.” When she doesn’t respond he keeps talking, “and I’m sorry if I violated any trust the other night at the bar – kissing you and what I said when we got back to the room. It was honestly so much fun and being with you like that felt good, it felt natural. And I think you felt that too and that’s the real reason why you’re mad right now.”

She whips her head around to look at him, “I have a boyfriend. Nothing else is going to happen between you and I.”

He’s trying to keep his cool but she’s pushing real hard on his buttons and he should not say what he’s about to but of course it comes out anyway, “about this boyfriend, why isn’t he texting you? Why aren’t you sending him sexy selfies? Kitty said you guys weren’t even on speaking terms right now.”

“Why the hell are you talking to my sister about my love life?” she gasps.

“I’m not, she volunteered the information the night before we left, and I quote, _Charlie is a dick who treats my sister like shit, so you should make sure she forgets all about him by the time you get back to campus._ ”

“I’m going to kill her” Lara Jean grumbles.

“She’s looking out for you and so am I because we are _not_ nothing to each other – we’re friends now whether you like it or not. So, what does he do? Why does she think that?”

“Nothing Peter, it’s not your business.”

“I’ve got nothing but time Lara Jean – literally” he gestures to the expanse of road in front of them. When she doesn’t answer he presses a little more, “does he cheat on you?”

She’s silent and then eventually sighs, “I don’t know.”

“The only answer to that question is yes or no. That’s it. Either you know for sure he did or you completely trust that he didn’t. _I don’t know_ means you do know, you know deep in your gut that he’s done it and you can’t let yourself admit it because to acknowledge that is to experience all the pain and humiliation and reckoning that comes with being cheated on. I know what the fuck I’m talking about Covey.”

“You don’t even know him” she says quietly, “you don’t know our story.”

“Tell me then, I will listen to every word you say and I will keep my big mouth shut until you ask my opinion.”

She makes a strangled laugh, “yeah, like you’ve been doing?”

“Starting right _now_ ” he grins at her and she actually gives him a half smile. “I want to help you because you are an incredible woman and I think you deserve a lot better than what this guy gives you.”

“So, starting when, again with keeping your mouth shut?” she is trying not to grin at him and he sticks his tongue out and bites down on it and finally she smiles.

**

Almost 90 minutes later she’s spilled the whole saga – meeting Charlie the second semester of her freshman year and how he swept her off her feet. She talks up his good qualities – that he’s smart and he likes to surprise her and be romantic and she admits the bad stuff too – how he fights dirty and gives her the silent treatment to punish her and that her friends sing “Bad Romance” under their breath when they’re on again because their whole relationship is so dramatic all the time.

Then she takes a deep breath and asks Peter for his verdict.

“What the hell are you doing with this guy? Yeah, I heard all the nice things you said but you know what? That all took place in the beginning, when he was wooing you and it’s all bliss and sex haze and everything about this new person in your life is amazing and you can’t believe you are so lucky. But that wears off and when it did for you guys, he started being a grade A asshole and whenever you try to call him on his shitty treatment of you, he reverts to guilting you over the nice stuff he did at the start. It’s manipulative and severely fucked up and as your friend, I’d like to punch him in the damn face.”

She feels her usual momentary urge to defend Charlie but she stops herself. How Peter has laid it out is so clear and it’s so damning. Charlie isn’t talking to her and hasn’t been since before she went traveling this summer. He pulled out his well-worn “we need some space” card and even though she’s reached out a few times – to wish him Happy Birthday, to tell him she was home safe from Europe, that she was driving back to school instead of flying – she’s gotten one word responses or no response at all and yet she’s still claiming he’s her boyfriend when it’s clear to everyone else but her that he’s not.

“Can you stop? I need some air” she says as she swallows down a cry.

“You OK?” Peter slows and reaches out to her but she flinches.

“Please Peter, I have to get out of this car.”

Within a few miles she gets her chance and hurries to the bathroom, desperately trying to keep the tears from spilling out of her eyes. Inside she hides in a stall and quietly sobs because she knows she has to face the reality of the situation with Charlie. How she’s supposed to do that in the middle of nowhere with Peter Kavinsky of all people just makes her cry harder.

“Sugar, you alright?” she hears a woman’s voice and she hiccups down another cry.

“Yes, thank you” her voice is small and she sees the flip flopped feet with the chipped red polish belonging to the voice outside her stall.

“Do you need me to call the police?”

Lara Jean jerks her head up, “The police? Why?”

“That tall fella out there – do you need to get away from him? I got my phone right here sweetie, they can take care of him.”

“No! No, thank you he’s fine.” She pulls out tissue to blot her tears. The woman stays standing outside the door.

“Are you sure now? I’ve been a girl trying to get away from a boy before and I’ll help you, he don’t scare me.”

Lara Jean swings open the door and the woman is older and has too much make-up but her expression is kind. “It’s really fine, honest. He’s a friend from school – we’re driving back to our university and I just sort of had a breakdown about a guy – not him, a different guy. I just needed a little time alone.”

“Aww now” the woman pats her on the arm, “I hear that. I take any time away from my husband I can get!”

After a few more words of encouragement and the lady even dabbing at Lara Jean’s eyes with a tissue from her purse, she thanks her and heads back out to the car.

**

Peter fills the tank and uses the bathroom. He shops in the convenience store for some things to cheer Lara Jean up and he tries to stall for time near the women’s bathroom but realizes that makes him look suspicious. Back at the car he checks the clock and looks towards the station but there’s still no sign of her. He replies to the texts from his mom that did arrive and finally looks at the messages from Eloise and rubs his forehead because the first few are flirty and then there’s a provocative photo and then the last couple are explicit. “Shit” he mutters under his breath.

When she comes out she sees Peter leaning against the Jeep and when he sees her his posture visibly relaxes. “Hey” she says when she reaches him, “sorry about that.”

He shakes his head, “you’ve got nothing to be sorry for. You OK?”

She nods and goes to reach for the passenger door handle. “Hey, wait a sec” and he takes her hand and leads her to the other side, opening the door behind the driver’s seat. “These are for you, they are apology gifts for what I said. I’m sorry I went off on you – that was totally not fair and I hope these Twizzlers the length of your arm,” he pulls out the biggest package of Twizzlers she’s ever seen, “and this six month supply of Cracker Jacks” she laughs when she sees the gigantic box, “show you how bad I feel about making you cry.”

She grins, “are those for me too?” She points to a pair of day-glo knock-off Ray-Bans with the tag still on them and he reaches for them and pulling off the $3.99 price tag, “wow,” she teases, “you sure know how to spoil a girl”

He chuckles and puts them on her, “You look totally bitchin’!”

“Rad!” she giggles and turns to open the Twizzlers and pulling two out she hands him one, “let’s get the hell out of here and get Twizzler Drunk.”

Peter laughs and they get back in the Jeep with her driving this time and as she pulls out she passes the kind lady from the bathroom, “thank you! You’re an angel!” she calls out the window and Peter strains to see who she’s yelling at.

“Who is that?” he says.

“No idea.”

They’re both quiet for a spell when Lara Jean says, “you didn’t have to apologize. You’re not wrong.”

Peter is gnawing on his Twizzler and tips his head to the side to look at her, “I’m not?”

She shakes her head, “he probably has cheated on me. And he does manipulate my feelings based on ways he acted when we first started dating. And I do deserve better because I’m pretty great!”

“No, no you’re not.” She whips her head to face him and he’s got a stub of Twizzler hanging out of the corner of his mouth like a cigarette and it looks stupidly sexy, “you’re _full on great_ , Covey. I don’t know how he doesn’t see it, it’s so obvious how incredible you are.”

She turns back to the road and feels flushed. There’s a way he talks to her – a tone in his voice, a look in his eyes that is getting harder to ignore. She’s not sure how she feels about it quite yet other than the fact that it excites, then confuses her each time. She has to sort out the Charlie drama and there’s the specter of Eloise hanging over everything, but maybe she can just relax a little and give herself permission to enjoy this time with him, no matter where it leads or how it ends.

* * *

“Let’s go watch the sunset” she says as she peers out the window of their motel room. Behind her Peter is sprawled face down on the bed.

“No more driving. Please. I beg you woman, don’t make me drive anywhere else today. Or tomorrow even. Let’s just stay here. Utah seems pretty nice. Brown will understand that we dropped out and can’t leave Utah.”

She pulls the curtain back to reveal a clear blue sky and a distant mountain view. “We’ve missed so many sunsets because we’ve been inside eating when they were happening or too tired to get off the bed.” She walks over and nudges his shoulder.

He groans and swats her hand away. “No. Go away. Or go yourself. Take the Jeep. I don’t mind. I’ll just rest here. The sun will set again and I’ll look at it then.”

She wedges herself onto the bed and leans against him. “You want me driving into the Utah wilderness by myself? With all our stuff? By myself?” she’s using a bit of a baby voice, she knows it’s manipulative, but she really wants to see the sunset. She’s afraid they’ll keep talking about doing it, but they will get to Rhode Island and realize they never did.

Peter looks up at her under his curls, “why are you so hard to say no to Lara Jean Covey?” She makes big Bambi eyes and shrugs and he turns on to his side to face her. “I’ll go if you drive.” Her lips slide into a pout and he reaches over and tickles her waist making her squirm and giggle.

“Fine! Fine! I’ll drive!” she grabs his wrists and standing up she tugs them, “let’s go so we find a good spot before it’s too late.”

**

They find an amazing location about 40 minutes later. They are surrounded by red rock plateaus and a nice breeze is blowing the hot August day away and there’s no one else around for miles. Peter takes a selfie of them with the horizon behind them and throws it up on his Instagram Stories.

They climb on to the hood of the Jeep and watch the sky start to change all around them and when she shivers he offers her his flannel but she goes to get a hoodie from inside the car and when she comes back she’s got the hood up and her hands in her pockets with a funny grin on her face. “What’s up?” he says.

“I found something in my pocket” she says, “and you’ll never guess what it is.”

Peter shakes his head, “how about instead of me guessing a hundred wrong things, you tell me what it is so you can get back up here and enjoy all this” he stretches his arms out to the sky around them.

She holds out her hand and he looks down and says, “holy shit is that what I think it is?” He reaches down and picks it up. It’s a baggie and inside is a joint, a lighter and a note that says, _Light one up for me, have fun you two! XOXO C_

Lara Jean can’t help but giggle at his shocked expression, “do you remember Chris Jenkins from high school?”

“Yeah, of course, she’s Gen’s cousin”

“Right, well she was helping me pack and must have snuck this in.” She puts out her other hand and he grabs it and hoists her back up onto the hood.

“You smoke weed?” he says, his voice mirroring his expression.

“Occasionally, like, very occasionally. Usually when I go to see Chris at Sarah Lawrence.”

“Damn, Covey. You are a woman full of surprises.” He hands the baggie back to her.

“Do you?”

“I didn’t in high school because I didn’t want to jeopardize getting kicked off lacrosse. But a whole lot freshman year of college and now not so much. How do you think my Cereal Power Bowls got started? Pot munchies!”

She laughs and presses herself a bit closer to him. They are quiet for a few minutes as the colors above them continue to evolve. “Do you wanna?” she says, “I feel like getting stoned under a sky like this in Utah of all places, is exactly the reason Chris gifted us this.”

Peter blows out a laugh, “that does sound accurate.” He looks at her, “I’m down if you are.”

Her face curls into a big smile and she opens the bag and lights up the joint. After she takes a toke she passes it to him and he inhales then laughs, “If someone had come up to me in high school and said, _one day you’ll be getting high with Lara Jean Covey in fucking Utah_ I would have thought _they_ were stoned.” She laughs so hard at that she snorts and he waits to pass it back to her, “what kind of stoned do you get?”

She inhales and then hums, “I am a very, very mellow stoner. Suuuuper mellow. Wow. This stuff is strong, huh?”

He nods and it doesn’t take long for them to both feel a smooth, happy high and he lays back on the hood and tugs on her until she joins him. The sky is gleaming orange shot through with pink and it feels like they are on another planet with the warmth of the engine on their backs and a stunning display of color and light above them. She reaches for his hand and he takes hold of it, slipping his fingers between hers and rubbing his thumb over her knuckles then he softly sings,

_And I want to sleep with you in the desert tonight  
with a million stars all around_

“Hmmm?” she feels so good his hand in hers makes her feel safe in the openness of this enormous space.

“That song, you know that song” his voice is low and feels like warm liquid gliding over her skin. “The Eagles” he raises his other hand and brushes it above them, as if he’s pointing out an actual eagle flying overhead.

She does suddenly hear the melody in her head and can picture her dad singing it in the car, his hands tapping out the rhythm on the steering wheel. “I lovvvvvvvve that song” she sighs.

“Oh, man, me too. This sky. I mean, what the fuck is this sky Covey, this doesn’t even look real.”

She giggles because none of this feels real so she turns her head and whispers, “you should kiss me.”

Peter’s head lolls towards hers and he squints, “what did you say? Because I just got high with a really pretty girl who I thought I wasn’t supposed to kiss…so…if we do something now you may regret it when we’re sober…”

She shakes her head, “no I won’t. I promise.” They lay there quietly for a few seconds and she squeezes his hand, “and we’re married” at that they break into matching smiles, “so you should kiss your wife.”

Peter pushes up onto his elbow and moves towards her and she likes seeing his handsome face so close to hers. She brushes her hands lightly over his cheeks and presses the tip of her thumb into his full lower lip until he parts his lips for her. With a breath of a moan he presses his lips into hers and she opens her mouth to pull him in, encouraging him with a sigh and letting her tongue stroke against his while her fingers grasp into his scalp. Putting a hand next to her head Peter braces himself against the hood, taken by surprise by her intensity. The pot is making it all seem like they are in some sort of sensual slow motion and he fights the urge to climb over and press his body down on top of hers and start grinding his hips until she begs him for more than a kiss.

It had been awhile, so she forgot that not only does pot chill her way the hell out, but it makes her kind of horny. Twice when visiting Chris and getting stoned together she ended up fooling around with a musician friend of Chris’ named Rob. But that was just some making out and fumbling under clothes in a dark room. This felt like foreplay – like they were building to something that was going to redefine the rest of their time together on this trip. Her head wasn’t clear enough to overthink it which meant she felt much less inhibited about what was happening as she skimmed her fingers under his flannel shirt to feel the hard V of his lower back flex under her touch.

**

A wind blows up and they both shiver and stop kissing to look up. Around them the sun is sinking quickly and Peter pushes himself back and Lara Jean props herself up and they watch the golden light slip away. “My god” she murmurs at the beauty of it.

He nods and as dark seeps in around them Peter puts out his hand and pulls her up to sit. “You’re cold, we should go back” but she shakes her head.

“I want to see a shooting star.”

He smiles and sits all the way up and motions her between his legs. She slides in with her back against his chest and he folds his legs under her so she’s cupped in the circle of his lap. He pulls her tighter against him and wraps his arms around her, “you have the best ideas Lara Jean” he murmurs into her hair.

They sit on the hood and don’t speak with their eyes to the sky. Their high starts to wear off and even Peter’s body warmth isn’t keeping Lara Jean from shuddering in the cold. When they are about to leave, he gasps and points into the starry night, “there!” and it happens, a shooting star falls right above their heads.

**

In the Jeep he blasts the heat and they both try to focus so they can find their way back to the main road they came in on. When they reach it, Lara Jean gets out her phone and soon the sound of The Eagles fills the quiet space.

_And I found out a long time ago  
what a woman can do to your soul  
Aw but she can’t take you any way  
you don’t already know how to go._

She looks over at Peter and sees him softly singing the words.

_I got a peaceful easy feelin’  
and I know you won’t let me down  
cause I’m already standin’  
on the ground._

When the song ends she sighs loudly, “you know what I could totally go for right now? A Kavinsky Classic Breakfast Cereal Power Bowl”

He glances over at her and in the dim glow of the dashboard lights she can see his excited expression, “is that so?”

“I think it’s the only option! You invented them for a reason Peter, this is the reason – post-high munchies.”

At a truck stop Peter orders multiple mini boxes of cereal and lays them out in front of her. “Now, I can give you recommendations but the key to a successful cereal power bowl is to go with your gut instinct about what to put in it, don’t get hung up on logistics of what seems like it would taste best together.”

She doesn’t hesitate as she reaches for Frosted Flakes, Apple Jacks and Banana Nut Cheerios.

“Hell _yes_ Covey, you are a fucking Cereal Power Bowl all-star on your first go!”

She sloshes on the milk and digs in with her spoon and he watches her wide eyed.

“Mmmmm” she groans, “this is sooo good.”

He throws his head back and howls, “I need a picture of this I have to mark the moment you lost your Breakfast Cereal Power Bowl virginity” he pulls his phone out of his pocket and she smooths her hair back and rubs her eyes then holds up the bowl and makes a face like she’s enthralled with its contents. “Perfect” he sighs as he snaps, “you’re so damn cute, good god.”

She takes another bite, “I bet you say that to all the girls you call your wife and get stoned and make out with in the desert” and bats her eyes at him.

He shakes his head as he plucks boxes of Crunch Berries, Honey Nut Cheerios and Frosted Mini Wheats from the table and empties them into a bowl, “Nope. There’s no one like you, Covey.”

**

“Favorite part of the day?” she whispers in the dark.

“Watching you go to town on your Cereal Power Bowl.”

“Not the sunset?”

“That’s up there”

“Getting stoned together?”

“That was pretty awesome but I’m sticking with you and cereal. It’s the most excited I’ve seen you about anything so far on this trip. What’s your favorite part of the day?”

“Breaking my own rules”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Kissing you again and having my first Cereal Power Bowl – those just went right out the window today. And I’m good with it.”

Even in the dark and her exhausted state she can feel his smile.

“At this rate we may be sharing a bed soon – if you’re suddenly into rule breaking.”

She yawns and murmurs, “I hope you spent your wish wisely on that shooting star, Peter Kavinsky.”

* * *

The next morning Peter is in the shower when she wakes up and she rolls over to check her phone. She’s bleary eyed from the late night but her eyes focus sharply when she sees several notifications from Charlie.

_u didn’t say ur road trip buddy was Peter Kavinsky_

_What’s that about?_

Peter comes out of the bathroom rubbing a towel over his head. He’s still humming The Eagles and reaching for his own phone he starts talking to her about the plan for the day ahead.

“Are you listening to me Covey?” He looks over and she’s fixated on her phone, “Hey, Lara Jean?”

She looks up and her expression is one he hasn’t seen on her before, “Charlie messaged me.”

Peter nods. Charlie’s name hasn’t come up since their conversation about it that ended in her hiding out in a gas station bathroom and returning with red rimmed eyes. He’s been cautious about bringing her situation up again.

“What did he say?”

“Did you tag me on your Instagram?”

He comes over to her bed and sits on it, “No, because I don’t even know your name on Instagram. You are very mysterious about your socials” he playfully nudges her leg but she doesn’t look up from her phone.

She asks for his and opens his Stories. There are several from the previous night – of the blood red plateaus, the sky, their selfie and several shots of the setting sun. Then there’s one of her when they were both laying down on the hood that she forgot he took. Her face is turned to him and the back of her hand rests on her cheek. The light around her is golden and her lips are parted, eyes half lidded and she knows that her altered state is the cause of her expression – but looking at it as Charlie, she can see how it looks provocative. Even though they hadn’t kissed yet the photo captures a look that says they are about to.

“I don’t get this. Does he follow you?” She’s swiping through Peter’s friends list to see if Charlie is on it.

Peter rolls on to her bed to lay next to her and looks at who’s viewed his Stories. “What’s his name again?”

“Charlie Cotter”

“His Insta name”

She is blanking out as she madly scrolls and checks her profile to find it. “Chex2_BrownU” she says as Peter suddenly sits back up.

“Chex? Ohhhh shit, I know him!”

She bolts up and says cautiously, “what do you mean you know him? You said you didn’t.”

Peter searches for a photo in his feed and shows it to her, “is this Charlie Cotter?”

Her mouth drops open because there is Charlie and Peter and some other boys she doesn’t know holding up red Solo cups in a toast in what looks like a familiar dorm room.

“You said you didn’t know him!” she says again, her voice accusatory.

“I didn’t! Or, I did but I didn’t know his full name. We call him Chex because he freaking loves…”

“Chex mix” Lara Jean finishes and slumps back onto her pillows, “ohmigod. He follows your Insta and saw this.” She holds up her own phone to him to show him the shot of her on the hood.

“I love that pic” he grins at her, “did you not tell him you were going with me?”

She closes her eyes and sighs, “I said I was going with a friend from high school. But he didn’t respond so I didn’t bother going into details.”

Peter lays back down and turns on his side to face her. He kind of wants to get under the covers with her and he definitely wants to kiss her some more but he knows timing is not on his side at the moment. “Can I ask you a question?” when she nods he continues, “is it really a big deal that he knows we’re driving together? You’re not dating. He didn’t even want to know who you were driving with or check in on you. Who cares if he gives a damn now?”

“I don’t know Peter, it’s confusing. You know that everything with him is so complicated. But if you’re friends with him then how do you not know about us? How come we’ve never run into each other at a party or something because of him?”

“I wish you hadn’t asked that” he sighs, and that answer makes her turn to face him on the narrow double bed. “Because Chex has almost always as long as I’ve known him, acted single.”

Her eyes narrow, “details, please.”

“Lara Jean…”

“Just tell me.”

“OK, well we are not best buddies or anything. He’s better friends with Tommy so that’s how I know him. And we’ve hung out and been at parties and games together. But in all that time he’s never talked about a girlfriend and he’s hit on a lot of girls.” The way her face falls makes him want to punch Chex in the face even harder than he wanted to before when he was just some random guy at school he didn’t know.

“Could it have been when we were broken up?”

He shakes his head, “I don’t know. But please don’t make excuses for him.” He tentatively reaches over and brushes hair back from her cheek and drifts his hand down to rest on her shoulder, moving his thumb to caress her. “Remember when I said I thought you deserved better? Now that I know who we’re talking about I _know_ you deserve better.”

**

As they are packing up the Jeep she gets several more messages from Charlie.

_I know Kavinsky pretty well and u should be careful. He’s def a player_

_It’s been really hard being away from u all summer. I miss u. How long is it going to take to get to campus?_

_Where r u? If u catch a flight from Chicago I’ll get u at the airport. We can have time together bf school starts to work shit out_

She doesn’t respond to any of the messages because her head is spinning at how he’s behaving – how he’s acting like the last few months of ghosting her didn’t happen. And it does not escape her attention that his interest in her has only been stoked once he knew Peter was involved.

_Look, I don’t want to scare u but I know some bad shit about Kavinsky and I think u have to be careful around him. U should fly back mb bf Chicago. I can buy the tix if u want_

**

While Lara Jean was checking out of the motel Peter heard his phone buzz and saw he too had DMs from Chex-AKA-Charlie.

_Dude I hope ur treating my girlfriend right_

_And by “right” I don’t mean fucking her_

_u wouldn’t do ur boy a dirty like that, would u PK_

Peter types a few furious responses about how he’s not his boy and she’s not his girlfriend and some threats about not contacting her anymore or he will find him and kick his cheating ass. But he erases them when he realizes that not saying anything is going to mess with the guy more than arguing with him in DMs will.

“What’s up?” Lara Jean has jumped in the passenger seat as Peter slides his phone off and throws it in the cup holder.

“I got some messages from Chex – Charlie, whatever we’re calling him.”

“You did? What did they say?”

“It was a one man pissing contest to stake his claim.”

“On me?”

“Duh, yeah you.”

“He wrote me more too.”

Peter feels his temper flare up, “let me guess, he suddenly wants you back.”

She clicks her seatbelt in and turns down the sunscreen. “He definitely doesn’t want me around you and thinks I should fly back to school right away. Apparently, you’re some kind of predator that I should be wary of.”

“That’s fucking rich” Peter snorts as he starts the car. “What did you say?”

“I haven’t responded. He’s clearly jealous of you and suspicious that we are up to something.”

He holds his hand out and she gets out his sunglasses to give him, their habits becoming travel shorthand. “Let me tell you something about cheaters, Covey – whatever they accuse you of is exactly what they are guilty of doing.”

“We’re not exactly _not_ doing anything”

He looks over at her with a grin and he looks incredibly hot in his mirrored aviators, “We’re both single. No one in this car is cheating on anyone. We’ve kissed a few times – I could have told you that would happen but you were too busy setting rules.”

“Because of our good chemistry.”

“Yeah. And because you find me _unbelievably_ attractive.”

“Well, you know what they say about good chemistry…” She slides her day-glo Ray-Bans on and returns his wicked grin.

Peter sucks a breath in through his teeth, “the motel is only four miles back Mrs. Kavinsky, I will turn this car around and we can be breaking your ‘no shared bed’ rule in about 15 minutes.”

“There’s always another motel" she purrs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peaceful Easy Feeling / The Eagles (1972)


	4. Wyoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spending the day taking care of a sick Lara Jean has Peter questioning his feelings and a late night swim has Lara Jean questioning hers while Eloise and Charlie get put on pause.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've been having a fun convo in the comments about who to "cast" as Charlie/Chex and the unanimous choice was a preppy Ansel Elgort and his Very Punchable Face. So - there's a visual target for your ire 😉

Lara Jean wakes up with a migraine. She doesn’t get them very often but when she does she is down for hours at a time. Peter has gone out on a run as he’s been trying to do most mornings (and trying unsuccessfully to get her to join him.) When he returns, he comes over to her bed and starts joking about her laziness when he notices she doesn’t look good.

He crouches down and asks her what’s the matter and she mumbles something and even though they sounded like words in her head, she’s not sure they came out that way. His brow furrows and he looks worried. Reaching out he puts his hand on her forehead like his mom used to but he’s not sure if she should be hot or cold. She finally croaks out “migraine.”

Peter has no idea what to do – he knows nothing about migraines, so he Googles them and grabs her a bottle of water. She doesn’t take it and now he’s feeling like he may start panicking. He did Boy Scouts as a kid but nothing in “Be Prepared” told you how to deal with a non-responsive girl with a migraine in a motel in the middle of fucking nowhere, U.S.A.

He texts his mom, but she must be at her early class at the gym. Lara Jean is so still it’s freaking him out, so he grabs her phone and calls her dad who rattles off some things that usually help her recover – coconut water, Ibuprofen, “and some warm compresses to her head. That helps a lot if you don’t mind sitting there holding it for her.”

“I don’t mind” Peter says quickly. “Is she going to be OK?”

“She’ll be fine Peter. Just keep the room dark and quiet and let her sleep. Call me back if you need to. But for now, enjoy a day off from being on the road.”

**

He spends his time carefully moving around the room with the blinds drawn. After the long days of driving and the time filled talking with her everything feels weird and silent. He sits on his bed and watches her for a while, but she never moves and he finds himself nervously checking if she’s still breathing even though Dr. Covey assured his paranoid ass that no one dies from a migraine.

Eventually he gets his earbuds and gets on her bed. He’s careful to move himself slowly so he doesn’t disturb her, and he reclines next to her and flips through his phone for a game to play to pass the time. He feels better being near her where he can feel her warmth and see the rise and fall of her breathing. And if she needs him, he’ll be right there.

He dozes off but wakes quickly when he feels the bed shift. Opening his eyes Lara Jean has turned on her side and now her little face is near his. He whispers her name, but she doesn’t respond, and he remembers she should have a compress so he slips off the bed to warm up a washcloth.

She feels something on her forehead and she makes a little noise. She hears Peter’s voice and she moans. Her head feels slightly better and the compress feels soothing. After a bit he gets up but returns and gently puts it on her again and the warmth seeps into her body. The mattress bounces slightly and she realizes he must be laying down next to her. She reaches her hand and finds him – soft cotton over his broad chest and she rests her palm against him, “where have you been?

“I’ve been right here” he whispers.

“All day?”

“Yeah, all day.”

She cracks her eyes open but the room is dim so she has no idea what time it is, she’s actually forgotten what state they are in at the moment.

“Why didn’t you go somewhere?”

He smiles at her and with a soft chuckle says, “where would I go? We’re in Wyoming! Besides, I wouldn’t leave you all alone when you’re sick.” He moves his hand up to cover hers as it rests against him.

“See?” she sighs, “You’re such good boyfriend material.”

She smiles as she says it and closes her eyes and he swallows hard because he feels like that’s something they should talk about again but she drifts back to sleep so he takes the washcloth off and closes his eyes too.

**

When she awakens she’s starving. She’s also sprawled half on top of Peter who is on his back with his arm around her shoulders holding her against his body. She’s not sure how they got in this position but she’s not complaining. His steady sleeping breaths under her ear make her feel relaxed as she thinks about how he took care of her all day long.

She snuggles herself closer to him and drifts her hand over his stomach letting her fingers brush against him. After a few minutes he starts to stir and rub her shoulder and up to the back of her neck where he starts massaging her.

“Mmm” she tilts her head so more of her neck is available to him, “that feels good.”

“You feel good” he whispers, “really good.” He knows he should not be getting aroused because she doesn’t feel well and he won’t take advantage of that, but it’s hard not to feel _something_ when her whole body is pressed into him and her fingers are playing at the surface of his t-shirt and she’s almost nuzzling his shoulder as she enjoys the way he’s touching her.

Lara Jean’s head doesn’t hurt anymore but she does feel lightheaded – he’s still moving his fingers over the muscles of her neck and they slip up into her hair a few times and back down with just a slight enough scratch of his nails to make her want to moan a little. She wonders how long they could go like this – just touching each other without doing anything more – right now feels so intimate and she sort of doesn’t want it to stop.

Her stomach however, announces it has a different idea.

Peter gives a little laugh, “was that you?”

She buries her face into his chest, “I haven’t eaten since last night.”

“Awww!” he pulls back from her a bit to look down, “what do you want? I’ll go get it.”

What she wants is to stay cuddled up with him. The migraine has left her not only hungry but feeling a bit weak and muddled enough to crave something that she normally would never want, “a McDonald’s Filet-o-Fish and fries, lots of hot, greasy, fries.”

Peter smiles at her and starts slipping out from under her, “you got it. Do you want to come? Or does your head still hurt too much?”

She pushes herself up and says, “I think I want a hot bath.”

“OK!” he says brightly, “I’ll get it ready for you!” and he bounds towards the bathroom. She calls after him that he doesn’t need to do that but hears the water start running so she looks at her phone and sees texts from her dad.

_How are you feeling honey? Text me when you’re up and let me know. Nice pictures of that sunset btw!_

_Sounds like Peter was going to take good care of you. Has he ever considered being a doctor?_ _😉_

When Peter comes back she says, “hey, did you talk to my dad today?”

He stops and looks like a little boy about to be yelled at and it’s totally endearing, “I _may_ have panicked a little when you were so out of it and called him. Are you mad?”

She shakes her head, “No, that’s pretty thoughtful. What did he tell you?”

He puts his wallet in his pocket, “that you would be good if you slept and that you need coconut water and Ibuprofen, which I am going to get along with a fuck ton of French Fries.”

She gets up and he rushes over to help her, “woah, wait are you gonna be OK? I’ll wait until you’re back in bed if you want.”

“Noooo!” she whines, “I need that Filet-o-Fish and fuck ton of fries, _now_! I’ll be out by the time you get back.” They’re facing one another and she looks up at him, “thanks for taking such good care of me today – and for checking in with my dad. Any idea how he saw pictures of the Utah sunset that I didn’t send him?” she asks with an eyebrow raise.

“We did text a bit today – mostly about you, of course, and I might have sent him some.”

She shakes her head and gives a little laugh, “my dad always says he’s fine having only daughters, but sometimes I think that’s not entirely accurate.”

He grins, “there was no bubble bath so I emptied some shampoo in the tub” and he likes the smile that spreads over her face, “just be careful in there. I’ll be as fast as I can. And take your phone so if you need anything or you don’t feel well you can call me.” She rises on her tip toes and places a kiss on his cheek and then moves past him to the bathroom and closes the door behind her.

He doesn’t move for a moment and then finds himself at the bathroom door – his hands pressed on either side of the doorframe and head tilting towards it. He suddenly has this overwhelming feeling of missing her. That she’s been out of his sight for five seconds and he feels like he must see her, wants to sit next to the tub and drift his hand through the bubbly water and make her laugh and watch the heat of the water flush her face.

At the drive-thru he’s checking his phone to make sure she hasn’t texted, and it occurs to him that he can’t recall ever worrying this much about someone he wasn’t related to before. He scrolls until he finds Eloise’s last message and taps out a reply.

_Hey El, I think timing might not be on our side and this time it’s entirely on me. I’ll explain when I get back to campus_

The car ahead of him leaves and he pulls up to get their order.

_I did not want to be the type of dickhead who gets a sexy selfie from a beautiful woman and then ghosts her. You’re awesome – my head is just somewhere else rn_

What he thinks but doesn’t say as he drives back towards the motel is that his head is with _someone_ else.

**

“My day was barely even a day but my favorite part of it was that Filet-o-Fish” she says after he’s turned the light off. “It’s almost scary how satisfying it was. That migraine may have given me some sort of brain damage to make me find it so delicious. What was yours?”

He’s blinking hard and running through the strange day of Lara Jean being bedridden and him fretting about it, “the best part of my day was when you felt better and were talking again. It was too weird not having you be you. I missed you, Covey.”

She flashes back to him putting warm compresses on her head and drawing her a bath, rushing back in with bottles of coconut water and insisting she eat her dinner on his bed so she didn’t get any crumbs in hers.

“I amend my answer – my favorite part was that _you_ brought me the world’s best Filet-o-Fish”

He laughs, “and a fuck ton of French fries.”

“A _fuck_ ton” she giggles.

* * *

Peter is trying to convince her to sneak down and use the motel pool at 1:22AM, “it’s closed – we can’t break in.”

“Sure we can!” he says with a grin, a towel from the bathroom slung over his shoulder.

“I didn’t pack a swimsuit anyway.”

He shrugs, “Me either. C’mon, it’s still so hot out and it will feel good.”

“Are you skinny dipping??”

He has to laugh at the look of shock on her cute face. “You _wish._ ”

She groans and he smirks as he reaches under his shorts and snaps the waistband of his boxer briefs.

“Nope. Not going in a closed pool, in the middle of the night, in my underwear, you’re on your own Kavinsky.”

But he’s grabbed her hand and is pulling her out the door and down the hall, “keep me company then, baby doll.”

**

It is still crazy hot out and she nervously keeps looking around as Peter peels off his shorts and jumps feet first into the pool. She sits cross legged on the edge and watches him silently cut through the water. The pool isn’t lit at night so there is a bit of a cloak of invisibility which makes her relax a bit. She’s not a rule breaking type of girl but something about Peter’s enthusiasm and incredibly persuasive puppy dog eyes has been making her take chances more than usual.

He swims over to her with half his face submerged and those very appealing eyes watching her from above the water. She laughs lightly as he comes right up below her.

“Come in, it’s nice” he says but she shakes her head, “I won’t look while you get undressed even though I know you want me to” he winks at her and she rolls her eyes at him.

“You have a very high opinion of yourself” she whispers but it’s said with affection. His self-confidence is something she admires about him. He wields it in a way that feels reassuring and not arrogant.

He reaches up and puts damp hands on her bare knees, “put your feet in at least, work with me a little here Lara Jean.” Even in the dim light of the night sky he can see each time she smiles. He’s getting a little addicted to making her smile at him.

She sighs dramatically and starts to unfold her legs and he slides his hands down to her calves and pulls her a little closer to the edge. “Don’t pull me in!” she warns as her feet sink down into the water.

Backing up a little he keeps his hands on her and indulges in a fleeting fantasy of her ankles draped onto his shoulders and how it would look to have her underneath him – what he would be doing with her if he had that view.

“What?” she asks as she sways her feet back and forth around him. “What’s that look?”

His face feels hot and he dunks his head into the water and comes back up and shakes it like a wet dog and she makes a squeal at getting splashed and covers her mouth in case anyone heard.

Suddenly she wants to slip into the water and wrap herself around him. Feel the hardness of his chest press against her breasts and his hands slide under her thighs and hold her up against him. Her breath feels slowed and heavy and she feels almost drowsy with desire. With no warning Peter puts his hands on the edge of the pool, pinning her in and pushes his body up from the water so he’s between her legs and now at eye level.

He’s dripping down all over her and she involuntarily gasps and murmurs, “what are you doing…you’re getting me wet.”

It doesn’t sound like a question to him, so he doesn’t respond to it with an answer. His face hovers close to hers and his eyes can’t pull away from her lips which look plump and soft and ready. “Maybe I wanna get you wet.” He drawls and slowly looks back up into her eyes and she looks the way she did the night of the desert sunset when she asked him to kiss her. He starts to feel a fatigue in his shoulders and tilts his head back, “do you want me to stop?”

“I don’t mind” she breathes out.

“No?” he tilts his face to hers and brushes his lips against her lips. He wants to take her back to their room and fuck her until they are _both_ senseless and exhausted and panting and satisfied. His shoulders shudder and she moves her hands on to them and then around his neck letting her fingers twirl into his hair at the nape.

“I want to go to bed” she lets the words hang there in the charged air between them.

**

In the room they move quietly around each other. She goes to brush her teeth and splash cold water on her face. _He doesn’t want to be a boyfriend. You would have to be OK with this being casual._ She’s staring at her reflection and trying to picture herself being fine with that distinction. Trying to see what the rest of the trip would be like if she gave in right now to what she really wants. Could she go back to school with him and just be another one of the girls he’s slept with? _Can you live with that?_

Peter sits at the end of his bed with the towel still wrapped around his waist. He is fighting his most primal instincts and knows he must calm the hell down and let her lead them to wherever she wants it to go. The bathroom door opens and she comes out and stands in front of him. He lifts his head to look at her and she gives him a small smile.

“Hi” she says and he says it back. Reaching her hand for his she takes it and interlaces their fingers together. “Peter…I think…I don’t think we should have sex. I’m not…I’m not ready yet.” She sees a muscle twitch in his cheek but his eyes stay fixed on hers and he nods.

“That’s cool, Covey.” He’s also turning over the _not ready_ part of her statement as if there might be a point ahead when she is in fact ready.

“But I like being close to you and I don’t want to sleep alone tonight. Can we sleep together? Just sleep? And I know that’s asking a lot when it can’t go past that so it’s fine if you say no.”

He shakes his head and takes her other hand in his, “It’s not a lot to ask. Not at all.”

“No?” her face brightens.

“I like being close to you too, Lara Jean.” She smiles at him and his heart honest-to-fucking-god does a little leap. What is this girl _doing_ to him?? “You pick the bed and we’ll get in that one. And we will sleep and that’s all – a good, clean, totally platonic night of sleeping together.”

“Go get ready and I’ll surprise you with my selection” she grins at him and he laughs as he stands.

“You got it Goldilocks. Pick the bed that is _just right_.”

**

He returns in dry boxer briefs, sweatpants and a tank top. His MO is to sleep in nothing but sharing rooms with her he’s kept underwear and a shirt on, and he figures he should keep the pants too and get some padding between them.

She’s in her bed and pulls the sheet back to invite him in. “Wait,” she glances down, “why are you wearing sweats? Don’t you just sleep in your underwear?”

He coughs, “Uh, I’m trying to be polite?”

“I think you should be comfortable” she’s in her cute little matching PJ set and propped up on her elbow, the collar falling to reveal the smooth line of her collarbone and he inhales and slips his pants off and the way her eyes travel over him does not escape his notice.

Once he’s in bed he looks around, “so, this is what it’s like on this side of the room.” Every place they’ve stayed she’s chosen the bed farthest from the door. “Pretty magical, I can see why you prefer it.”

She giggles, “don’t tease me! You can have this side if you want next time.”

“Don’t patronize me Covey.”

She laughs and they lay down facing each other. “Thanks for doing this” she says, “I’m glad you’re over here.”

“Me too” he says, as he reaches back and turns the light off. “You good?”

She’s quiet and then says, “how do you feel about spooning?”

He smiles in the dark, “I feel good about it, bring it in here.”

She rolls over and he pulls her into him and they adjust until they feel right. “Still OK Kavinsky?”

He’s reveling in the clean citrus smell of her hair and the warmth of her body curved into his chest, “there is one problem…”

Her head turns back towards him and he can feel her body tensing, “…you didn’t tell me your favorite part of the day”

She heaves out something between a laugh and a sigh, “Oh, well hmmm…watching you try on cowboy hats was definitely an experience.”

He moves his arm around her waist. “I can’t believe I let you talk me out of buying one. I looked _so_ cool. I don’t care what you say.”

He feels her head shake under his chin, “you _so_ did not Peter. You looked like you were in a Halloween costume” she rests her hand on his arm.

“I could totally be a cowboy” he insists.

“Yeah for Halloween! So, what was yours?”

“You trying on those boots was pretty damn hot – you’d make a smokin’ cowgirl, Covey. Cowboys would be lining up to take you to the barn dance. You’d turn me down though because you wouldn’t like my hat.”

**

He slips out of the bed to go for a run earlier than usual. It’s supposed to be another day of extreme temperatures, so he wants to get it in before it’s unbearable to be outside. He also needs to get some space from Lara Jean and the temptations of her warm body wrapped around his – her soft breaths as she drifted off to sleep, the feel of her moving inside the circle his arms and nestling into him like she found him the safest place in the world to be.

He thinks about the little moan she made when he untangled himself from her, like she didn’t want him to leave and how he very nearly got back in bed because it was hard to resist her. As he picks up speed he remembers struggling to control himself not to give in to all his instincts to slide his hands up to cup her breasts and let his fingers tease at her nipples until she arched back into him. To not tilt her face to his and kiss her long and hard before dragging his mouth down her neck – her throat – leaving wet kisses and tender bites at places that would make her shudder. He pushes himself to run faster as his mind recounts the restraint he employed to keep himself from rolling her on to her back and moving down her body taking her panties with him until she was so wet for him she’d say yes to everything he wanted to do to her.

He’s sweating hard and the sun is just starting to come up and he has no idea what exactly happened since he ran into her back home at the café and this morning waking up with her curled into him because they hadn’t parted once all night. He can’t tell if he’s developing actual feelings or if he’s confused by the sexual frustration from all the kissing and flirting and current sleeping arrangement. Not to mention all her sexy tank tops and cute dresses, her adorable nose scrunches and her dazzling smiles and how she always smells so fucking good no matter how hot it is or how long they’ve been cooped up with the stale air of the Jeep.

Everything between them has become fuzzier each day they are on this journey – sometimes by the hour. He thinks they should maybe talk about that – about what they are feeling, about how he’s put things on pause with Eloise and where she’s at with Charlie, but he’s also so happy being with her that he’s afraid to ruin it by bringing up something that could end with answers he doesn’t want to hear.

Maybe the fact that he’s enjoying her so much answers the exact thing he’s trying to figure out.

**

She exhales when she hears the door unlock and Peter comes back in. He left while it was still dark which he didn’t usually do, and she couldn’t go back to sleep worrying that he’d get hit by a car or trip over something on a desolate road and no one would find him. She also had been so deeply asleep next to him that she physically felt cold after he left.

He’s pulled his shirt off and is trying to quietly rummage in his duffel when she sits up and says, “Hey, you.” He turns and she expects his usual big grin but he seems serious. “Is everything OK?” she asks, “did something happen?”

He shakes his head, “nah, just going to shower, sorry to wake you.” They are quiet for a few seconds and she feels like there’s some tension in the room that wasn’t there before.

“Peter” she starts, and he keeps digging and just gives her a hum of acknowledgement. “Was last night too weird? I don’t want anything to be uncomfortable between us.”

He goes still and she stares at his back, slick with perspiration and she really would very much like to run her hands along the blades of his shoulders and drag her nails down the slope of his spine then roll her tongue inside the beautiful back dimples that sit perfectly positioned above the waistband of his running shorts. Her sister’s assessment that he’s “ _so hot_ ” only scratched the surface of the depth of his hotness.

He comes and sits on the bed across from her and she can see his face is clouded with something that’s not usually there. “It wasn’t too weird. Was it weird for you?”

She shakes her head, “I liked it. You’re nice to wake up to – when you’re there and haven’t gone out into the dark morning to possibly be kidnapped by a trucker.” His mouth quirks up a bit at the corner and she takes a breath, “I know that I made a bunch of rules before we started and I’ve been tossing them away, then replacing them with new rules and if you want to make some rules then I think you should, it’s only fair.”

His stare is intense as his hands run up and down the tops of his thighs and she is starting to think she was incredibly stupid last night because she wants him to stalk over to her and press her back onto the bed then pin her arms, push apart her legs and kiss her so hard she forgets her name before he tears her pajamas off and pleasures her until the sun goes down.

“Covey?” she didn’t realize he’d been talking as she fantasized about him ravishing her like the hero of one of her bodice rippers. She assures him she’s listening and then focuses on his words and not her dirty wandering mind.

“The only rule is we’re honest with each other. If we want something – or don’t want something. It’s just…it’s important to me that we stay honest about…everything.” He wanted that to come out more eloquent and far more specific than it did, but she’s got messy sexy bed head and her bare legs would look amazing wrapped around his hips and if he doesn’t get in the shower and rub one out soon he may start screaming from her overloading the circuits of his libido.

“OK” she nods, “I can do that.” He smiles at her and the tension seems to be broken and he thumbs towards the bathroom and then gets up and she says, “let’s do something fun today. That _was_ one of your rules, remember?”

“Yeah? No destination or timetable for where to be next?”

“Nope. We can even stay here again tonight. We could buy swimsuits and go to the pool when it is officially open for business.”

He swallows a groan at the thought of her in a bikini and gives her finger guns like an idiot and the directive to “find us some fun Covey. The stupider, the better.”

After she hears the shower start, she reaches for her phone and before she searches for someplace for them to go, she finally replies to Charlie:

_I’m not flying back early so you’ll just have to wait and see me when we get there_

_I trust Peter so stop trying to convince me he’s something he’s not because I know him a lot better than you do_

The fact that Peter didn’t try anything in bed with her when he’d made it clear that he was interested in taking things farther had cemented that trust. She’s not sure if the tables had been turned she’d have been able to keep her desires locked down enough to not at least try to change his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo I am pretty sure this is the chapter the yelling is gonna start in the comments because the slow burn is doing its thing 😉
> 
> Bring it on - you know I love when you demand they get over their nonsense and get on each other!


	5. Nebraska

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get steamy - literally - between Peter and Lara Jean as they take a side trip, debate romantic gestures and push the boundaries of their arrangement.
> 
> 🚨🚨Smut Ahead!🚨🚨

She doesn’t tell him what they are going to see so he just has to follow her directions. They head North and she takes photos of him driving and videos of the scenery.

“What are you doing with these?” he asks.

“Instagram” she’s filtering and tagging and posting.

“You? Are actually using social media?” he gasps with feigned shock. “Are you going to let me know your name so I can see?”

“I’m tagging you so, yes.”

“Chex is probably going to see them you know.”

“I know” she grins. “I hope he does and then he’ll know I’m having a really good time. With you.”

“So, you’re just using me to make your ex-boyfriend jealous? That’s ice cold, Covey!”

“Don’t be silly” she coos, “I can think of a lot better ways to use you than that.”

He takes his eyes off the road long enough to give her his best flirty eyes, “you can use me any way you want.”

She takes a swig of her water because it suddenly feels very hot in the air-conditioned Jeep.

**

“It’s a lighthouse. In Nebraska. Why is there a lighthouse in landlocked Nebraska?” Peter asks as they stand in front of the site Lara Jean picked for them to see.

Reading from the website on her phone she says, “ _Wilbur Johnson built it for his wife Nora in 1937. Nora was a native of Maine and got homesick for the ocean, so he made it for her to feel like she had a little bit of the New England coast right here at home in Nebraska…_ awwww that is so sweet!” she coos, “I love a big romantic gesture.”

“Go big or go home” Peter says. “So, can we go in it?”

“Yes! And there’s a gift shop. We need some souvenirs Peter, we have been very lax in our cheesy souvenir collecting.”

“After you, Miss” he gestures to the stairs and then winces when he realizes that now he’ll be following her up – her sweet ass at his eye level as he shoves his hands in his pockets because she is driving him to the edge of not trusting himself to behave.

**

“We can agree to disagree about the cowboy hat, but you can’t argue with this” he says as she looks over her shoulder at him and her eyes widen. He’s grabbed a sailor cap from a shelf in the gift shop and stuck it on his head and he looks so insanely handsome she starts to blush.

“You should buy that” is what she says as he walks closer to her, his head tipped down and a mischievous look in his eyes.

“Yeah?”

She nods, “you look so good! It really suits you, see?” she points to the mirror behind her and they look at it at the same time and he starts making silly faces pretending to be suave and she cracks up. “OK, now you’re ruining it.” She reaches up to adjust it and move some hair out of his eyes.

“You know that famous photo?” he says, his voice low and close.

“Could you be more specific?” she replies and suddenly he grabs her and dips her back, one arm tight around her waist and the other slung around her neck and he plants a kiss on her, a hot, surprising, thrilling kiss. “OH…” she murmurs when he breaks the kiss and moves back, releasing his grip on her, “… _that_ famous photo.”

He tips the cap at her and gives her a wink, “ma’am” he says, and turns and walks away from her with a grin on his face. There’s an elderly couple watching them and the woman smiles at him, “isn’t she pretty!” and the man pats his arm, “you make me wish I was young again, son” and reaches out his hand and Peter shakes it.

Lara Jean misses the exchange because she’s pulling up the photo on her phone, _V-J Day in Times Square_. She studies the iconic photo of a sailor in a hat just like the one Peter has on, planting a spontaneous smooch on a woman dressed in white as a crowd around them celebrates the end of WWII. She’s not sure how it happened, but she seems to be living some sort of romcom with Peter Kavinsky as her romantic hero.

**

“So, what kind of _romantic gestures_ set Lara Jean Covey’s heart aflutter?” they are sitting on the balcony of their latest motel drinking beers and eating pizza in the magic evening light.

“Lloyd Dobler with a boombox – Jake Ryan with a birthday cake” she says and takes another slice.

He looks at her, “who, now?”

She freezes midbite, “Oh, no no _no_. Please tell me you are messing with me” she says.

He rolls his shoulders, “are they guys you know at Brown?”

She drops her slice back in the box, “PETER!” she squeaks, “are you even serious right now?? You don’t know _Lloyd Dobler_??” when he turns his palms up she groans. “Ohmigod at some point this semester you are coming over and we are having a movie night. I cannot continue to be friends with someone who has never seen _Say Anything_ or _Sixteen Candles_!”

“Wait, these are guys in movies?”

She looks up at the sky, “is the universe testing me?” she mutters and he laughs, “they are not just _guys in movies_. They are the epitome of teen romcom perfect fantasy boyfriends!” She gets her phone out and starts typing.

“What are you doing?”

“I have to tell Kitty about this” she says as she taps, “we’ll see how much she worships you now” she sticks her tongue out at him and he rolls his eyes.

“I have zero worries about my standing with your family. They _love_ me.”

“Don’t remind me, I’m surprised you don’t all have your own group chat at this point.”

“How do you know we don’t?”

Her phone chirps, “She says, _if he watches them with you, THEN will you please make out with him??_ , oh for fucks sake!” Lara Jean sputters as Peter throws his head back and howls with laughter.

“That’s my girl” he says, “tell her how good a kisser I am.”

“I’m telling her nothing!”

“What are you waiting for Covey, a big romantic gesture? I’ve protected you in a bar, bought you your body weight in Cracker Jacks, nursed you back to health – and I literally swept you off your feet today.”

“Where’s the fun in telling you what I want?” she picks up her abandoned slice and starts to eat while he opens another beer, “that makes it too easy – you don’t have to try.”

“Fair enough. But I will tell you one thing – when you say exactly what it is that you want, then you get _exactly what you want_.”

**

He’s in his bed when she walks past him towards hers and then stops and comes back.

“Can I?” she points down and he nods and slides over to make room for her. She gets in and props herself up on her elbow on the pillow. “What was your favorite part of the day?” she says, her voice soft.

“When I kissed you.”

“That was a good kiss” she sighs, “you are a great kisser although I’m not giving my sister the satisfaction of knowing how I know that.”

They share a smile and he asks, “what was yours?”

She leans towards him a little, “when you kissed me.”

“Covey” he reaches over and fingers the piping on her cute little pajama top.

“Hmm?” she doesn’t stop him from doing it.

“This is the first time our favorite thing has been the same thing.”

She nods, “must be some kind of sign” she slides her hand towards him and runs the backs of her fingers over the ribbing of his tank. “Peter”

“Yeah?” his fingers have settled above the first button of her top and his thumb plays with the button.

“Can I ask for something that I want?”

“You can ask me for anything, Lara Jean” he shifts towards her and her head drops so their faces are close.

“I want a goodnight kiss.”

* * *

He doesn’t go for a run. He doesn’t want to get out of the bed. Why would he when he’s got Lara Jean sleeping on his chest with her leg thrown over his thigh and the scent of her hair filling his nostrils and the deliciously warm press of her bare skin against his.

He’s learned over the course or many mornings since Oregon that she is not a morning person. She’s a deep sleeper who likes to sleep late and is a little testy when she first wakes up. So he enjoys the silence of just holding her and caressing her back and feeling her light puffs of breath seep over him.

**

_“You really are a boy who knows how to kiss a girl” she murmured as he traveled his lips over her face and to her ear, tasting her and breathing her in._

_“Hmmm?”_

_“Something someone said” she sighed and ran her hands into his hair. He thought he should ask who, but realized he didn’t care because that meant thinking about something that wasn't Lara Jean._

_He felt her shift under him and he rose up to see what she was doing. Her eyes were on his when she said, “tell me something you want” while her fingers slid teasingly over the buttons of her pajama top. He took a slow inhale and tugged the hem of it._

_“I want to see you without this on.”_

_Her fingers unbuttoned one, then the other – her eyes never leaving his. He slipped the bottom two loose and they met in the middle at the last one. He could feel how hard she was breathing by the rapid rise and fall of her stomach where his hand lingered waiting for the last button to come undone._

_She nodded and he undid it and she exhaled a low whimper as he pressed his hands around her waist and then slowly slid them up until he knocked the edges of her top open and it fell away._

_He let out a low, appreciative whistle and she blushed and arched her back just enough to seem like she was presenting herself to him and he said, “if I start telling you all the things I want we’re never going to leave this room. I’m never gonna let you out of this bed.”_

_She sat up and shrugged the PJs off her shoulders and pinched at his tank top, “take this off” she instructed, and he reached back and pulled it up over his head then grabbed her by the waist and settled her on his lap so they were finally skin to skin._

_“You’re not getting any sleep tonight” he warned as he nuzzled her neck, his hands running up her back and sides and teasing at the curve of her breasts._

_“I don’t need it,” she murmured, “I just need you.” With her head thrown back she shifted and then started rolling her hips into his lap and against his cock and he growled and kissed her again, kissed her harder, his hand slipping down into the waistband of her pajama bottoms and fingers digging into her ass, urging her to keep riding him._

_“You make me so wet” she moaned. It was the sexiest thing she’d ever said to him and he was already addicted to hearing her talk dirty. He pressed her down on to her back and slid his finger over the waistband of her pajamas and down to skim between her legs where she gasped and tilted her hips into his touch._

_“Nothing can happen” he said and her eyes narrowed._

_“What??”_

_He chuckled and pulled her legs to wrap around his hips, “rules are made to be broken, Covey.”_

_Grabbing the waistband of his shorts she tugged him down on to her, “shut up and start breaking them.”_

**

She pauses at the bathroom door and takes a deep breath before she pushes it open. Moving towards the shower she slides the curtain back and steps inside.

Peter’s back is turned as he washes his face and he looks over his shoulder at her and she almost laughs because she’s never seen anyone look so stunned. “What…what are you doing?” He doesn’t sound accusatory, but he does sound confused.

She steps closer, “let me in the water, it’s cold over here” she reaches to get her hand under the spray and grazes by his arm.

He half turns, he seems almost shy and says, “you’re naked, Lara Jean.”

She smiles at him, “fun fact about me – I don’t shower in my clothes. Peter let me under, I’m getting cold!” she shivers and watches him taking her in. She feels bold and powerful and it’s been at least 15 minutes since he’s touched her and that feels too long.

Peter is not quite sure what to do because he thinks maybe he’s hallucinating this. But she’s moved right against his back and wrapped her arms under his and her hands up towards his shoulders. He felt her skin against his last night but this time there’s wetness and heat with it and she is kind of blowing his mind. He puts his hands over hers and she rests her head on his back and sighs and he gets up the nerve to turn around.

She looks up at him and says, “is this OK?” and he nods his head rapidly.

“Uh huh.” The way the water is running over her gorgeous face and down along her curves is something to behold. He leans down to kiss her and she does that little sigh he loves and he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her into him. “Oh man” he moans, “I thought you felt good last night – _Jesus Fucking Christ…_.”

She runs her hand into his wet hair and lets her fingernails lightly travel over his neck and down his chest and her hand goes further down between his legs until she reaches his cock and wraps her fingers around him as he groans into her neck. She can feel his whole body tensing as she slides her hand up and back a few times.

“Let me make you feel good” she murmurs into his ear, giving him a little bite and his grip on her tightens. He doesn’t speak and she continues to stroke the length of him and brush her thumb over his tip making him shudder and choke back his breath. She loves how much control she has over him, she loves the way he’s reacting – eyes squeezed shut and exhaling loudly with each pass she makes.

“You’re gonna make…make me…” he can’t even speak, and he reaches to put his hand against the shower wall for support. She responds by putting her other hand on him and going hand over hand and he starts feeling that throb that means that he’s on the edge of losing all control.

“You want it don’t you – you can have it, you can have it” she’s purring in his ear and he can only whimper in response because his entire body is tensed and at the mercy of her touch and he wants to come so badly, but he also wants her to keep talking to him like this – low and seductive and so fucking hot.

She hears a sound from deep inside him and it rises up as he bucks against her and begs her not to stop and she loves hearing him come undone – the feel of him losing complete control of himself because of her. He presses his face into his bicep and cries out, cursing and gasping her name and she laps at the water running down his neck and stills her hands when he gets too sensitive.

Peter nearly stumbles back at the intensity of it not to mention the reality of what she just did. She moves her hands under the cooling stream of water to rinse them off and then places them on his shoulders and moves up to kiss him deeply. She backs away with a smile and slips back out of the shower.

**

When he comes out she’s moving around the room packing with just a towel wrapped around her. She turns and smiles at him, “how was your shower?”

He thinks he actually blushes, “uh, it was pretty fucking amazing.” She grins and keeps picking up her things as if she didn’t just get in with him and get him off. “Can we…uh hey, Lara Jean” he grabs her arm, “can we talk a minute?”

Her brow furrows and he moves her to sit with him at the end of the bed. “First of all, that was incredible – you are incredible – I’m still feeling it, honestly. I’m just a little confused because last night, right here” he nods to the bed, “you asked if we could slow it down and we did, we didn’t have sex even though we both really wanted to.”

“But…?”

“But…what you said and what you just did kind of contradict each other? So, I just want to know what the line is. I don’t want to make you feel pressured or uncomfortable but if I don’t know what the line is, I’m afraid of crossing it.”

“I’m not being fair” she starts and he shakes his head.

“No, Covey you’re not doing anything wrong…”

“Just sending mixed signals.”

“Kiiiiinda. I want to give you what you want – I was not exaggerating when I said last night if I started telling you what I want to do with you that we’d be here a while” she giggles and smooths the towel down her lap. “I like you” he says simply.

She feels her breath catch and she grins, “I like you too” and his face lights up and she feels a little weak in the knees despite sitting down. He reaches over and puts his arm around her and she rests her head on his shoulder. “Last night felt like such an intense build-up and I think I just didn’t want it to be over and done in one night. But when I woke up, I needed to give you something that you wanted.”

“Hey,” he looks down at her, “you did not _owe_ me anything, you know that, right?”

“Yes” she nods and leans back against him, “I loved making you feel like that.”

He blows out a breath, “I loved it too.”

“Yeah?” she peers up at him and he laughs.

“You getting naked and giving me a hand job in the shower? Yeah, I guess it was _OK_ ” he winks at her with a cute grin and she shoves him gently with her shoulder. “You know, Covey – it doesn’t have to be over and done in one night.”

She feels a tug of something inside her and it feels exciting and a little terrifying. It feels like she could fall for him again – might already _be_ falling for him and she’s not sure what to do with that knowledge quite yet.

They sit quietly for a moment and he moves his hand on to her knee and squeezes, “in the spirit of everyone feeling satisfied this morning, is there anything I can do for you?”

She leans back and smirks at him, “that was smooth, Kavinsky.”

He shrugs, “We’re both sitting here in towels on a bed we practically had sex in last night, I feel like I’m only asking the obvious.”

“As tempting as that sounds” she stands up, “I have to take a shower” she bends down and whispers, “I got so dirty in my last one” and she kisses him as he whimpers against her lips.

As she walks to the bathroom he flops back on the bed and hollers, “I am starting to think that you might be the devil Lara Jean Covey!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone good? 😉😘


	6. Iowa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lara Jean and Peter share an exhilarating moment, talk safe sex in a Wal-Mart and ditch the two bed rule as their social media activities attract attention.
> 
> 🚨🚨Smut Ahead!!🚨🚨

They’ve got the windows down and Peter is driving. It’s early evening golden hour light and everything feels good – they’re both happy and relaxed. She’s got her feet up on the dash with her crazy cheap shades he got her propped on her head and the massive Cracker Jacks box in the console between them that they are OD’ing on.

They are gossiping about people they knew in high school when the next song on his playlist starts and he goes quiet. Looking over at him she asks what’s wrong and he just glances at her and starts nodding his head slowly.

“Awww damn — this song Covey” he turns up the volume and all she can hear is some quiet guitar strumming. She reaches to check his phone for the title, and he holds her wrist, “nuh, uh – just wait, you’ll feel it…”

_Hello, I’ve waited here for you – everlong  
Tonight, I throw myself into and out of the red  
out of her head, she sang_

The riff gets louder and she can almost place it. Peter is grinning wildly and keeps stealing looks at her as he sings.

_Come down, and waste away with me  
down with me  
Slow how you wanted it to be and over my head  
out of her head she sang_

She’s tapping her feet and he howls, “c’mon! you know it!” and she laughs and starts singing.

“I LOVE THIS FUCKING SONG!!” he yells and starts picking up speed because he can’t help himself, this song makes him feel ecstatic and alive and kind of crazy. And it’s just that much better this time because she’s there and she’s holding her arm out the window letting the warm summer air push at her hand, her fingers tapping out the beat into nothingness. She’s giggling and singing the song with him – a song about falling so deeply in love with a girl that you are both in perfect harmony together.

_And I wonder  
when I sing along with you  
if everything could ever be this real forever_

His energy is infectious and she puts her feet back on the floor and starts tossing her head to the rhythm as her glasses slide off and he is hollering encouragement while singing and she knows he’s driving too fast and they are hyped up on sugar but it feels exhilarating like there is a shared current running through them and the honey gold sky above them, from the silent landscape flying by and the music thumping through the car and into their veins.

When the song ends Peter is hitting the steering wheel and swearing gleefully. She feels like she’s drunk – lightheaded and giddy and irresponsible. “That was…” she starts but can’t even find the words, “what _was_ that??”

“RIGHT??” he’s remembered to take his foot off the gas even though they are the only car on the road. “That was… _orgasmic._ ”

She bursts out laughing but it actually feels absolutely correct. “That is bizarrely accurate!”

He laughs, “I knew you’d know it. Everyone knows _Everlong_.”

She nods, “My dad loves the Foo Fighters. Yet another thing you can text him about” she punches him on the arm and he grins.

He slows way down and comes to a stop on the shoulder. “What are you doing?” she asks but he’s already out of the car and comes around and opens her door. “Peter?” he reaches in and unbuckles her seatbelt and then slides her legs so she’s facing him and before she can ask anything else, he’s cupped her face in his hands and is kissing her.

When he pulls back she blinks and he says, “it felt like a moment that needed a kiss” she nods like she’s still back in the kiss so he goes in again and they make out at the edge of the sky until the sun disappears.

* * *

Tommy: _Dude, Chex is blowing up my phone. What’s going on with his girlfriend? He says she’s with you in Wyoming?! WTH?_

Peter: _She’s not his girlfriend_

Tommy: _I didn’t even know he had a gf?_

Peter: _He can fuck off_

Tommy: _r u banging her?_

Peter: _Here’s an idea – u can fuck off 2!_

Tommy: _Ha ha. He sez u r not answering his dms_

Peter: _see above: fuck off, he can_

…

…

Peter: _tell him we got married_

Tommy: _????!!!_

* * *

They stop at a Wal-Mart because Lara Jean insists they need swimsuits for the rest of the pools they might encounter. He grabs the first pair of trunks he sees and goes to find her in the women’s section.

“What do you think of this?” she holds a pink one-piece to her torso when he shows up and he leers at her.

“I think I like it.”

“This?” 

“Also like.”

She holds up a few others and he finally says, “I’m going to save us some time here Covey because they’re all cute and you’re really hot so I’m going to like anything you get if it means I get to see you in a bikini.”

She blushes at him, “what about…” she pulls out a floral one piece with a frilled skirt.

He shakes his head, “I didn’t realize you were an 80-year-old woman! You hide it _so well_.”

She wrinkles her nose at him and holds up two of the bikinis. He leans his head down to her ear and murmurs, “the cream one is a killer.” He smiles as she pretends to deliberate a second longer before putting it in the cart.

They pass the intimates section and he points to a black negligee, “how about that hot piece?”

“Peter, I am not buying lingerie at Wal-Mart”

“What if I buy you lingerie at Wal-Mart?”

She narrows her eyes at him, “that is _so_ much worse.” They come to the corner of the jewelry counter and she spins around, “I know something you can buy me.”

“What’s that?” he goes over to where she’s looking down into the glass case.

“Don’t you think I need a ring? Lila does, I mean – for any future bar hops.”

He stifles a grin as his eyes scan all the glittering items below, “a wise woman did once say if you like it then you should put a ring on it.”

She giggles and holds her hand up to mimic Beyoncé’s _Single Ladies_ hand gesture. “I think these may be a bit pricey for our purposes” and she leads him to the rack of costume jewelry where they fake fawn over all the cubic zirconia.

“Ah ha!” she exclaims reaching for a white gold-plated ring with a big, glittering crystal solitaire and holds it up to him, “it will set you back a whole $19.99 though.”

He shrugs, “that’s the price of love I guess. At least at Wal-Mart in Iowa.”

She leads them to the toiletries section to get some things she’s run out of. He wanders away and when she finds him, he’s in front of the condoms. He waves a box of Trojans and she takes them and puts them back.

“We don’t need those.”

“We…don’t?”

She shakes her head, “nope.” Peter isn’t sure if she’s on birth control or if sex is suddenly off the table but then she chuckles and says, “I wish you could see your face right now. I think the word to describe it is _crestfallen_.”

“Is it a bad thing to want to be prepared?”

She shakes her head, “not at all. It’s impressive actually – and all too rare from a guy. But I’m so prepared we could have an orgy.”

“Come again??”

“My dad is a gynecologist – he doesn’t let us leave the house without a condom arsenal. You should see the traffic to my room on a Saturday night…wait, that sounded far worse than what I meant.”

Leaning over the cart he says, “I know what you meant – everyone hits you up when they’re horny. I’d like to go back to the part about this stash you have and where you’ve been hiding it this whole time.”

“Nothing was supposed to happen so I wasn’t waving around a bag full of condoms at you, _hey, look what I have here!_ ”

“And now?” He pushes the cart out from between them and steps closer to her, “that things _are_ happening?”

She looks up at him through long lashes, “Now I’ll be sure you know exactly where to find them.”

**

Later that night when they find a motel the clerk runs down their room options and Lara Jean stops him, “we’ll take the double.” As the clerk starts to input the information Peter whispers, “one bed, huh?”

She nods, “why waste our money on two beds when we’re just going to end up in one.”

He suppresses a growl, “you’re so good at math, Covey.”

Brushing her hand over his chest she sighs, “I’m good at lots of things.”

The clerk clears his throat and pushes a key towards them with directions to their room and instructions on when the complimentary breakfast is served.

**

Peter is digging through his duffle bag for clean shorts when a large manila envelope lands on top of it.

“What’s this?” he looks up a Lara Jean who has an eyebrow cocked.

“See for yourself.”

He opens it up and it’s her condom stash and she was not joking about the amount.

“Just how much sex does your dad think you have?!” he gasps as he pulls out a hand full of foil packets.

She gives him a light push on his head, “it’s not just for me! I’m supposed to share them with my friends and whoever.”

“Can I have some?” he asks and she nods, “thanks. Now I’ll be ready no matter where we are when you jump my bones,” he gives her a slow smile and feels a nice surge of heat when she licks her lips and holds his gaze.

“Are you upset we haven’t yet?”

He stands up and shakes his head, “I’m enjoying the hell out what we are doing” he puts his hand on her neck and runs his thumb over her jawline. “The kissing…the exploring…” each word he punctuates with a corresponding action. “The surprises – like what you did to me in the shower” he moves a hand to her ass and flexes his fingers and she makes a low moan. “The undressing…” he’s walking her backwards towards their bed, “the bare skin” he moves a hand under her shirt and up to edge of her bra to cup her breast and she hisses out a breath.

He gets her to the bed and she sits down while he pulls his shirt off over his head and gets a thrill at her hungry look as she glides her eyes over his body. “The thing is,” he bends down and unbuttons her top, brushing his fingertips over the sensitive skin peeking out from her bra, “this is all just foreplay, right?” her face has that now familiar glaze of desire as he pushes her down on to the bed and hovers over her, “we’re just learning allllll the things we like – all the buttons to push” he drops his hips and presses his hardness into her and she thrusts up quickly to meet him, “like that one, right there.” She is quivering underneath him, and he pins her hip with his hand and dips down against her and back up making her moan his name. “I know you like to be teased” he does it again and she is clutching at him trying to force him down to meet her body.

He lets her have her way a few times and she is finding a rhythm when he pulls back and she practically wails, her eyes screwing shut and her face flushing red, “no! I don’t like being teased!”

He smirks because she is unconvincing in her denial, “confess and you can have more” he drawls and she bites her lip and looks him in the eye.

“Tease me…please,” she pants, “I like it.”

He slowly grinds into her again, “I'll make you feel better than you ever have before in your life.” He pulls her left leg up to a bend and feathers his fingers down the back of her thigh and she clutches the bedcover and arches her back. “You like that right there, that sexy little spot” he traces the tender area where her ass curves into her thigh and she lets out a low wail that he has never heard from her before and he wants to hear a lot more of it.

He retraces his touch and she is so blissed out he understands that he can’t abuse this special knowledge, “that’s enough” he murmurs as he smooths his palm over the spot and squeezes. She protests in little hiccupped moans and he soothes her, “you’re getting spoiled.”

She shakes her head, “you _like_ spoiling me” she’s making a sexy pout and he finds he’s nodding his head.

“I love spoiling you – I’m getting _obsessed_ with spoiling you.”

She kisses him softly, taking control of the teasing but not letting him get any deeper in the kiss. She sucks on his lower lip and he breathes out a moan before she tugs it with her teeth and whispers, “spoil me more.” She wraps her legs around his hips and slows herself down even though she’s dying to go faster.

“What do you want?” she loves how thick and raspy his voice is when he’s turned on.

She takes his hand and slides it between their bodies and places it in the spot right over her clit. “Touch me” she whispers and he looks her in the eye, “please, touch me – I want it as much as you want to.”

He can feel through the material of her panties how hot she is and when he tugs them to the side and brushes his fingers against her and moves lower she parts her legs for him and she is so slick and slippery he desperately wants to tear the rest of their clothes off so he can move into her.

Her breathing instantly intensifies and he tries to maneuver so he can slide his fingers inside her to make her come even harder but she clutches his wrist in place and comes in seconds, her body surging up against him then crashing limply back on to the bed. He rolls on to his back next to her and when they turn and look at each other she looks more beautiful than he’s ever seen her look before.

“That was my favorite part of the day” she turns and smiles softly at him.

He grins and nods, “mine too” and then he lifts his hand that was just inside her panties and pops the fingers that got her off into his mouth and she watches transfixed as he sucks her off his fingers. "You taste so fucking _good_. I can’t wait to go down on you. Get you all over my face, make you come with my tongue.”

She gasps and buries her face in the bed, “oh my god” she sounds flustered and aroused at the same time, “you’d do that for me?”

“Hey” he coaxes her to look at him, “I would go down on you for _hours_.” When she still looks disbelieving he says, “you’ve – done that right – had it done to you?”

She screws up her face and says, “Ummm, sort of?”

Propping himself on his elbow he says, “what kind of answer is that? Charlie wouldn’t eat you out?”

She looks up at the ceiling, “he did – once. But he was kind of drunk and it wasn’t very good and he said he didn’t like it. There was a guy I dated the summer between high school and college, and we always sort of chickened out before we got to it.”

Peter flops back down on the bed, “talk about two of the stupidest men alive. High school guy, whatever, he wouldn’t have been any good anyway. But fucking Chex had the undeserved glory of being your boyfriend and he wouldn’t go down on you?? He’s a dumbass and it is going to be hard for me not to say that to his face the next time I have to see him.”

Lara Jean is giggling and he starts laughing with her, “I’m serious! It’s disrespectful!”

“You’re insane” she says and he grins and rolls her up against him.

“You’re having the time of your life with me and you know it.” She nods in agreement against his chest and runs her hand down to his track pants and tugs at the drawstring. “Oh, what have we here?” he says nuzzling into her hair as she plays with the string between her fingers. “Can I help you Miss?”

“Do you want to be spoiled?” she murmurs, “because I want to spoil you.”

Before he’s even responded she’s slid her hand under the waistband of his pants and found his cock and he sighs deeply at the feel of her fingers wrapped around him again. She strokes a few times before she releases and climbs on top of him, settling on his thighs. Wetting her palms with her tongue she mimics her actions from the other morning in the shower and he’s the one writhing now.

He comes as quickly as she did and apologizes with an embarrassed laugh about the sticky mess and she tentatively lifts a finger to her lips and darts out her tongue for a tiny taste. He cracks up as she tries not to scrunch up her face. “I’m sorry it doesn’t taste better.” He sits up and kisses her and she shrugs.

“I’ll get used to it.”

Peter drops his head back and exhales, “I love it when you talk dirty to me Covey.”

* * *

ChrisJ: _So how long have you been nailing Kavinsky? You two are looking all KINDS of cozy on Insta_

LJ: _We’re not having sex_

ChrisJ: _YET!_

LJ: _No comment!_

ChrisJ: _!!!!!!!! You saucy little vixen! SPILL!_

LJ: _We’re having a lot of fun…_

ChrisJ: _Don’t make me eye roll myself into an aneurysm LJ. I can see all the “fun” you’re having at diners and bars and sunsets (AND YOU MOCKED ME! NEVER AGAIN, WOMAN!!) But it’s completely obvious to anyone with functioning eyes that there’s something else going on between you two and it’s something hot and possibly filthy and I NEED TO KNOW!_

LJ: _OK fine – we are hooking up – I guess? Not sex but we’re definitely running out the clock on that_

ChrisJ: _I’m so proud I could weep rn. My little bakery girl and the lacrosse stud!_

LJ: _Shut up! He’s great, really great_

ChrisJ: _Is he Falling in Love great?_

LJ: _He doesn’t date so it’s a moot point_

LJ: _Did you know Gen cheated on him?_

ChrisJ: _Didn’t everybody know that??_

LJ: _I didn’t. And it really wrecked him. He’s afraid to commit now because of her. He was very clear that he’s only into hook-ups and not being a boyfriend_

ChrisJ: _He said this when?_

LJ: _At the start of the trip – first night maybe_

ChrisJ: _Fuck all what he said several states ago! The stuff he’s posting? That’s not a Hook-Up No Commitment Guy. If he’s not already in love with you he’s well on his way_

LJ: _How do you know THAT from Insta Stories??_

ChrisJ: _Body language! The way he gushes about you! How every pic he takes of you is through a filter of a smitten kitten! If I didn’t know the guy you were out there with I’d be less convinced, but I know Kavinsky, YOU know him – he’s devoted and sweet and when he loves he loves HARD. I’m not surprised he’s still messed up from Gen’s fuckery and chose to take very careful care of his heart. And I’m also not at ALL surprised that you would be the one he’d trust to give his fractured heart to_

LJ: _I’m sorry but I’M the romantic one in this friendship! You are the cynical one! What is happening??!_

ChrisJ: _I call em like I see em. And I see two people who are crazy about each other even if neither will admit it yet. So, GET TO BANGING (and then spill all I’m having a dry spell and need to perv out on someone else’s sex life!)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get in smutfiends, we're going to Illinois! 🚨🚨
> 
> P.S. If you don't feel All the Things when you hear "Everlong" - I don't think you realize what you are missing 😉


	7. Illinois

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotional intimacy grows between Lara Jean and Peter after he deals with a family drama and she confesses there is a love letter with his name on it; Pete and Lila make their return and the sexual tension finally erupts during a night out and a unique seduction by Lara Jean. 
> 
> 🚨🚨Smut ahead!!🚨🚨

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't tell you how much I LOVE YOU ALL for how much you also love _Everlong_!! 😘
> 
> Get your wine, your chocolate, your edibles - whatever it is you like to relax with on a Friday night after a long week of work and pandemic life because the slow burn is about to ignite!
> 
> XO 
> 
> Q

She wakes up in the middle of the night and Peter isn’t in bed. They fell asleep in a tangle of limbs so it’s odd to shift without his body draped over hers.

She turns and stretches her arm out and rests her hand on his side and is surprised to find the sheet cool to the touch as if he’s been out of the bed for a while. She looks towards the bathroom but there’s no light coming from under the door. Sitting up she says his name but he’s clearly not in the room. Checking her phone she sees he did not text her he was going out and she starts to get anxious.

Her phone says it’s 2:40AM and she texts him, _Where are you? Not out running I hope. Text me plz!_ As she waits for a reply, she hears his phone go off from the nightstand which means he is not in the room or the bathroom and he does not have his phone. She jumps out of bed and searches around on the floor for where he tossed her pajamas. His bags are still there so at least she’s assured he didn’t abandon her in the Midwest in the dead of night.

She sees his flannel shirt on the back of a chair and wraps it around herself as she shoves her feet into her sneakers and takes the key and her phone and slowly opens the door. She steps outside and is startled when she hears, “Covey, hey” in the darkness.

“Peter?” She steps out from under the light over the door and tries to remember where he parked earlier. She finally spots him sitting on a curb and walks over. “Ohmigod you scared me!” she says, “what are you doing out here?”

“Needed some air. I didn’t leave the parking lot and I’ve been facing the room the whole time. You were always safe.”

She pulls the flannel tighter around her, “I don’t worry about being safe when I’m with you, Peter.”

He looks up at her, “you don’t?” She shakes her head and he sighs, “that’s nice to hear.”

She sits down next to him, “why did you need to get out?” He drops his head and rubs his hands but he stays quiet. “Did something happen? Did I do something?”

He chuckles, “you were fast asleep, what could you have done?”

She shrugs, “snore?” and he cracks a smile, “kick you? Talk in my sleep about Jake Ryan?” he gives her a chuckle and she edges closer to him. “Hey, talk to me.”

He looks up at the sky and exhales, “it’s my dad. Being a dick. Like usual.” She knows from conversations they’ve had that he is not close with his dad and still bitter about him deserting the family when they were in high school and it’s clearly a very tender spot he doesn’t like to talk too much about.

“What particular dick move did he make that sent you out here?”

“He doesn’t want to hand over an inheritance that belongs to Owen when he turns 18 this year. Our grandmother left us each some money for college. I got mine but apparently he is trying to extend the date of when he has to turn it over until he’s 25 or something.”

“Can he do that?”

“No idea. My mom is calling her lawyer. It’s O’s money – he’s depending on it for school. What kind of prick withholds their own kid’s money to deprive them of an education??”

She feels his tension and rests her cheek against his shoulder. “How did you find out?”

“My mom messaged me. She got into a fight with him about it and was really upset. She didn’t want my brother to know. So, I of course did the rational and mature thing and started a fight with my dad over text and then I came outside to chill out because I was so pissed I couldn’t think straight and I didn’t want to wake you.”

She’s about to say she’s sorry and that it’s cruel what his dad is doing but he continues, “sometimes it feels like he’s mad at us for being upset that he left. He did the damage and doesn’t like that he still has to deal with fall-out from it. Sometimes I fucking hate that any part of me is him.” His voice breaks and she feels him start to shake against her. She lifts her face and can see that he’s trying not to cry and her heart breaks for him.

She stands up and moves behind him, bending down to wrap her arms around his shoulders. He cracks open with a small sob and she holds him while he cries, kissing the crown of his head and murmuring softly to comfort him. His fingers grasp her arms and he shudders a few times and seems to run out of tears. She keeps her grip around him, and he eventually slides his arms back to reach for her.

“Let’s go in” he says, and she nods and releases him. He stands and turns to her and she wipes his cheeks with the cuff of his shirt she’s got on and he bends and gives her a soft kiss on the lips. He takes her hand to lead her back to their room. “Oh, shit” he mutters, “did you bring the…” she brandishes the key and he grins, “what would I do without you, Covey?”

“For starters, you’d be locked out of the room” she says with a cute smile.

Inside he goes to the bathroom to wash his face and when he comes back, she’s sitting on the bed, still in his shirt. “I think in all my drama, I neglected to mention that you look scorching hot wearing my flannel.” He strips off his track pants and t-shirt and gets on to the bed with her.

She blushes and fingers the collar, “it’s cozy. And it smells like you.”

He drops his face to graze his nose over her shoulder before placing a kiss there, “that can’t be good.”

“It’s good” she sighs as he moves up to nuzzle her neck. “I like the way you smell.”

“I like the way you smell” he whispers against her throat, “and taste” his mouth is at her ear, “and feel” he slips one hand on to her neck and the other under the shirt, “aww damn, I thought maybe you were naked under this.”

She giggles, “next time you wander off in the dead of night and I have to come looking for you, I’ll be sure to just wear your shirt and nothing else.”

He growls in agreement, “in that case, I’m going to get into family fights and take off into dark parking lots more often.” He reaches her face and kisses her slow and deep, pressing her back on to the bed and laying down top of her.

“You didn’t get enough of me earlier?” she teases between increasingly fevered kisses.

“Haven’t you realized I can never get enough of you?”

**

The following morning over his breakfast of eggs and bacon and hers of a Cereal Power Bowl comprised of Fruity Pebbles, Cornflakes and Golden Grahams, he grins at her over his coffee cup. “You may want to wear my shirt today, pop the collar up.”

“Who doesn’t want to wear flannel when it’s going to be 93 degrees out?” she sasses and he laughs.

“Suit yourself. Just thought you might be shy about that massive hickey I gave you.”

She shoots her hand to her neck, “you didn’t!”

“Oh,” he smirks, “ _but I did_.”

“I’m going to get you back” she furrows her brow trying to look threatening but only looking more adorable and he leans across the table.

“I’m counting on it.”

**

“Peter” she says as they head back out on to the road. “If you want to talk more about what’s going on with your dad, you can talk to me. You don’t have to keep it inside and let it eat at you.”

He nods, “I don’t want him to suck the fun out of this trip like he does with everything else. It will be resolved somehow…it’s – whatever.”

“Well, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but it’s not whatever.”

He reaches for her across the console and finds her hand and squeezes it. She has no idea the gift she’s just given him. His issues with his dad go so far back they feel like part of his DNA at this point and for so long he’s kept it all inside him – the anger, the frustration and all the years of hurt and disappointment. He doesn’t get into it much with his mom who has her own shit to deal with his dad; he protects Owen by keeping him out of it and Gen was never much into listening to his problems or dealing with anything messy or inconvenient for her.

But in the last few hours Lara Jean Covey has gently tapped her fingers into the hard shell he’s been living inside and started cracking it with the softest touch. He feels an unusual sense of calm in this beautiful morning light with her hand in his and a bright blue sky overhead. There’s plenty more to deal with regarding his family – and with her, but for a few moments he gives in to the belief that up ahead it might not be quite such a lonely path.

* * *

“I think we should go out tonight” she announces over dinner. “Ever since we started – _you know_ – we have been neglecting the finest cross-country night life America has to offer.”

He grins at her over his burger, “ _you know_? C’mon Covey, don’t be shy, use your words.”

She bats her eyes at him and sighs, “hooking up? Fooling around? Everything but? What do you call it, what we’ve been doing?”

He takes a long swallow of beer and licks his lips, “hot as fuck foreplay” he says as he leans closer to her over the table and enjoys the flush that rises up her cheeks. She gives a little toss of her head and a half smile.

“Wow what a sweet talker you are Kavinsky. No wonder all the girls at Brown fall at your feet.”

He leans back and shrugs a shoulder, “not all the girls.” They are dancing around it and have been since they began messing around. They haven’t talked about what is going on between them or what it means. While he is wildly, powerfully attracted to her what he’s feeling for her is now far more than just physical. “There’s only one girl that matters anyway.”

She sips soda through her straw and then rolls it along her lips with her tongue and he shifts in his seat because she knows what she’s doing to him with moves like that. He never in a million years would have thought that Lara Jean Covey could be such a sexy little tease, but he’s eating up every drop she gives him.

“Take me out tonight” she says, “and maybe you’ll get lucky and get to take me home.”

***

She pulls together as sexy an outfit as she can out of the wrinkled chaos of her luggage; a frayed denim mini skirt, black lace bralette and white rocker tank which feels light and flowy. She settles on her black ankle boots because the chunky heels make her legs look long and will give her a little more height next to Peter. She pulls her hair into a fishtail side braid and puts on a little make-up for practically the first time since they left Oregon. She grabs a box from her backpack and goes out to meet Peter who is waiting at the Jeep.

“Damn,” is all he can say when she walks towards him, “sorry, no that’s not enough, _goddamn”_ and he whistles.

She does a spin for him, “how do I look?”

“You look like you should turn around and go right back inside because I am only one man and I cannot fight off every guy who is going to try to hit on you tonight.”

She brightens, “I have a solution for that!”

“A big, baggy jacket?” he jokes, “because seriously Lara Jean, if I wasn’t the one going with you, I would come after you _so hard_ the minute you walked in the place.”

She holds out her hand and in her open palm is a small box. “What’s this?” he says as she presses it against his chest. Taking it, he opens it and starts laughing, “Ohhhh, I see wedding bells in our future, Lila.” It’s the ring she had him get her at Wal-Mart. “Will you do me the honor?”

She has a sly smile on her face as she gives him her hand and wiggles her ring finger. “Why Pete, I thought you’d never ask!” he slips it on and she holds her hand up to the evening light, “Ooooh it’s so sparkly!”

He feels like he has behaved himself long enough with her looking like that and pulls her against him for a kiss and they break apart when they hear some murmuring. Looking around she starts to laugh, “Ohmigod – I think those people believe they just witnessed a real proposal.”

He looks over at them and shouts, “she said yes!” with a thumbs up and Lara Jean bursts into giggles and pulls him towards the car.

“You are an idiot!” she laughs as he starts the engine.

“An idiot with a hot fake wife!”

**

The bar they settle on is packed but the crowd is in high spirits and the music is good. As Peter predicted, lots of male gazes fix on Lara Jean as she moves through the place and he’s not shy about letting them know she’s off limits – he throws his arm over her shoulder as they wait at the bar, presses his hand on her lower back as they move through the crowd and kisses her at any opportunity.

And he’s just as fully aware that there are female gazes settling on him and he’s pretty sure Lara Jean knows it too because she’s being just as possessive about him – wrapping her hand around the back of his neck and pulling his face close to hers for a kiss or a whisper and flashing her big rock around like it’s legit.

When she spots the pool tables she pulls him towards them, “re-match!” she chortles and he sighs.

“You gonna embarrass me again, Covey?”

She gives a fast nod, “You know I am. You are so good at everything Peter, everything _except_ pool. Now, rack em up.” She winks at him and he sets the table up for her and shakes his head but he’s loving it, he loves how confident she is and how flirty she’s being. He loves the command she has of the game and how happy it makes her to beat him at it. And he fucking _loves_ when she’s bent over the table with her ass curving back in that skirt and her tank top hanging low so he’s got an eye full of black lace.

She’s lining up her shot when she feels a hand brush her hip then graze along her back and rest on her behind. Startled she looks up because Peter was just across from her but he’s not there now.

“I cannot keep my hands off you” his voice is in her ear like a growl as he gives her a squeeze and she lets out a shallow gasp.

Steadying herself she makes the shot and pockets the ball. Without straightening up she turns her head back and looks at him, his mouth dropped open at her shot. “If that was meant to be a distraction, you’re gonna have to work harder than that hot shot.”

**

A few drinks in he pulls her onto the dance floor where almost every song makes her squeal, “oooh! I love this!” and they dance close, his hands on her hips as she shimmies her arms in the air and brings them down to run her hands through his hair and onto his chest. The crowd presses in but they don’t mind as Peter pulls her into a close hold.

_So 1, 2, 3 take my hand and come with me because you look so fine and I really want to make you mine_

She likes how he moves with her and the feel of his hot breath against her neck and the way he is looking at her as he straightens up and mouths, _I said, are you gonna be my girl?_ She likes everything about the way Peter Kavinsky makes her feel, basically, and she’s been having too much fun with him to let her mind dwell on defining what is happening between them because it feels much more than just lust.

But lust _is_ a huge, massive, urgent part of it – she aligns her body to his and pulls his face to hers for a kiss. Around them bodies move and music pulses and things feel a little out of control and she wants him so much – wants to give herself to him so badly that her kiss must convey it because when he breaks away mumbling, “fuuuuuck, Covey” she just smiles softly and nods her head watching his eyes darken into the look she recognizes as one that wants her just as much.

**

When they snake their way back to the bar to get some water a girl approaches them, “hey, you want to sign up for the karaoke contest? It starts in 15 minutes!” Peter is about to decline when Lara Jean pipes up, “sure!” causing him to jerk his head towards her.

“What now?”

“Come on Peter, it will be fun!” she grins as she waves for the bartender.

“Fun for who, exactly?” he says as she signs her name on the girl’s sheet and takes the song list from her to look over. He just really wants to get her back to their room and get naked with her like, immediately. Karaoke is not high on his agenda right now, or honestly ever.

But she is determined, and he has pretty much loved every idea she’s had so he asks her what she’s going to sing and she makes him guess.

“Hmmm…well, going by your playlists I’m going to say Taylor Swift. No, Madonna. Wait – KPop, definitely KPop.”

“It’s a surprise” is all she says. “What about you?”

“I think I’ll just cheer you on” he says.

“The grand prize is $500” the girl says as Lara Jean’s eyes go wide.

“In that case I’m gonna need to study that list” he reaches for it and Lara Jean cheers loudly.

**

The contest is hilarious and entertaining, and they watch it from close to the stage, her in front with his arms wrapped around her. He rests his chin on the top of her head and leans down to whisper his opinions about the singer or the song to her and she giggles against his cheek and slips her arm up and back to drape around his neck.

When they call her name she makes a small scream, “I’m still too sober to do this!” and he laughs and pushes her towards the stage.

“You wanted this Covey, go get em baby doll!”

She screams again and kisses him before racing off where the girl from before hands her a mike and gives her instructions.

Peter is pretty sure she is going to do Madonna, no matter what she said because he has heard more Madonna on this trip with her than he possibly has over his entire lifetime. But when the music starts, he watches as she pulls her braid out and her hair falls loose around her shoulders and he’s so entranced by that that he doesn’t realize what song she picked.

In front of him, in front of everybody – Lara Jean Covey starts singing _Everlong_ and she slinks across the stage like nothing he’s ever seen from her before and he can’t believe his eyes or his ears – or his heart. “Holy _shit_ ” he exhales.

She gets into it for him. She sings it for him, _to_ him even.

 _Breathe out  
So I can breathe you in  
Hold you in  
  
_He’s staring at her in wonder and adoration and despite being in a crowd of people she’s making it feel like they are the only ones in the room. Every time they make eye contact he feels a jolt through his body. And she’s not just good, she’s fucking amazing – punching the air, pounding her chest, throwing her body into the chorus.

He realizes they aren’t alone in the room because around him people are cheering her on and singing along and the quiet girl from high school who loved baking and crafting is basically a rock star goddess and he is in complete awe of her.

_And I wonder  
When I sing along with you  
If everything could ever be this real forever  
If anything could ever be this good again  
The only thing I’ll ever ask of you  
You’ve got to promise not to stop when I say when_

The guy next to him yells over, “is that your girlfriend?”

Peter shakes his head and with a huge grin replies, “nah man, she’s my wife.”

**

She finishes on her knees at the edge of the stage and the roar that goes up as the music ends makes her cover her heated face. “I think we may have a winner here!” the hostess announces to hollers and shouts of agreement. When she looks out Peter has pushed his way to the front and reaches up, pulling her into his arms with a howl of appreciation as she laughs and buries her face in his neck.

“What the fuck was that??” he yells as he moves her away from the crowd. “You are unreal!”

She can’t stop laughing, “I can’t believe I did that!”

“You’re going to win!”

“I’m so not.”

“COVEY!”

“You still have to go” she grins, “I wanna hear you!”

“Hell, NO I’m not following that! Are you insane? You just made yourself $500 baby!”

“We’re rich!” she giggles.

**

She wins. The whole bar goes crazy when they announce it and then she is flush with cash and he is done sharing her with a room full of drunk, happy strangers and takes her hand to pull her towards the door where he leads her around to a dark corner and before they both know it he has her pressed up against the wall and they are at each other like it has been days since they’ve been allowed to touch.

He hitches her leg up to his hip and she hooks it around him as his mouth drags down her neck and bites at her shoulder, tugging the tank to the side to give him more of her skin. She thrusts into him and moves her hands under his shirt, her nails scratching over his back and urging him on.

They are all movement and fast breaths, growls and fumbles and he puts his hand up her skirt and finding the edge of her panties he teases against her wetness and she gasps and wraps her fingers around his wrist, “no” she breathes, “not that.”

He stills and looks at her, “I want the real thing” she murmurs, moving her lips back to his and loving the feel of his lips moving to a grin.

“Here??”

She tilts her head back and giggles, “god, no! We’re not doing it in an alley behind a _bar_!”

He moves back and gently lets her go, “you’re…ready?”

She pushes him away with her fingertips and starts walking backwards to the car, giving him a confident nod, “take me home and take me to bed” she drawls.

**

He can barely drive because he doesn’t want to stop touching her and each at red light he leans over and kisses her until it turns green and she has to remind him to go. They are both giddy and aroused and when they get to the motel parking lot he is out and over to her side, pulling the door open and taking her into his arms to kiss her against the Jeep in a repeat of what happened behind the bar.

She finally pushes him away from her and they run laughing up the stairs and down the balcony and she’s scrambling to unlock the door as he’s nuzzling the back of her neck and slipping his hands under her tank, making her bite back moans into the night air. Inside the room her purse falls to the floor and the door slams behind them and they are fumbling in the dark, pulling at each other’s clothes and looking for any surface to use to get more of each other.

Hitting the edge of the bed she moves down on to it and he starts coming with her, but she stops him with a lifted leg pressing her booted foot against his stomach. “Take this off” she says, and he is enthralled with the tone of her voice, the control she’s exhibiting when he has less than none. He reaches down to the hem of her skirt running his fingers from thigh to ankle where he slides the boot off and drops it on the floor. Even in the dim light he can see her wicked smile as she slips her leg down his torso and lifts the other. “Again” she commands and the sexy sigh she makes as he skims over her other leg makes gets him even harder.

He kneels on the bed with her between his legs and pulls his t-shirt off and she licks her lips, “your body…” she murmurs, “does things to me” she starts to caress his stomach.

“What kinds of things?” he growls as he unhooks the button of her skirt and tugs the zipper down in one swift move making her gasp with surprise.

“Dirty things…” she moves her hand down to his cock and starts touching him through his shorts, “you walk around shirtless all hot and sweaty after your runs…” he tilts his hips at her for more. “Coming out wet from a shower and being all warm and sturdy pressed against me at night. I have eyes – and a healthy libido you know.”

“You like that, huh?” he smirks at her as he pushes her tank up and she rises so it can come all the way off, “I’ve been turning you on?” He leaves the tank tangled at her wrists and presses her back onto the bed, “making you want me…” She nods her head and flexes her wrists, “leave it” he says, his voice firm and she shivers but obeys. “How much do you want me?” he drags his fingers down her arms and over her breasts making her arch her back into his touch.

“More than I’ve ever wanted anything…” she pants as he starts to massage her breasts and leaning down he sucks at her nipple through the lace of her bra and she cries out, “more than I’ve ever wanted anyone – god – I need you inside me – now – I can’t – I…ahhhh” she’s freed herself from the tank and thrown her arms over his shoulders to scratch along his skin. “fuck me – _right now – please_.”

Peter stills with his mouth suckling at her and now he’s the one shivering at the sound of her voice, the force of her words, the desperation of her want – all for _him_.

“I want you too, I’ve wanted you for so long” he gasps as he grabs at the edge of her bra and peels it off her, his mouth going to the other breast to tease at the nipple as she tears his shorts and boxers down and makes a long, pleased whine at the sight of his very stiff cock.

When they’re naked he leans back a moment and they both look over each other’s bodies in the streetlight lit room, “say it again” he whispers.

She sits up and wraps her arms around his shoulders and her hands into his hair, “I want you Peter, do you want me?”

He presses a hand into her lower back, “so bad it hurts…tell me again what you want me to do to you.”

She pulls away and reclines back on the bed with a finger coaxing him to follow and he does eagerly with a loud groan as she immediately snakes a leg around his hips and presses her lips against his. Their kiss is messy and hungry, and their greediness is making them sloppy as he feels himself start to prod her just a slightly – the lure of her warmth making him feel reckless.

She knows they should not go any farther without protection but he feels so insanely good – his heat and hardness that is all hers – she can’t think of anything except the sensation of him filling her and she presses into him with a huff of pleasure. He pulls back just a bit for only a moment but then shifts again and moves just deep enough into her that she is already not wanting to stop.

“We should…” his voice is husky and turns her on even more, “we should stop and get…” his hips twitch and she nods.

“I know…I know…” her lips find his and as their kiss deepens his hips are moving again and hers are meeting them in a delicious rhythm. “But it feels so incredible…” she is panting against his cheek, “we’ve waited so long…I don’t want you to stop…” They are playing a dangerous game and she knows she is instigating it, but she also has never felt so desperate for anyone in her life. She’s getting dangerously close to not caring about the consequences of their actions.

He doesn’t want to stop either. She is satin soft and exquisitely tight as he rolls his hips to move deeper inside her, her nails digging into his lower back as she moans, “yes” over and over. He’s going to lose himself in her – he _has_ lost himself in her – they are fucking without protection and it’s completely insane. “You like it too…don’t you…don’t you…yes…yes you do” she’s murmuring and he can’t argue with her, he wants to bury himself in her – he wants to come inside her and if he doesn’t get control of himself, he’s going to do just that.

“We can’t…” he slows himself with immense difficulty as she whines underneath him, “we have a crazy amount of condoms here,” he reluctantly slides out of her and sits up quickly before he can give in again. “Let’s start using them up.”

“I kind of hate you right now” she whines, “please, hurry up.”

He chuckles as he stands and glances around the room, “where’s the stash?”

“You had it last” she sighs. “Where did you put it?”

He warns her before he turns the light on by the bed, “I, um…don’t remember.”

She sits straight up, “Peter!” She practically shrieks, “please tell me you are messing with me right now even though that is very, very mean!”

He rummages through his duffle bag and then his backpack and can’t find the envelope full of condoms. “Uhhh, Covey.”

She’s off the bed and at his side, “tell me this is not happening!” She digs through his backpack. He looks up and gets an idea. He heads to the bathroom leaving her muttering on the floor tearing apart his stuff.

“What…” she looks up at him grinning above her, the envelope dangling from his fingertips. “Where were they?” she stands up.

“Buried in your massive suitcase of lotions, sunscreen, hair products and body wash” he smirks at her.

“Are you going to stand there and gloat” she steps up to him and nabs the envelope from him, “or take me to bed and fuck me?”

Peter’s eyes go dark and wild and he lunges at her, picking her up around her waist as she laughs while he carries her to the bed. “ _That’s_ what I wanted to hear again” he growls.

Their first time is fast and hard, loud and exciting and afterwards they lay side by side overheated and shuddering.

“There’s a lot of condoms in there” Peter says finally as the back of her hand rests on his chest, fingers lazily brushing over his skin.

“Mmm, I know” she sighs. “A lot.”

“We’re gonna use them all up now, you know that, right?”

She nods, “I know. I mean…” she rolls on to her side and moves her hand to his lips to trace them with her fingertips, “we’ll probably use quite a few before the sun even comes up.”

He grins against her touch and darts his tongue out to lick along her fingers and she slides closer to him. “You’ve had a lot of good ideas since the first time we got in the car” he says, “but that is the best one yet” and he slides her fingers into his mouth and gently sucks on them.

She moves her body against his and watches with drowsy eyes as his lips wrap around her fingers and even though she’s barely come down from their first time, she is already feeling that demanding growl below her belly again.

“Are you tired?” she whispers as she starts to pull her fingers out, then press back in and repeats it, transfixed by how it’s like she’s fucking his mouth and how good the wet warmth feels – how that must be a bit like how it feels like for him to be inside her.

He shrugs his shoulders and without opening his eyes he mumbles around her fingers, “I’m not tired.”

She throws a leg over him and he reaches down and pulls it higher, his hand running along her thigh and his long reach letting his fingers caress over her ass and linger over the spot where it curves down to her thighs and makes her weak. He turns his face to hers and murmurs, “are _you_ tired?” She shakes her head as he keeps the feather light stroking on her upper thigh, “what’s doing it for you?” he murmurs, “the sucking…” their eyes meet as he slows the movement of her fingers in his mouth and teases her with his tongue, “or the stroking?” he lets his nails give the slightest scrape and she squirms against him feeling licks of heat unspooling between her legs. “I wanna learn every single thing that gets you hot and keeps you naked.”

“It’s all…it’s all really good” she breathes as she drops her head onto his shoulder and starts kissing him, letting her tongue drag along in spots and her teeth bare more than once. “I need more.”

Suddenly he’s reaching behind her feeling along the mattress for the condoms they hastily spilled out in their desperation. “I know what I need” he rolls onto his back and pulls her with him so she’s laying on top. He kisses her as his hands tangle into her hair and he’s already completely addicted to the feel of her naked body, her full breasts, her hot wet sex, pressed hard against him. “I want you to ride me.”

She makes a sexy noise of assent and pushes herself up and slides herself back down. Her dark hair cascades around her shoulders and her back arches gracefully and he groans in appreciation. She gives him a sexy grin and takes the condom from his hand, “I think we can make that happen.”

“That’s good” his eyes widen as he watches her roll the second condom of the night over him. “That’s very good news.”

“Mmm hmmm” she lifts her hips and pauses at the tip of his cock, teasing them both with a few nice little slides against her clit. “Peter” she sighs as his hands grab her hips and guide her down.

“Yeah?” he says breathlessly as he watches his cock disappear in her, “yes, baby.”

Her eyes flutter and she spreads her knees out farther to bring him in deeper, “we can’t leave tomorrow.” She starts to roll her hips and her dazed eyes settle on his as her hands rest on his chest to steady herself.

“We can’t, huh?” he reaches for her waist and she picks up her pace. “Why not? What’ve you got planned?”

Licking her lips she sighs, “this…a lot of this. I love fucking you…I love it a _lot_.”

He grins and gives her nipples tender pinches making her shiver. “God that’s hot…I love it too. What took us so long?”

Shaking her head she pants, “I have no idea…we have so much catching up…Ohhhhhh!” her nails dig into his chest as he drags a hand down to skim his thumb over her clit.

“You want to come for me?” he coaxes while he plays around with her and loves the intense nodding she does, her eyes closed and entire body focused on her own pleasure. “Let me have it,” he urges as he feels himself building right behind her. “Let me have you…” she starts to climax in long, sensuous waves – he’s never seen anything so beautiful as Lara Jean losing all fucking control over him and that vision is what sends him careening into his own orgasm moments after hers.

* * *

They linger there another whole day throwing their entire driving schedule to the side to stay in bed and expend all the sexual tension they’ve been taking down the road with them. The bed, the desk, the shower, the bathroom counter – there’s no part of the room they haven’t scorched with their insatiable need to be devouring each other at any moment of the day or night.

Relaxing on the bed Lara Jean fits her back to Peter’s chest and loves how his long arm wraps fully around her waist. “I wrote you a love letter once” she says softly Peter’s voice is surprised behind her.

“You did? When? I didn’t get it.”

“I didn’t send it. It’s probably still in a hatbox in my closet at home.”

Peter makes a grumble behind her, “why not? What did I miss?”

She sighs as she runs her fingers over the dark soft hairs of his forearm. “It was after our little kiss at that party in middle school – I went home and wrote three pages about how cute you were and that your lips were the softest and you had such nice eyes and I liked you so much.”

“Aww” Peter snuffles as he presses a kiss to her shoulder, “I want my letter.”

She turns over to face him, “I was going to send it, but Gen convinced me not to.”

Peter’s head jerks back at the mention of his ex’s name, “why? What did she say?”

“She said you had a big crush on Alison Solomon and everyone knew about it, that you were about to ask her to the spring formal.”

Squinting at her Peter says, “I don’t even remember Alison Solomon.”

Lara Jean sighs, “well, I believed her and her supposed efforts to protect my heart – until a few weeks later…”

Realization hits and Peter groans, “Gen asked me to the spring formal and we started dating that night.” She nods and her hair brushes his chin and he pulls her tighter, “Goddamn. It could have been you…”

Lara Jean tilts her head back to look at him, “what could have been me? Your date to the dance?”

“Yeah, if I’d gotten your letter – if Gen hadn’t been a conniving liar and stopped you.”

“I doubt you would have asked me to the dance, Peter.”

“I would have totally asked you. I liked you Lara Jean.”

She laughs then and props herself on her elbow, “don’t say that to make me feel better. It was disappointing but I mean…I think things have worked out OK” she gives him a sexy grin and brushes her hand down his chest.

He props himself up too and rests his head in his hand, “I’m not trying to make you feel better – I had a crush on you. You were my first kiss and I wanted to ask you to the dance, but I was too shy.”

Lara Jean scoffs, “Peter Kavinsky when have you ever been shy in your _life_?”

“Oh, when there’s a quiet, beautiful girl-next-door who gives me my first kiss. And she’s so smart and kind that she seems like she’d never be interested in a loud little show-off like me.”

She’s quiet but a small smile is at the corner of her mouth, “are you telling me the truth?”

He nods, “what did we say a few states ago? Total honesty. That letter could have changed my life, Covey.”

“Why haven’t you said anything about that until now?”

He squints at her, “I guess I thought you’d think it was a line to get you to come along.”

“I decided to come on my own.” She reminds him and he nods.

“Yes, you did. Thank god.” He leans forward and kisses her, and she rests her hand on his neck. “I’m so happy we’re doing this” he murmurs as his lips start moving to her face and then up to her ear – down her neck and over her throat and she drops her head back to give him full access to her skin.

“Doing the trip? Or doing _this_?” her voice vibrates against his lips and he wraps his arm around her waist and slides her on to her back under him.

“Both…but mostly this” he runs a hand over her breast and she shifts her body with a pleased sigh, “alllll of this” he slips his hand between her legs and teases his fingertips as she instinctively bares down towards his touch. “This…” he flicks his tongue over a nipple, “I’m so happy about this right _here_.” His hooded eyes reach hers and her cheeks are pink and her tongue is tracing over her lips. He moves his face back to one side of her neck and wraps his hand on the other side and kisses her softly as she starts to clutch at his shoulders. He sucks gently at a tender spot then seals his lips to her skin and growls with pleasure as he intensifies his demand.

When her soft panting becomes louder and her nails start to dig into him, he releases and she slumps back with a soft cry and a dazed look of pleasure on her face. Touching her fingertips to the fresh bruise she smiles at him, “you’re not going to be happy until I am entirely covered in hickeys by the time we get to school.”

He nods his head and sucks in his bottom lip, “just making sure you have one to match each scratch you’ve made on my back” he smirks, and she shrieks and covers her face.

“I’m sorry I can’t help myself!” she squeals, and he laughs, falling back on the bed next to her.

“Screw apologies Covey! Each one is a badge of honor. It’s sexy as hell.”

“Yeah?” she peers out from between her fingers, “but you can’t go shirtless until they’re gone.”

“Are you kidding? I want everyone to know exactly how good I am at pleasing you.” She starts to laugh and he grabs her, “everyone witness how satisfied my woman is!” he bellows while she squirms and giggles, “I give it to her _so good_.”

“Ohmigod you’re ridiculous!” she’s smiling and he wriggles his eyebrows at her.

“Say it – say how good I give it to you…c’mon” he’s grinning at her and she sits up and tosses her hair back, fixing him with a sultry stare.

“Oh baby…” her voice is breathy and dramatic, “the things you _do to me_ ” he’s transfixed by this new attitude she’s giving him, “you’re so good baby – you’re the _best_ ” she runs her hands along her throat and into her hair like she’s getting so turned on even talking about it.

“I know you’re putting me on but it’s still really, really hot.” He sits back against the headboard and puts his hands up behind his head, “I could watch this sex kitten act of yours all day.”

She tosses her hair and flutters her eyes at him “no one has ever made me feel like you do… _oooohhhh_ ” she moans and wraps her arms around herself, “you give it to me so, so _good_. You’re the best sex I’ve _ever_ had.” she throws her head back and lets out a long seductive sigh before whipping her head around and returning to the Lara Jean he recognizes, “how was that, is your ego well fed now?”

He’s smirking at her as he nods but she also totally got him hard. “Yeah, it’s very satisfied. It appealed to my basest male instincts and I’m not proud of how turned on that got me…but I’m not going to lie about how fucking _turned on that got me.”_

Her eyes go to his groin and her lips curl up into a sexy smile, “apparently” she reaches for him and he groans as she wraps a hand around his cock, “do you want some more?” she moves in soft strokes and his hips start moving to meet her touch, “you want to hear more about what you do to me?” She moves down and slowly drags her tongue over his tip and he hisses out a slow breath. Looking up at him she bats her eyes innocently and he feels a flush of heat rush over his body.

“You like this?” the breathy sex kitten voice is back and she’s moving between giving him a blow job and mewling about how wet he gets her, how hot she is for him, “baby” this and “baby” that and lots of filthy praise about his sexual skills. It is dirty and hot and fun and he comes so hard he actually sees stars behind his eyes.

* * *

They reluctantly hit the road again and find it difficult to get very far the first few hours because after two days of acting on every sexual impulse they had, having to keep control of themselves for long stretches of time seems impossible.

“So, apparently we’re going to a party” Lara Jean is texting with her cousin Dae in Chicago who they are supposed to stay with for the night.

Peter is driving and eating a fast-food breakfast sandwich because they need to make up for lost time by skipping their usual morning diners. “What kind of party?”

She taps out another text and waits, “a Korean barbecue on the roof deck of his apartment building – oooh that sounds _so_ good. I’m more than ready for a homecooked meal. Aren’t you?”

Peter holds his sandwich out to her feigning surprise, “are you tired of our incredibly healthy and varied road food?”

“Oddly enough I am” she laughs.

“So what’s Korean BBQ like?” he asks and she starts explaining some of the dishes and describing her cousin who is a law associate at a big firm who lives with his fiancée and how her parents met when her dad was at University of Chicago Medical School and her mom spotted him at the Art Institute of Chicago and it was love at first sight.

When Peter reveals he’s never been to the city she gets excited and starts Googling things they can see while they are there. “Remember Covey, we’re having to expedite our schedule because of our honeymoon.”

“Oh, is that what we’re calling it?” she says as she puts her hand on his thigh and watches his eyes dart down to his lap and then over to her, “a honeymoon?”

“You’re wearing a ring I got you and we spent two days in bed, what would you call it Lila?” She laughs because she is still wearing the ring and she squeezes his leg and he groans. “If you move your hand up any higher we’re going to have a problem.”

She bats her eyes, “what kind of problem Pete?” and lets her nails press just enough into him to force another sound out of his throat.

“The kind that involves me skidding off the road and pulling you on top of me to make out for at least a good hour or so.”

“Mmmm” she sighs and lets her fingers run up and down his thigh, “that sounds like a good problem to have.”

Peter just shakes his head with a grin on his face, “if we’d started sleeping together earlier, we’d never had made it this far.”

She nods, “we’d still be in Idaho.”

“We’d still be in _Oregon_.”

**

Dae and his fiancée Hannah have a gorgeous contemporary apartment overlooking Lake Michigan and they give the travelers a warm welcome and a bedroom to settle into while they finish prepping for the party.

“I’m going to whip up a pitcher of G&T to enjoy pre-party but take your time – I know you’ve been driving all day and now we’re making you be social with a bunch of strangers” Dae says in the doorway of their room.

“Take a shower, have a nap” Hannah chimes in, “the only thing you have to do tonight is eat and drink and relax!”

As they close the door behind them Peter and Lara Jean just stare at each other for a moment.

“A shower sounds so nice” Lara Jean murmurs and he nods.

“So does a nap” he replies and stretches his arms over his head.

Lara Jean steps closer to him and pulls his wrist towards her, looking at his watch. “We have an hour and a half before we have to be presentable and sociable.”

He grins and wraps his arms around her, “I can shower in five minutes” he starts walking backwards towards the bed, “and you take about 10.”

She nods as he sits down on the bed and she straddles him, “that’s 15 minutes” she wraps her arms around his neck and places a light kiss by his ear, “I don’t need a nap” she murmurs and rims his ear with her tongue making him shiver as he runs a hand into her hair and the other down her back to press her harder against him.

“Me either” he kisses her shoulder and when her head falls back, he moves to her throat as her hands start tugging at his t-shirt. “I do need something though” he hovers his lips close to hers.

“Is it the same thing I need?” she says as she licks her lips and he nods.

“I think it is.” He pushes himself back until he’s reclining, and she climbs over him pressing down against his arousal as they start to kiss. They feverishly undress and slide under the covers with soft giggles and whispers.

“We have to be quiet” she says with a smirk, “it’s extremely bad manners to show up as houseguests and immediately run off to have sex.”

He is stroking his hand down her body with a sly smile on his face, “it’s also _extremely_ hot.” He parts her legs and her eyes flutter as her body starts moving against his, his fingers dipping inside her to make her tremble with pleasure as he slides in and out until he finds the speed and thrust she likes and fucks her with his fingers as the pad of his thumb takes attentive care of her clit. She is panting and turns her face to bury it against the pillow as she comes with her hand clutching at his shoulder, tears brimming from her eyes as she buries her screams.

“Covey” he whispers, his voice low and scratched as she’s come to learn is how he sounds when he’s aroused and she’s addicted to it. “That was fucking beautiful.”

She blushes and wipes her eyes. “I kept it quick so we could maximize our time” she cracks as she sits up and reaches along the bed to find one of the many condoms she watched him shove into his wallet this morning. She feels his hand go up her spine and run along her back and she slumps forward. “That feels so nice” she sighs and soon his mouth is re-tracing the path of his fingers and between these touches and her orgasm she feels as tranquil as if she’s on another plane of existence.

He brings her back down and rises above her. She tears open the condom and rolls it on him without even a glance. “You’re getting very good at that” he whispers as she guides him into her.

“I’ve had a lot of practice lately” she gasps as he begins to fill her and drops his head and starts kissing her deeply. Outside the door they can hear Hannah talking to Dae as she comes down the hall, and they make eye contact but don’t stop moving as her voice passes by their door and Peter’s thrusts intensify and she’s softly urging him on as he crests and crashes, a strangled cry caught in his throat that he buries against her forehead.

**

She’s helping Hannah and admiring their sleek foodie kitchen while Peter and Dae go to the roof with trays of meat for the grill. Hannah is sophisticated and charming and runs her own boutique design firm, and Lara Jean likes her immediately. She asks a lot of questions about their trip and where they’ve been as Lara Jean sips her gin & tonic and gazes at all the beautiful food they’re going to have.

“And how long have you two been dating?” Hannah asks, “since high school?”

Lara Jean laughs, “ah – uh, no, not since high school.” She realizes she doesn’t know how to answer this. In the last few days of the “sex haze” as Peter once called it, they haven’t stopped to define what it is that’s happening between them – a fling, a hook-up…a relationship? She hedges and then says, “it’s all pretty new, actually.”

“Wow, really?” Hannah is wide-eyed, “you seem so connected to one another. I thought you’d been a couple for a few years at least.” Lara Jean takes a big gulp of her drink and shrugs, “we grew up together so it probably seems that way.”

**

She’s a little buzzed and standing at the edge of the roof looking out into the dark expanse of Lake Michigan when Dae comes to stand with her. “It’s so good to have you here” he says with a smile, “and Peter is a real hit” he tilts his beer towards Peter who is talking to two women who have their backs to them. When she looks over, he makes eye contact with her and gives her a little nod. “That’s impressive” Dae says and she looks back at him.

“What is?”

“Well, that’s Marla and Cassidy – two of the biggest flirts in Chicago and yet your boyfriend made sure to acknowledge you the second you looked his way.”

“He’s…” she starts to say he’s not her boyfriend but whatever is going on with them, she wants to keep it between them and not expose it quite yet. “He’s a great guy.” She smiles at Peter and he gives her a little wave and she feels a happy warm glow roll through her.

“I like him. I bet your dad loves him, huh?” he grins at her and she laughs.

“My dad and Kitty and dad’s girlfriend Trina are basically in love with him. I’m pretty sure they have a secret group chat I’m not invited to.”

Dae chuckles and they turn back towards the lake. “It’s fantastic seeing you so happy.”

“Thanks” she replies with a blush, and they chat a bit until she feels a hand on the small of her back and Peter joins them.

“Mind if I interrupt?” he asks and slips his arm around Lara Jean’s waist. They all talk a bit more until Hannah is calling for Dae and he excuses himself. Peter leans down and whispers, “is it me or is being around so many people after being alone together for so long kinda weird?”

“It is a little bit of sensory overload. The city too. It’s all a lot. But…” she turns to face him, “we better get used to it because soon we’ll be at school and there will be even more people and distractions.”

Peter juts out his lower lip in a pout, “let’s not go back. Let’s stay here in that plush guest room which, I don’t know about you – but I’m feeling pretty tired right about now.” He feigns a yawn and she shakes her head.

“You want to leave the party and have sex?”

He puts his hands on her waist and murmurs, “we can just fool around, see where it goes.”

She looks up and raises her eyebrows, “you know _exactly_ where it goes, Peter Kavinsky.”

“You getting sick of me already Covey? ‘Cause I don’t want to cramp your style – those two ladies over there seemed like they’d be interested in talking to me some more” he nods towards Marla and Cassidy who are by the bar but keeping their eyes directed at him, “see where it goes” he teases.

“Well, if you want you can go have a hot three-way with them” she nods her head at the women, “or you can come for a walk with me and explore Chicago at night.”

His eyes light up, “I want to go with you.”

“You’re sure?” she teases, “they’re pretty sexy I bet they could blow your mind.”

He wraps her in a hug and gives her a slow kiss, “my mind’s already been blown. Let’s get out of here.”

**

They walk hand in hand talking and laughing as they explore different streets, finding a 24-hour bakery that serves such delicious cannoli that Peter announces, “Fuck Brown. We’re staying here and getting fat and happy on cannoli’s for the rest of our lives. Just you and me and cannolis and sex” he smirks at her as he swipes his tongue through the thick custard and she nods in agreement.

“You had me at cannoli” she coos.

When they make it back to the apartment the party has died down and they start to clean up the kitchen while Hannah and Dae entertain their friends on the roof. They sleep soundly and wake to the smell of fresh coffee and Dae tapping on the door, “coffee is ready” he says, “and when you’re caffeinated, we want to take you to breakfast, give you a quick tour before you go.”

“I love it here” Peter whispers as they lay in bed not wanting the day to start or the road to beckon. “We can do one more day, right?”

Lara Jean’s eyes widen, “you want to leave tomorrow? What about our schedule? We’re already a few hundred miles from where we should be by now.”

“Do you want to leave today?”

She’s quiet and then says, “not really, I’ve always loved Chicago. And last night was so fun, getting to discover more of it…with you.”

“Let’s stay” Peter cajoles, “we’ll drive really fast through Ohio and we won’t stop every hour to fool around.”

She grins, “we can stay, but I have my doubts we’ll stick to an anti-fooling around agenda.”

“Every _other_ hour we’ll stop and fool around” he counters, “heavy petting, no penetration.”

She answers him by crawling on top of him and kissing him hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're all still OK because we have four states left to go! Buckle up Buttercups 😉
> 
> Song: Are You Gonna Be My Girl / Jet (2003)


	8. Ohio/New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the final days of their road trip Peter and Lara Jean go on their long overdue first date and have a private celebration of a special day.
> 
> 🚨🚨Smut ahead!!🚨🚨

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK people - if you know your US geography or you are following along on a map then you realize we are not far from our final destination. I'm _beyond_ thrilled that you have loved this journey as much as I love it. I hope it has made your post-AAF week a little sweeter because sharing this with you and hearing all your lovely feedback has definitely been a highlight of mine 🧡🧡

Lara Jean is picking up dinner while Peter takes a nap. His pledge to speed through Ohio was upheld and he said he needed to sleep before he could even eat. She spots a liquor store in the same plaza as the pizza place and gets them a cheap bottle of red wine to go with dinner.

When she gets back Peter opens the door for her before she even has the key out and he’s freshly showered in a blue button-down tucked into his khakis with the sleeves rolled up and he smells like aftershave. “Hi…” she says, “I thought you were sleeping…are you…going out?” She looks around in bewilderment as he takes the box and bottle from her and puts them on the desk.

“I’ve been thinking about what you told me about the love letter you never sent me.” She nods as she puts her purse down and notices there’s a bottle with flowers in it next to the bed. He catches her glance and grins, “and I thought since we never got to have a date then like we should have, that we could kind of have one now.”

She makes a noise of surprise and gestures to the flowers, “are those for me?” He nods and goes and picks out a lily and brings it back to her, “Lara Jean Covey, will you go on a date with me?”

He looks so cute and earnest and from deep down in her memory comes a sweet spark of how intense her crush was on him back then. “I would love to.” She takes the flower and smells it and smiles. “Oh!” she cries, “I have to change, I am not date ready!”

“You look great” he says softly but she shakes her head.

“ _You_ look great. Give me five minutes.”

Peter laughs, “I have never in my life had a girl be ready for a date in five minutes.”

“You’ve never gone on a date with me, Peter Kavinsky.”

**

He was right, she takes at least 15 minutes in the bathroom and he tries not to break into the pizza while he waits for her. He’s got “Say Anything” cued up on his laptop so he can see what the fuss is about Lloyd Dobler. At their last convenience store stop he secretly bought candy and an emergency candle but had to dig inside Lara Jean’s backpack for the lighter from Chris while she was out getting pizza.

He feels a weird nervousness that he didn’t expect. They started this trip as people who knew each other, and they became a team of sorts and that developed quickly into friendship. Then they became something else and he’s not sure exactly what that is yet but knows he doesn’t want it to end. He’s gone for so long refusing to attach himself to anyone out of protection that he forgot how it feels to yearn for something – to be attracted to someone beyond a physical level.

He considers that the nerves may be because Lara Jean scares him a little – what she’s making him feel – how much he’s dreading getting to Providence and letting her out of the Jeep and having to drive away from her. Whenever he thinks of that moment, he feels an intense drop in his stomach and that scares him too.

She was someone he used to know and now she’s someone he’s starting to believe he doesn’t want to live without.

The door opens and she’s wearing a pretty pink sundress and has put the lily behind her ear. Her hair is loose around her shoulders and her lips glisten with lip gloss and she looks gorgeous.

“OK” she grins, “I am officially date ready now.”

“You sure are” he murmurs as he walks towards her and takes her hand to lead her over to the desk. He opens the pizza box and serves her slightly warm pizza and she thanks him, and looks for a place to sit. “Right over here” he gestures to the other side of the bed where the laptop is on a chair and he’s put pillows on the floor.

They eat on the floor – Lara Jean has her knees folded to the side and Peter is cross legged and they talk as the sun sets and rhapsodize about Chicago and the cannoli they already miss. “This looks like a dinner and movie date” she says as she sips on her wine in a plastic cup, “what are we watching?”

Peter grins widely and leans over to his laptop and powers it up. He turns to watch her as the screen comes on and her face lights up. “Really? Oh I’m so happy!” She shifts onto her knees and the flower falls from her hair and he reaches for it and gently puts it back and she’s watching him with her breath held.

He leans forward and gives her a very soft, very chaste kiss on the cheek and pulls away. Her eyes flutter in surprise that he didn’t do more, and he stands and pulls her up, “let’s go wash our hands and watch your movie.”

**

They sit close together with their backs against the bed. She’d squealed with delight at his candy choices and they quietly pour handfuls of M&Ms and Raisinets into one another’s palms. She realizes he’s keeping this as close to first date territory as possible, so they are just barely touching and that serves to completely distract her from watching Lloyd woo Diane Court. She finds herself shifting as if she can’t get comfortable so that their shoulders will bump, and she can whisper an apology and he can look over at her with a warm smile and ask if she’s comfy.

She decides she’ll adjust the pillows and pretend she didn’t realize how close they were to his and when she sits back their arms are touching and she suppresses a squeak of excitement. After everything they’ve been doing together the last few days, an innocent touch reminds her how delicious longing can be – how the anticipation of a glance or a touch or kiss can consume her so fully and make her body tingle with every minor point of contact.

“Can I hold your hand?” Peter whispers in her ear and she nods quickly, the smile on her lips impossible to hide. She opens her palm and he presses his into it and she feels giddy at finally having that physical connection. She wishes she could time travel this moment back to her middle school self who would be _dying_ that she was holding hands with Peter Kavinsky while sharing candy and watching a romantic movie.

**

He is on his best behavior and it is killing him. Her perfume smells like cherries and her soft skin is beckoning him to stroke his fingers over her bare arms but he wants it to feel like it would have back then – back when they would have been shy and awkward with one another, all shifting feet and anxious giggles. When one of their parents would have had to drive them to the theater and his fingers would have nervously rubbed at the money in his pocket his mom gave him to treat Lara Jean to popcorn. He’s found himself resenting Gen ever since Lara Jean told him about the unsent letter. He likes to think he would have acted on it as soon as he received it. That he would have called the Covey house and politely asked if he could speak to Lara Jean and invited her to a movie while praying his changing voice didn’t crack as he asked.

But there’s a sweet tension in the room because he is sure she is feeling the same way. He feels it in the way she’s squirming around bumping into him and lingering where their skin touches. It’s how eagerly she gave him her hand to hold and didn’t let it go even to get more candy. Towards the end of the movie she puts her head on his shoulder and he feels such pure joy at the gesture that he rests his against it and they stay that way until the end.

“Did you like it?” she whispers, and he nods against her hair.

“I did. I get it now.”

“Do you love Lloyd Dobler too?” she giggles.

“I mean, how can you not?” he laughs, and she squeezes his hand. They are both quiet and he reluctantly sits up to close his laptop leaving the only light the candle on the nightstand above them.

“What time is your curfew?” Peter asks looking back at her and loves the furrowed brow she gives him. “I don’t want you to get in trouble with your dad.”

She gets it and tells him, “11PM” and he squints at his watch in the dark and shrugs.

“I’ll get you home in time.”

“OK” she nods. “What should we do until then?”

The question hangs in the air between them and Peter shifts himself closer to her. “You were my first kiss” he says as he looks at the floor and then lifts his head enough to look up at her from hooded eyes, “maybe you could be my second too?”

Her heart is thrumming as she nods and wets her lips. “You’re my second too.”

“Was I your first?” he murmurs as he gets closer to her, his eyes fixed on her mouth as he reaches a hand towards her face.

“Yes” she leans forward and he touches his lips to hers softly cupping her face as she puts one hand over his and another on his shoulder. “That was nice” she murmurs when he pulls away. “Can we have a third?”

* * *

Peter keeps getting notifications as she’s driving. He’s swiping through and typing messages non-stop for at least 20 minutes. She’s been talking but he seems distracted by his phone and she’s starting to get irritated – and slightly jealous with memories of Eloise Mitchell and the argument they got into about her messages all the way back in Utah.

“Is everything OK?” she finally asks, hoping that she has masked the tightness in her voice. “You’re sure getting a lot of messages.”

He nods, “it’s my mom and brother…and Tommy…”

“Oh. OK then.” She is tapping her fingers in a decidedly non-relaxed way and he finally looks over.

“Is everything OK with you?”

“Mmm hmmm.” She nods. “I’m _great_.” No mistaking the tightness this time. Their date night had been so special and romantic. They’d moved to the bed and just kissed and kissed like they were still two kids too shy to do more. Until of course they had driven themselves so wild they accelerated from middle school date to “high school date” and had sex.

But even that had been different than before – she’d felt there was a deeper connection than the other times, like they were sharing the exact same intense feelings for each other at the same time. Except now it seemed like Peter was more enthralled with texting and possibly even setting up hook-up plans with Eloise the closer they got to Providence. And she is getting pissed.

“Hey” Peter takes her hand that is grasped to the steering wheel and presses his lips against the back of it. “It’s been almost an hour since we did anything dirty to one another. We may need to find a place to stop soon and make out.”

“I’m good” she says, short and not so sweet.

“Really?” he nuzzles his nose into her hand and nips at a knuckle between his teeth. “Not even for my birthday?”

Lara Jean spins her head towards him, “what are you talking about? It’s not your birthday.”

He’s smirking as he puts her palm on his cheek and turns his face so she can feel his scruffy five o’clock shadow. “But it is. That’s why my phone is blowing up.” He waves his phone at her.

“Why didn’t you say anything?? How was I supposed to know it was your birthday?”

“You weren’t” he laughs and kisses the heel of her palm before releasing her hand and glancing back down at his phone that is still going off. “But now you do so you can stop being jealous.”

“I was not being jealous!” she sputters, “you just were being a little rude.”

He slouches back into his seat, “protest all you want but I know a jealous girl when I see one. And it looks good on you. But then again, everything looks good on you, and off of you on the floor next to the bed…”

She wants to be annoyed but she can’t – he’s got her blushing and he knows it. “I can’t believe I’ve known you basically my whole life and I never knew when your birthday was!”

“Why would you? It was always before school started.”

“I guess my invites used to get lost in the mail then” she teases and it makes him laugh.

“Sorry you missed all my Han Solo themed birthday parties” he deadpans, “for some reason I thought you wouldn’t be super into that.”

“We should do something! It’s your birthday Peter, we should celebrate.”

“There’s still a lot of miles to cover today. We can do something when we get back to campus.” He says this with the hope that it sounds like it’s a plan that needs to be made – an assurance that they’re going to be spending a lot more time together at school.

**

“Close your eyes” she instructs as he’s sitting on the hood of the Jeep in the motel parking lot.

“Is something kinky about to happen?” he says as he follows orders, “because that would make this a really awesome birthday.”

“Open them.”

He does and she’s holding out a tray of Hostess cupcakes in one hand, and the emergency candle from their date in the other. “I’m having to improvise” she giggles as she looks from hand to hand. “And you’ll have to make your wish soon because the candle is almost gone and it’s getting kind of hot to hold.”

He laughs and blows lightly so he doesn’t splash any wax on her, and she makes a sweet little “yay!” and puts the candle down.

He takes the cupcakes out and hands her one and she holds it up, “Happy Birthday Peter Kavinsky, I’m happy I get to celebrate with you – even though you were a jerk about telling me it was even your birthday.”

They tap their cupcakes together and he laughs, “you need to work on your toasts, Covey.”

She takes a bite and says, “a little rough?” with a smile and he grins back at her. He can’t think of anywhere he’d rather be in the world on his birthday than sitting on his car in a parking lot in upstate New York with Lara Jean Covey and some $1.99 convenience store cupcakes.

“This isn’t quite a Utah view” she sighs as she licks crumbs from her fingers.

He squints up at the sky, “No, that will remain hard to beat.” They are both quiet and Lara Jean has pulled her knees up and is resting her crossed arms and head on them. “I couldn’t believe you asked me to kiss you that night” he says finally, his voice quiet.

“That was more surprising than the pot?” she peers over at him.

He laughs, “the pot was a shocker, no lie. I’d wanted to kiss you again so badly that when you said it, for a second I thought my altered state was messing with me!”

She looks back out into the dusky night, “when did you first want to kiss me?”

He blows out a breath and looks up, “remember when you sat in my kitchen and made a list of rules about this trip?”

“Of course.”

“As soon as you said, ‘nothing can happen’ I wanted it to happen.”

She laughs, “knowing you couldn’t kiss me made you want to kiss me?”

“Absolutely. I was attracted to you and you drew a line and that just made you _more_ attractive.”

“You like girls who play hard to get?” she scrunches her nose at him, and he extends his arm and wraps it around her, pulling her close into his side.

“You weren’t that hard to get” he teases as she gives him a gentle elbow in the side. “You wanted to be got.”

“Oh my god” she giggles, “you are full of yourself.”

He nuzzles her hair and down to her ear where he nips at the shell of it and she shivers against him, “am I wrong though? We didn’t even make it halfway across the country without sleeping together.”

He can feel her skin warming and he strokes his fingers slowly over her waist making her sigh. “we should go in…it’s getting chilly” she murmurs. “We can finish celebrating inside.” She slides out from under him and down the hood. When she reaches the ground she puts her hands on her hips, “for your present I’ll play hard to get, and you can chase me until you catch me.”

He hops off and gives her a huge grin, “that sounds like the sexiest birthday present ever.”

She starts walking backwards to the room and gives her lip the hottest little bite and he groans out loud right there in the parking lot. “You better run Covey!” he starts to jog towards her, and she turns with a shriek of laughter and runs towards their room.

**

A huge clap of thunder wakes them both up and lightning bright enough to break through the edges of the drapes illuminates the room. “Wow that is loud” Lara Jean mumbles.

“Definitely if it woke you up” he chuckles. She’s enclosed in his arms and he rubs his hand over her back as the rain comes down in sheets outside.

“Happy Birthday, I got you a thunderstorm.” She nuzzles into his neck and he smiles.

“Just want I’ve always wanted.” He kisses the top of her head and down to her shoulder and she sighs. “You like that, huh?” he whispers and she nods so he kisses it again and lifts her hand from against his chest and kisses his way from her open palm, down her wrist and along the soft skin of her inner arm.

Another crack of sound over their heads and she rolls on to her back and flings her arm over her head. In the burst of light that follows he can see her spread out before him like an offering – dark hair splayed around her gorgeous face, full lips parted – she has no shyness about her exposure to his heated gaze and he reaches to touch her face and then trace a gentle path over her jawline and down her throat. When he reaches her collarbone she makes a tender moan and he leans down and brushes his lips, then his tongue at the same spot and drifting lower he sinks his mouth around the flesh of her breast and she makes a much louder moan.

He covers her body with his and she gives him a slow, sexy smile. “Hi” she whispers before he kisses her and there’s something about the languid way his tongue is sweeping around hers with the backdrop of the ferocious sounds of the storm that makes her skin tingle and constrict. But then he moves down her body and is spreading her legs and she is shifting herself open to him and he groans low and deep as soon as he tastes her. She feels the sound as if it’s entered inside her, moving through her veins and saturating her cells and it makes her feel like she is tethered to him by a single flawless note.

Of course she wants more – she tells him – urges him with her words and the way she grasps through his hair and arches her hips up and he indulges her in every way he possibly can – tasting her, teasing with his lips and mouth – gentle kisses along her inner thighs and slow deep thrusts inside her with his fingers. His tongue traces around her clit until she is mewling and he swipes over it slowly, over and over again until she is keening and twisting and he holds her hip to keep her in place so he can stay right there until he brings her to the beautiful end.

The storm is moving away when he lifts his head from his feast and kisses over the tops of her trembling thighs, brushes his hand against her stomach heaving with her panting breath. She has a hand tangled in his hair and he rests his head on her stomach and enjoys feeling her body calm down beneath him, her breath even out as outside the rain changes from wild to gentle just like the energy between them.

She manages to take the ounce of strength he left her with and pull the sheet to cover at least part of him. She won’t be awake for much longer but while she is, she lazily massages her fingers against his scalp, and he makes a pleased sigh and falls asleep with his head heavy on her belly and her hand enclosed in his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two states to go! We got this!


	9. Massachusetts/Rhode Island

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final hours of the trip have Peter and Lara Jean tongue tied and worried about what happens when they get back to campus while a few days separation - and several road blocks to a reunion - make it clear to both of them where they stand with their feelings about the other. The college crew make their first appearances and Charlie and Eloise don't go down without a fight but Pete and Lila didn't come to play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know about you but I feel like we've ALL been on a road trip together this last week!
> 
> Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love of this story. As I mentioned at the start it is my favorite Covinsky universe I've created and I held on to it for a long time and now realize that waiting until the last movie was exactly the right moment for it to be shared. I am so grateful for your comments and thoughts about it and I hope you feel like we leave Pete and Lila in a good place.
> 
> Because - as also previously mentioned - I can't get enough of these two so there are further adventures to be explored:
> 
> Part II: Something I Can't Live Without  
> Part III: I'll Be There Time and Place  
> Part IV: And I Promise I'll Never Walk Away
> 
> I'm working on Part II and hope to have it to you this spring. There are other one shots separate from this universe to tide you over until then.
> 
> You're all the best,
> 
> XO 
> 
> Q

They are less than a day away. They can make it to Providence today and in fact, must make it because they are so many days behind when they said they’d arrive that Peter is on the verge of missing a mandatory lacrosse team training and Lara Jean’s friends are getting antsy about starting to decorate their suite with her.

Getting out of bed felt like swimming through heavy water and they packed up their things silently. Both had a lot they needed to say yet neither could find the words to say it. Everything had changed so much since they first got in the Jeep back in Oregon and now with only a few hours left in their journey, it felt like hundreds of missed opportunities over thousands of miles to share what they were feeling.

“You haven’t gone for a morning jog in a while” Lara Jean finally breaks the silence as she finishes pulling together her backpack.

Peter chuckles, “I’ve been a bit distracted by my sexually voracious driving partner” she blushes and turns back to packing. “Sex is great exercise although not exactly the kind of conditioning my coach wanted me to be doing to prep for the start of the season.” She looks back at him and he can’t read her expression, “I’m not complaining though. You are _way_ more fun than running.” She smiles and drops her bags at the door.

He takes another look around the room – her general messiness made him be the “final check” partner in all their motel rooms and it’s one of their last traditions of this trip. “We stopped asking about favorite parts of the day a few states ago” he murmurs.

He hears her sigh, “I think that’s because all our favorite parts of the day were ending up the same ones.”

He nods, “you’re probably right.” They both stand at the door with their luggage, “what about tonight I text you to find out your favorite part of this day?”

She smiles softly and nods, “I would like that very much.”

**

They pass through Massachusetts and the conversation they did strike up over breakfast runs out of fuel. Peter is driving but he doesn’t have a playlist going – just the radio playing random songs that fade out as they move farther along, Lara Jean flipping through channels to find the next song to fill the quiet of the car.

She keeps her face turned to the window as she feels like she might cry and when he reaches over and quietly takes her hand, she does let a tear fall. It has been a weird, exciting, beautiful little bubble they’ve been living in and now it’s about to land in Providence and pop. She squeezes his hand and he clears his throat.

“I’m half tempted to turn this car around and just drive somewhere else, anywhere else…with you.” He says, “motel room living isn’t so bad, and I think we’re pretty good with diner food by now.”

She cracks a smile and nods, “as the semester intensifies, if you want to take a ride to get away from it all – I’m your girl.”

Peter takes a deep breath, “I’d like to see you Lara Jean…more of you after this.” It is not the suave romantic thing he thought about saying but the anxiety he’s feeling about being away from her is fucking up the words from his brain to his head. “If you want to.”

“Yeah” she says quickly, fast enough to make him grin, “I was going to say we should definitely do something this weekend.”

Peter deflates a bit – it’s Wednesday. The weekend is two days away and he’s spoiled by getting to spend 24/7 with her. But he nods enthusiastically, “yes, absolutely. Let’s plan that. Awesome.”

Lara Jean’s phone starts to buzz and she gets distracted by her suitemates quizzing her about when she’s arriving and sending her photos of things they picked up at Target for their suite.

**

He pulls up to Lara Jean’s dorm and kills the engine. “Home sweet home” she murmurs. “I guess moving day is here.”

They get out and start unloading her stuff and she assures him her friends are coming to help her move it all in and he should get going so he doesn’t get kicked off the team for being tardy to his meeting.

When all her things are on the sidewalk Peter closes the trunk. “I’ll clean the car out tomorrow and if I find anything of yours…”

“You know where to find me!” she says laughing with a nod to the building behind her.

“I do, although you didn’t tell me your suite number, so I’ll have to bang on each door until I get the right one.”

“308” she says, “I’m in 308. Technically 308-A because there’s four rooms and I’m in the A room. But you don’t need to know that to get into the suite of course, I mean, obviously.”

He smiles at her nervous babbling, “Cool, thanks.” They stand awkwardly for a moment and then he pulls her into a hug. “I’m pretty confident your favorite part of today is going to be that last Kavinsky Classic Breakfast Cereal Power Bowl you had this AM.”

Her giggle is muffled against his shoulder, “maybe. It was pretty tasty.”

He kisses the top of her head and she presses her hands against his back. “Thanks for coming Covey, this trip was…”

“I know” she pulls back and looks up at him, “I’m glad I came too.”

“Yeah?” he asks softly and her smile is warm as she nods.

“I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

Her eyes are inviting him closer so he tilts down to kiss her but doesn’t reach her lips because someone says, “there you are! Fucking finally!” He recognizes the voice but before he can even turn to see the speaker Lara Jean is pulled out of his arms and wrapped up in a hug from Charlie. Fucking. Cotter.

“I have missed you!” Charlie is exclaiming as Lara Jean stiffens in his arms, “I called your house the other day and your sister was less than helpful about where you were or when you were getting here.”

Kitty. Peter loves that girl.

“Hey man” he finally releases Lara Jean and reaches out to grab Peter’s hand, “thanks for getting her back here in one piece. I was starting to think about calling the FBI on you for kidnapping” he gives him a grin and Peter feels such an urge to punch him he actually curls his fingers tightly into his palm. Lara Jean seems to be speechless and Peter reluctantly gives him his hand and can feel the warning grip Chex is giving him.

“How’ve you been Chex? Up to no good like usual?” he says, his voice tight as Lara Jean’s eyes dart between the two guys.

“Best behavior your honor” Chex makes an exaggerated salute and looks over at Lara Jean, “just happy to have this girl back.”

Peter feels himself advance towards him but catches Lara Jean’s eye and stops. She looks like she wants to disappear, and he definitely does not want to have their last minutes together spent with him pounding Chex’s smug face into the sidewalk.

“Peter” she says finally, “you’re going to be late for practice.”

He nods, “right, I guess I should go.”

“Don’t worry buddy – I got all this covered” Chex gestures to Lara Jean’s stuff. “I’ll catch you later, yeah? Come by and see you and Tommy this week, we’ll hang.”

Peter gets into the Jeep and watches through the window as Lara Jean says something to Chex. His phone has multiple notifications of increasing urgency from his teammates about getting to practice and glancing at the clock he has no time to change but will have to go straight there.

Lara Jean looks up and gives him a little wave and he waves back and puts on his turn signal. As he’s pulling out the last thing he sees is Chex with his arm swung over Lara Jean’s shoulders and Peter slams the steering wheel, “ _motherfucker!_ ” he hollers into the empty car. Of all the times he envisioned having to leave Lara Jean at her dorm he never once anticipated her slimy ex being there to lay claim on her the second her feet hit the ground. The desperation he feels is enough to make him lose several more minutes in the parking lot of the playing field contemplating going back, then his friend Patrick bangs on his window.

“Nice of you to show up Kavinsky, now get out of the car before we get our asses handed to us.”

**

Lara Jean is ensconced in the living room of her suite with her three best friends Neeta, Hailey and Brooke and she’s giddy at being reunited with them. They have wine and cheese and cookies and kettle corn and their rooms are a mess but they are a tangle of limbs all crashed on their big couch – laughing and recounting their summer adventures, scrolling through each other’s camera rolls to find out what each has been up to.

Charlie’s ambush had been short lived as her girlfriends had arrived soon after Peter’s Jeep disappeared, and they let Charlie know that they didn’t need any help getting Lara Jean moved in. She loved them for it and intended to text Peter that she was sorry they didn’t get to have a better goodbye – but then the rest of her day was a whirlwind of moving and shopping and unpacking and giggling and more than a little wine.

She didn’t know what Charlie’s intentions were, but she certainly felt the tension between him and Peter. She’s watched enough nature specials to know what it looks like one male is attempting to assert dominance over another. She’d wanted to run to the driver’s side of the Jeep and lean in and give Peter a long, deep kiss in front of Charlie so it was clear which male she preferred, but the heaviness of his arm on her shoulders kept her in place and she didn’t want to make Peter any later than he already was.

When she sees Peter’s name on her phone screen, she swipes at lightning speed.

Peter: _How was moving day?_

LJ: _Busy, messy, currently strewn all over the floor. Are you still on the team??_

Peter: _Still on the team. Just barely!_

LJ: _Phew! I was so worried I’d get you fired_

Peter: _Nah. Got a lecture, but whatever, I had a good reason for being late_

LJ: _Your roommates happy to see you?_

Peter: _Very. Apparently, our only cookware was in the Jeep, so they’ve been eating like savages until I showed up with a frying pan. Idiots_

LJ: _Ha! They do know there’s a Target not too far, right??_

Peter: _Boys, Covey. What can I say_ 🤦♂️

She starts a reply three different times but after all their time together, communicating over text feels strange and removed.

Peter: _So tell me what was your favorite part of the day?_

She smiles because he remembered.

LJ: _I had a pretty great breakfast…_

Peter: _Aww yeah, I knew it!_

LJ: _BUT…seeing my girls was the best part – I didn’t realize how much I’d missed them until we were in a group hug out front squealing like 10-year-olds_

Peter: _Awww…I wanna be mad that it’s not the cereal, but I can’t be at that answer_

LJ: _What about you, what was your favorite part of the day?_

Peter: _I had a really good pizza for dinner – at Sergio’s_

LJ: _OHHHH!!! You did?! How was it??_

Peter: _PHENOMENAL_ 😋😋

LJ: _I TOLD you!! I’m so jealous! What did you have?_

Peter: _The Ultra Supreme_

LJ: _Damn, Kavinsky! You went hard!_

Peter _: The hardest. Everything you said was correct and I humbly apologize for my inferior knowledge of the Best Pizza in Providence and bow to your wisdom_

LJ: _I will accept that apology – over a Sergio’s pizza which you owe me for going there without me for your first time_ 😠

Peter: _You are ON for a pizza and apology date. Name the time and day and my chariot awaits you_

LJ: _Yay!_ _🎉🎉_

Peter: _I should go – I’m fucking wiped from driving and practice and ingesting a massive amount of pizza and more than one but less than four beers_

LJ: _And you have to get up early tomorrow to start running again_

Peter: _Don’t remind me. Good night Covey – it’s weird not saying that to your face_

LJ: _I know, it will take some getting used to. Good night Peter_

**

Peter has trouble sleeping. He was too tired to make the bed so his sheets are just thrown on and tangled around him. He misses Lara Jean. He misses feeling her warm body next to his and listening to her soft breathing as she sleeps. He wants to see her dark hair splayed over his pillowcases and her sleepy eyes blinking at him as she wakes up in his arms.

He picks up his phone and scrolls through photos of their trip. The first few are just food and random shit from the drive or places they’d stopped. Then there was the night they got stoned in Utah and she appears in their first selfie during the sunset, then the shot that he loves of her gazing at him as she lay on the hood in the evening glow. After that she started letting him take more pictures of her, post them and tag her and they’d comment back and forth, usually while sitting right next to each other. He likes to think she was doing it to piss off Chex. He knows he definitely was, but mostly, he liked that they were creating a history together, one with images to go with the memories of all the truck stops and scenic overlooks, motel pools and bizarre roadside attractions.

He laughs out loud in the dark of his room at the selfie they took at the water park that they got to on a day it was closed for contamination – their heads pressed together with matching expressions of exaggerated sorrow that they couldn’t spend a few hours playing hooky from their driving obligations on massive water slides and shimmy up to the underwater snack bar that Lara Jean couldn’t stop talking about as she looked up the place online.

It’s Thursday – albeit just barely Thursday so he decides he’ll post the picture as his #TBT and captions it:

 _when you just want to jump the line of little kids waiting for the Aqua Drop, but a dash of e. coli ruins the fun for everyone_ _#roadtripmemories #lila_

* * *

In the morning he wakes up disoriented about where he is having slept in dozens of different beds for the last few weeks and because he’s waking up alone. He checks his phone and feels a wave of disappointment that there’s nothing from Lara Jean – no text or response to his Instagram post. He rubs his eyes and rolls out of bed, deciding he better get back on his running schedule or he’ll get more than a lecture from his coach.

When he gets back Tommy and Tony are both awake and eating Pop Tarts and drinking coffee. “Hey, there are pots here now guys, you can cook regular food like adults.”

“Will you make us breakfast?” Tony asks, “you make really good eggs.”

Peter pours a cup of coffee, “I make fucking amazing eggs, but I’m not making you eggs.”

“Why not?” Tommy moans, “we had to wait so long for you to get here with all your shit the least you can do is cook us breakfast.”

“I’m not making you eggs” Peter starts as he goes to the fridge and opens it, “because we don’t have any eggs, dumbass” he gestures to the fridge that so far has mustard, ketchup, a half-drunk bottle of water, two containers of take-out and a six-pack of beer. “Guys, we are going to the store. This is depressing. It looks like sad old bachelors live here, c’mon.”

They pile into his car and Peter feels a pang as he looks over and Tommy is sitting in the passenger seat, not Lara Jean. “What are these?” Tommy asks, producing the loud, cheap Ray-Bans he got to cheer her up after she told him about her history with Charlie.

“Those are Lara Jean’s” he nabs them from his hands and slides them onto his visor, “she must have forgotten them.”

“Are you going to fill us in on this epic road trip with her?” Tommy asks, “the one that got you here way late and had Chex on high alert?”

“Yeah,” Tony leans forward from the back, “you mentioned her a dozen times at that pizza place last night. Fill us in bro.”

Peter shifts in his seat, he doesn’t want to go into this with them just yet because he wants the chance to talk to Lara Jean first. But he does want to know what Chex was thinking.

“Chex was there when I dropped her off. How did he know when we were arriving? Did you tell him?”

Tommy shakes his head, “I may have said you were getting here this week, but like, I didn’t know a time.”

“Did he talk about us?”

“He got pretty pissed about you not answering his DMs and then she stopped replying to him and that really got his panties in a wad.”

Peter smirks and thinks _good._ “Well when she and I put our Chex stories together, they didn’t paint a pretty picture.”

“I bet” Tommy said, “when he started hollering about you being with his girlfriend, I was like _wtf dude, you have a girlfriend? Since when?_ ”

“She’s _not_ his girlfriend” Peter asserts. They are driving past the street that he took to get to her dorm yesterday and his hand itches to reach the turn signal, but he keeps going.

“Is she yours?” Tony leans forward from the back and Peter slips his sunglasses on and looks up at him in his rearview.

“I don’t kiss and tell, Antonio.”

**

Later when he is cleaning out the car in addition to her sunglasses Peter finds her missing ear bud, a scrunchie that she thought she’d left at a motel in Nebraska, and a lot of stale Cracker Jacks. He lines them all up on the back seat and goes to take a picture when he sees a notification from her on Instagram. He quickly swipes through and breaks out into a smile,

_A total waste of a perfectly good $7.99 Wal-Mart bikini! #roadtripmemories #pete_

He can’t stop himself from immediately replying in the comments, _Hey, you got good use out of SOME bright and shiny things from that W-M!_ 💎 Then he snaps a picture of her stuff and texts it to her. He’s just finished emptying the rest of the Jeep when she replies

LJ: _No message. Is this a demand for ransom? What do you want? I’ll give anything to have my Ray-Bans back!!_

Peter: _Finders keepers, losers…you know the rest_

LJ: _That’s low Peter. And it’s probably all still there because YOU failed to do your “final check”!_ 😢

Peter: _That is…probably true. If you want it back, I can come by tonight and return them to you over pizza and apologies…_

There’s a long pause as he waits for her reply. He sees the time and realizes it has been almost 24 hours since he’s seen her, and the weekend is still another 24 hours away and he feels an incredible ache for her.

LJ: _I can’t tonight. I’m sorry! Are we still on for the weekend? Can be something other than pizza. Maybe we can find a water park nearby…_

He swallows his disappointment along with the urgency to know what she’s doing tonight so he can be sure it’s not with Chex.

Peter: _My car, myself and my swimming trunks are always at your disposal Miss Covey_

* * *

Charlie wants to see her. He keeps texting and sounds like he thinks they are still together – or that by acting like they are, he’ll will it back into being. She doesn’t have to make excuses not to see him – she’s busy with working on her room and the suite and getting her volunteer job for the semester set up. In the evenings her friends want to hang out and have fun and more people are arriving at the dorm and there always seems to be something going on.

She wants to see Peter. She realizes how much she misses him when she not once, not twice, but several different times brings up a joke or story from the trip to one of her friends who look at her funny. “Is this a Peter thing?” Neeta asks after she does it once again and she nods. “You sure have a lot of Peter Things” she adds, “Maybe you should do something about that.”

In the kitchen Brooke makes kissy noises and Lara Jean blushes, “I’m planning on it – if I ever find the time…” her phone buzzes and she looks down, “Ugh – and if Charlie ever stops pestering me.”

“Oh my god, fuck him.” Neeta spits.

“Yeah, FUCK HIM! But not literally, because he is T-R-A-S-H” Brooke sings as she blends them all smoothies.

“He wants to take me to dinner tomorrow night” Lara Jean sighs, “I think I should go and get it over with. Tell him we’re done for good.”

“The only reason to tell him in person and not by text is so you can watch his face crumple and make him cry when you describe in vivid detail how you and Peter were banging each other’s brains out all the way across the United States of America” Neeta says.

Brooke joins them with their smoothies and a flask of rum that she pours generously in each and swizzles with a straw before handing them over. “Yes! Talk about all the mind-blowing orgasms he gave you and wax poetic about the size of his dick – guys hate to hear about other guys being bigger than them because they are insecure…well, dicks.”

“Oooooh yes! Do that, guys HATE it!” Neeta squeals as Lara Jean averts her eyes to the smoothie glass, a blush rising on her cheeks. “Lara Jean,” Neeta coos, “why are you turning red and not looking at us?”

“Look at her!” Brooke giggles, “I think our girl may be a size queen” she teases and Lara Jean chokes on her smoothie.

“You two need to stop!” she coughs, “I shouldn’t have told you anything.” But her friends are laughing, and she can’t help but join them even though she is slightly mortified.

“We are just thrilled that you have seen the light about Charlie and if it took a well-endowed hot jock with killer bedroom skills to shine that light, then we’re all for it.”

Lara Jean smothers a pillow over her face, “I am never telling you two anything ever again!”

“She’s _totally_ going to tell us everything” Neeta says.

“Oh yeah, absolutely” Brooke nods. “Honestly, I can’t wait. It’s gonna be so hot. Like free porn for us!” The two make sizzling noises as Lara Jean groans into the pillow.

* * *

On Friday his roommates decide they are having a party that night. This is in direct conflict with his increasingly desperate need to see Lara Jean and his hopes that it would be tonight and he voices his objections.

“OVERRULED” Tony hollers, “housewarming party tonight so we can go to Poker Night tomorrow.”

“And sleep it all off Sunday” Tommy adds.

Peter blows out an annoyed breath, “well, do I have to be here for it?”

His roommates look at each other and back at him, “uh, yeah. You have to be here. What’s so important that you want to miss our first party of junior year?” Tony asks.

“You want to see that girl, don’t you? Just invite her.” Tommy says.

Peter is not just craving seeing her but being alone with her again and does not want their plan to get together to be hijacked by this fucking party.

“If I invite her, you can’t invite Chex.” He says, pointing to Tommy, “I don’t want him near her.”

Tommy groans, “so I just tell my friend ‘no, you can’t come because my roommate has it bad for your ex’?”

“I don’t care what you say, but I’ll be here and Lara Jean is invited and he isn’t, do we have a deal?”

The boys exchange a look and then nod in agreement and Peter eagerly grabs his phone to message her.

**

Lara Jean is out for a run. She doesn’t run and in fact kinda hates running and avoided it for the whole trip even as Peter was mostly diligent about doing it every day. But Hailey runs and Lara Jean asked if she could come and all three roommates turned and looked at her as if she’d grown a second head, “you want to go running?” Hailey asked. “You, Lara Jean Covey, late sleeper and shunner of physical exertion?” Hailey had been her first-year roommate and knew her exercise antipathy well.

“Why not? It’s good exercise and it’s a nice day” she gestured to the window, but they all kept looking at her with various smirks on their faces. “I know how to run!” she added although she didn’t even convince herself let alone them.

She is lagging way behind Hailey even though Hailey is running slowly for her and even pausing from time to time. “Hey,” she says to Lara Jean as they round a corner, “let’s take a break, yeah?” Lara Jean gratefully slumps onto a bench and decides she does not want to ever get up off it. “Are you having fun?” Hailey asks.

“No. Why do people do this? It hurts! Everything hurts!”

Hailey laughs, “we’ve barely gone a mile! I knew you weren’t suddenly interested in being a jogger – what gives? Why are you out here?”

Slurping loudly from her water bottle Lara Jean shrugs, “I ate terrible on the drive here and if I don’t start doing something about it, I am not going to fit into any of my cute fall clothes.”

“Isn’t your driving companion an athlete?” Lara Jean pretends she’s really interested in her shoelace, “lacrosse, right? I bet he runs, teams do a lot of conditioning.” She can hear the tease in Hailey’s voice already.

“Wow, we should keep going, OK? Let’s go!” she attempts to stand but sits back down, “OW” she moans as Hailey reaches down to her calf and starts to rub it for her.

“Are you doing this for him?”

Lara Jean sighs and leans back on the bench. “I don’t know. Maybe. Is that dumb?”

Hailey glances up at her, “if you are doing it to impress him – that’s dumb. If you’re doing it because you want it to be something you could do together, that’s sweet. So which is it?”

“What would you call a combination of the two?”

Hailey starts to laugh, and Lara Jean joins her. “You’re really into him, huh?”

Lara Jean nods, “we didn’t really talk about what would happen when we got back here and now it’s been driving me crazy that we left it open-ended. I think he wants something serious with me, but if he does, it contradicts what he told me at the start – that he doesn’t do commitment.”

Hailey stands up and tightens her ponytail. “You should go to him and say what you want. Ask if he wants the same thing and stop making yourself nuts and wasting time doing this,” she gestures to the path they were running on, “if he likes you as much as you like him, whether you run or not is going to be completely inconsequential.”

Lara Jean looks up at Hailey and shields her eyes from the sun, “have I told you since I got back how damn much I love you?”

Hailey blows her a kiss, “yes, but it never hurts to hear it again. I love you too and I want you to be happy – and to have someone in your life who loves you as much as we all do, who knows you are one kick ass woman deserving of respect and appreciation and who _is not_ Charlie Cotter.”

**

Peter: _Any chance you’re free tonight? We’re having a party and your presence is very much requested by me_

LJ: _Hi!! A party already – you guys don’t waste any time_

Peter: _TBH I would be happier if it was another night but I was out-voted by Beavis and Butthead. Can you make it? I’ll pick you up_

LJ: _What time? I have something I need to do tonight_

Peter: _We’re starting around 7 but anytime is good. Do you need any help with the thing you need to do?_

LJ: _No, I need to be a big girl and do it myself. I probably won’t get there until a little later. Is that OK?_

Peter: _Yes! Bring your friends I want to meet the squad_

LJ: _OK! Do I need to wear my ring to ward off any potential suitors who come on too strong, or would that just start a lot of wild rumors?_

Peter: _HA! Definitely – let’s start some rumors_

LJ: _OK, I’ll see you later then!_

Peter: _Can’t wait, Covey_

**

She agreed to have dinner with Charlie, and she has a speech ready to go. Her friends helped her rehearse it and then begged to be allowed to go to the restaurant and watch from a booth so they could break into the chorus of _We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together_ when she told him they were over for good.

He wanted to pick her up but she insisted on meeting him there so she could leave when she wanted to. She needs it to go as quickly as possible so she can get to the party and finally see Peter again. Even if there’s a crowd of people around she just wants to be with him.

Charlie has already arrived and he’s going full-force – holding out her chair, showering her with compliments, asking her how her week has been. She knows this routine by now. His Adoring Boyfriend act which only lasts for so long before he’s wreaking havoc in her life.

“Listen, Lara Jean – I know we had a rough summer” he starts, and she can’t help but scoff.

“We had no summer Charlie. You ghosted me. You needed your space, remember?”

He gives her a tight smile, “well, OK, so we remember it differently…”

She narrows her eyes, “don’t gaslight me. I’m not mis-remembering anything. You wanted time apart and barely responded anytime I reached out. And then when you found out who I was with, you tried scaring me into coming back here to get me away from him.”

“I don’t think it’s a crime to want your girlfriend to be aware that she’s traveling with a guy who has a sketchy reputation.”

Lara Jean’s fingers tighten around her napkin, “I’m _not_ your girlfriend. And Peter doesn’t have a sketchy reputation.”

Charlie leans forward across the table, “He doesn’t? I think there’s a line of girls on campus who might tell you different.”

“Whatever you say, _Chex_.” He gives her a smirk, “Peter seemed to know you as Chex not Charlie and as a guy who was very much single. Which is kind of weird because you had a girlfriend.”

“For someone so upstanding he sure doesn’t mind plastering his socials with pictures that make it look like you two were doing a hell of a lot more than just driving.”

She takes a deep breath and reminds herself to keep her cool. Charlie loves provoking her and creating drama and she’s not giving him this last thing on her way out of his life. “Whatever Peter and I were doing or not doing is none of your business, we were broken up. We’ve been broken up since May. We’re broken up _right now_.”

The waiter brings their drinks and Charlie takes a long sip of his beer before responding to her, “OK, I get it. You were pissed at me and decided you’d have a little fun, get back at me by fucking around with Kavinsky for a few weeks. It’s fine, you know what? I’m cool with it. See? I can forgive you and we can start over, just forget all the stuff from before and re-connect. I want that Lara Jean, you know I love you and I know how much you love me.”

Every part of her speech has flown out of her mind at his words. She puts her hands on the table to steady herself and looks him dead in the eyes, “you’re a cheater and a coward and worst of all you’re a liar.” He looks startled at the venom in her tone, “anything that happened with Peter had _zero_ to do with you, you had no influence in any decision I made to be with him because you don’t matter to me Charlie, not anymore and you never will again.”

He gives her a smile that used to charm her even when they were at their lowest points, but it does nothing to her now, it doesn’t even register. “I’m done” she pushes away from the table, “I had planned to be kind in letting you down tonight but after what you’ve just pulled, I have half a mind to toss that water in your face” they both glance at the pitcher of ice water on the table and there’s a split second where fear crosses his face and she feels a thrill of victory. “I’m blocking your number. Don’t come to my dorm and don’t talk to me ever again. Are we clear?”

Charlie nods and says, “crystal.” She turns on her heel and walks outside, her hands shaking so much she has trouble calling for a car.

**

He keeps himself in view of the door so he can see when Lara Jean arrives. It’s almost 10PM and he’s slowly nursing a beer because he wants to be able to talk to her and not be shitfaced when he does it.

He ends up missing her arrival as he’s dragged into the kitchen to find more booze to spike the punch with and then he’s cajoled into having some and his heavy-handed pour made it a little on the strong side and he realizes he’s kind of buzzed. Now he still wants to see her and talk to her, but he also really wants to make out with her – and way more than that. He spent a good part of the day putting his room in order – doing his laundry and putting all his stuff away. He put clean sheets on his bed and even got some candles that he’s left around his room ready to be lit. It may be too raucous here tonight, but hopefully by tomorrow night she’ll be in his bed and he’ll be sleeping well again with her in his arms.

When he heads back out to the living room he runs right into Eloise Mitchell and realizes he never got back in touch with her after texting her that their timing wasn’t going to work out.

“Well, look who it is” she drawls, “the weary traveler” she leans in and gives him a hug.

“Hey, Eloise. Hi – how was your summer?”

She tosses honey blonde waves over her shoulder, “it was pretty great. Spent most of it surfing and partying. It’s a hard life” she grins and he laughs.

“Yeah, sounds like it. Look, I’m sorry I dropped the ball with you after that last text. Some stuff changed for me when I was traveling, and I didn’t want to leave you hanging – or have you think it was you at all because it’s not – it’s all totally me.”

She nods and gives him a pretty smile, “I saw you had a cute little traveling companion.”

“She’s someone I’ve known since high school. It was platonic at first and became something more and I’m really into her. I’m sorry if I led you on.”

Eloise shrugs, “We never made any promises to each other Peter. It’s all just been a lot of flirty fun and maybe we’ll get our timing right before we graduate and can finally let this slow burn between us,” she snaps her fingers, “ignite.” She kisses his cheek as she brushes past him, making sure her breasts make plenty of contact before she heads down the hall.

**

She finally makes it to the party after having to corral her friends who wanted multiple re-enactments of her smackdown with Charlie. They had also been pre-gaming so getting their buzzed and giggly asses to Peter’s apartment had been a trial. His place is packed and the music is loud when they arrive. She looks around but doesn’t see Peter. She recognizes Tommy from Peter’s photos and a few other people she knows on campus.

Neeta and Hailey peel off and Brooke takes her hand and they go to the punch bowl. “Where’s your boy?” Brooke asks as she pours them each a cup. Lara Jean shakes her head.

“I don’t know. I don’t see him. It’s the right apartment though because I recognize one of his roommates.” She takes a sip, “Oh damn! This is strong!” she looks at Brooke who nods in agreement.

“Get some liquid courage in you and let’s find this sex god.”

“Brooke!” she squeals, “don’t start!” Brooke shrugs and grabs her hand again as they weave through the party.

She spots him outside the kitchen talking to a girl she doesn’t recognize. She stops and squeezes Brooke’s hand and she looks back at her. “What?” Lara Jean tilts her head at him, “is that him?” she nods, “who is he talking too?”

“I don’t know.” Lara Jean says evenly. She is hearing things in her head she doesn’t want to be hearing – Peter telling her he doesn’t commit, Charlie insinuating that he’s a player – her own voice warning her the night they first started fooling around that she’d have to be fine with casual.

But then he looks around and sees her and his face breaks out in a huge smile and she feels a warm rush as he makes his way over to her. Brooke drops her hand and backs away as Peter arrives and pauses for a breathless, “Hi, Covey” before he pulls her into a big, warm hug. Her arms go around him and she suddenly can’t understand how she just went nearly three days without this.

“I know you said you’d be later, but it’s _late_!” he teases as he pulls away.

“I know, I’m sorry. It was important that I take care of something before I came over.” She is dying to tell him about Charlie, but they are in a crowd of people and Brooke is standing there beaming at them. “Peter, this is my friend Brooke, she’s one of my suitemates.”

He turns to Brooke and puts out a hand, “One of the ladies of the 308! Are you Miss B, C or D?”

Brooke laughs, “oh damn, aren’t you charming! I’m Miss B and I’m a light sleeper so when you start staying over, please remember the walls are thin but my forgiveness can be bought with really good coffee.”

Peter bursts out laughing, and Lara Jean covers her face, “Ohmigod Brookie, really??”

“I like her” Peter is still laughing, “it’s like a college version of Kitty.”

“I’m going to find Misses C and D and let you two catch up.” She winks at them, “have fun!” and she slips into the crowd.

Peter’s hand finds hers, “Come to my room” and he starts moving them through people towards the hall, but they don’t get very far before Tommy and Tony are on them.

“You made it!!” Tony hollers.

“Is this her??” Tommy slurs, “Are you Lauren Jean?”

“Lara Jean” Peter corrects and smacks him in the chest, “guys back off, geez.”

“You’re so tiny!” Tommy exclaims, “but super cute, she’s super cute Kavinsky, nice one man.”

“Sorry, he’s drunk” he says to Lara Jean, and turning to his roommates he says, “you only get one chance to make a first impression and you two are fucking yours up royally.”

Lara Jean laughs, “it’s fine – it’s like we’re back in some of the bars we stopped in on the road.”

Tony points at her and then scolds Peter, “see? She doesn’t think we’re so bad” he turns to her, “we’re not so bad. We’re the fun roommates” he shifts his finger to Peter, “he’s the dad.”

“HE IS TOTALLY THE DAD!!” Tommy bellows and even Peter is laughing now.

“You two are such idiots. If I’m the dad can I send you to your rooms?”

Tommy grabs Lara Jean’s arm, “come have a drink with us, just one – promise – if you’re gonna be our new mom we wanna get to know you.” He’s moving her towards the bar and Peter is groaning as he follows behind them. “Calm down dad!” he calls over his shoulder, “you’re gonna be such a cool mom” he drunk whispers in Lara Jean’s ear, “I already like you better than him and you smell good.”

**

She has to pee so she asks Peter where the bathroom is and he offers to walk her there. “I’m fine, I won’t be gone long unless there’s a line.” They are still with Tony and Tommy and a few others have gathered, “I’ll come find you after.”

Peter nods and whispers in her ear, “then let’s get the hell out of here.”

She knows she is straight up beaming when she says, “deal!”

The bathroom line isn’t bad and no one was after her so she takes some time primping in the mirror. She’s not sure what is going to happen next – if they’re going to talk or kiss, declare their feelings or jump into bed. Whatever it is, she wants to look nice for it.

When she opens the door there’s a woman standing right there that she nearly walks into, “Oh, I’m sorry” she says, and starts to move past her.

“No problem!” she chirps as Lara Jean heads back towards Peter, “are you having fun? It’s such a great party. Which of the guys do you know?”

Lara Jean turns around and she makes eye contact with her and it takes a second but then it clicks: Eloise Mitchell, in the tall, sexy, voluptuous flesh. Her breath catches and she looks around, but they are alone. “I know Peter” she says, “we grew up together.”

Eloise nods and leans against the wall, “me too! Well, we didn’t grow up together – but he invited me.” Lara Jean stiffens – all the memories of Eloise’s texts and coy photos she saw on his phone crowd her head and she does not like the anxiety that is percolating under her skin. “Oh, _wait_ ” Eloise says, “you’re the one he drove back here with, aren’t you?”

“I am.”

“I wanted to meet you – how lucky we ran into each other like this!” Her tone is sweet but Lara Jean suspects it hides something sharp.

“You did?” she asks, “do I know you?”

“I’m Eloise.” Lara Jean lets it hang in the air, “I don’t know what you did to him out there, but I sure have to thank you for it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh come on! Girl to girl…he’s _great_ in bed, isn’t he?” Lara Jean feels the hairs rise on the back of her neck and her throat goes dry. “I mean, either you cock teased him to near death and he really needed to get laid, or he was sharpening his skills on you because wow, I got railed within an inch of my life last night.”

“You slept with Peter last night?” she manages to say and Eloise wrinkles her perfectly manicured brow.

“Were you exclusive or something? Ohmigod he didn’t say anything. Such a typical guy, right?” She peers at her phone, “my friend is looking for me. It was _so_ nice to meet you! You’re as adorable as he said you were.” She flounces away and in her wake Lara Jean leans against the wall.

She has to be lying. He couldn’t have – wouldn’t have done that to her. Or did she set herself up for this exact thing? He told her up front what he was about and she gave in to her desires anyway and now she’s here, trying to catch her breath and not start screaming her head off.

She makes her way back to the living room and scans for her friends. She spots Hailey and calls for her and Hailey looks up at the same time that Peter sees her and calls her name. He reaches her before Hailey does and his face falls into concern when he sees her expression, “are you OK? What’s the matter?”

She shakes her head and won’t look at him, “I have to go, Peter.”

“What? Why? Are you sick?” Hailey arrives and starts asking the same questions.

“I just heard something and I can’t process it here. I need to leave.” She mutters and Peter cups her shoulder to guide her and she shrugs it off, “don’t!”

“Covey…what the fuck?”

“C’mon Lara Jean, we’ll go home.” Hailey takes her arm but Peter puts his hand out.

“Whoa, no, wait a minute. Five minutes ago you were happy and excited and affectionate and then you left for the bathroom and heard something and now you can’t wait to get away from me? Won’t look at me? What happened Lara Jean, _please_ _tell me?_ ”

She looks at Hailey and says, “can you give us a minute? It’s OK.” Hailey nods and moves away and Lara Jean turns back to the hall with Peter following.

When they are out of party earshot she stops and looks at him. “Did you have sex with Eloise Mitchell yesterday?”

Peter’s face is blank and finally he says, “who told you that?”

“She did. Outside the bathroom just now. So you’re admitting it.” When he doesn’t respond she spits, “that pause right there tells me all I need to know” and she starts to angrily push past him, but he moves in front of her.

“That pause is me trying to figure out why the hell you’d believe Eloise who you don’t even know, over me who you know better than anyone.”

“I don’t know you better than anyone” she cries, “you said at the very beginning you couldn’t be a boyfriend, and I ignored it and dove right in anyway!”

“Lara Jean” he starts, his hands running anxiously through his hair, “she’s lying. Before tonight the last interaction I had with her was a text the night you had your migraine – I told her the timing wasn’t going to work out with her. Because I liked you, I was already falling for you.”

“She said you invited her to the party.”

“I didn’t. I swear. I didn’t even know she was here until like an hour ago. She knows Tommy.”

She shakes her head, “I can’t do this right now Peter. I cut Charlie out of my life tonight and that’s what I came here to tell you, but I can’t breathe in here…I have to go.” She’s barely holding back tears and she just wants her friends to come whisk her away.

“You did?” he asks softly, “because you want to be with me?” the hope in his voice is right there on the surface.

“I don’t know what I want. I’m so confused right now.” She gives in and starts to cry. She’s feeling betrayed and sad but also guilty because Peter seems genuinely bewildered by everything she’s just said, and it hits her hard that she’s hurt him by listening to Eloise and her own insecurities.

“You’re breaking my heart here, Covey” his voice cracks and she swallows a sob.

**

Peter lets her go. He’s stunned by what just happened – that Eloise would pull such a fucked-up stunt and that Lara Jean would believe it even for a minute after everything they’ve just been through together. His heart is racing and he snaps to attention and knows that he can’t let her leave the apartment. Not until he has made sure she’s heard him loud and clear.

He races back into the living room and pushes his way through people until he reaches Tony who is fiddling with the playlist. He grabs his face in his hands, “dude, I need you to focus and listen to me – can you do that?” Tony nods and Peter gives him his instructions then he makes his way to the table and shoves cups over to jump up on top of it.

“Can I have your attention please?” he hollers as Tony fades the music out. “Hey – don’t let the pretty Korean-American woman leave yet, please…” across the room Lara Jean and her friends stop their march towards the door and stare at him. “Thank you – sorry to interrupt the fun but my heart is on the line here everybody, so you gotta help me off the ledge right now – can you do that?” People start whooping and yelling “yeah!”

“What is he doing?” Neeta whispers to Lara Jean but she just shakes her head in stunned silence.

“See, that’s Lara Jean Covey over there and she just drove cross-country with me from where we grew up together in Oregon. She was my first kiss,” there’s a chorus of _awwwwws_ in the room. “And when we were kids, she wrote me a love letter because I was her first crush” people start filming on their phones and Peter forges on, “and she is way, way out of my league – she’s gorgeous and incredibly kind. And funny – she’s smart and patient and silly and warm. She hates waking up early and loves a big breakfast when she finally does get up, she worships pop music and romcoms and loses her stuff constantly because she’s messy. She is a pool shark and fucking _kills_ at karaoke – she is a rock star in undergrad clothing I swear to you. She’s been hurt really badly by someone who did not deserve her and that makes it hard for her to trust but despite that, she still has a huge loving heart and she opened it up to me and I was the idiot who didn’t tell her immediately how I felt about her.”

Peter makes sure to lock eyes with Lara Jean before he continues.

“…so now I’m the idiot on top of a table in front of a bunch of drunks making sure that she knows exactly how I feel about her because she is the most beautiful, the most incredible woman I’ve ever known and I don’t want to live another minute of my life without her at the center of it.” He turns to Tony and nods and _Sucker_ starts playing and Peter puts out his hands and gestures for her to come to him. The crowd now fully invested in this romantic reunion help move her towards him as if a wave bringing her to shore. When she reaches the table he leans down and takes both her hands and pulls her up to him. “Hi, Lila” he whispers.

“Hi, Pete,” she laughs, “have you lost your mind?”

He wraps an arm around her waist and the crowd is getting louder, “no, I know exactly what I’m doing. I’m making a big romantic gesture because I know you like being swept off your feet.”

She drapes her arms around his shoulders and smiles, “See? I _knew_ you were boyfriend material.”

He rubs his nose over hers and someone yells for them to kiss, “this is just a teaser, if you let me be your boyfriend, I’ll pull out _all_ the stops – this will look like amateur hour.”

She wets her lips, “you should kiss me” she echoes her words from the night they got high in the Utah desert. He grins wide and cups her face with one hand while pulling her tight into him with the other and he presses his lips to hers and it’s sweet and sexy and full of so much promise.

Around them are cheers and cellphone snaps and some raised Solo cups and then the crowd starts moving back into party mode and Lara Jean and Peter are still embracing on the table gazing at each other.

“Nice song selection,” she gives him a big smile. 

He grins, “you like that?”

She nods, “you know I do. I made you listen to it enough!”

“It fits us – it’s kinda our song, don’t you think?” and he sings along with the chorus and she kisses him again.

“It’s one of them for sure” she giggles.

“I’m in love with you.” He knows they are on full display in a room of onlookers, but it doesn’t matter – the only thing that matters is that she knows how he feels. “Deeply, irretrievably, insanely in love with you Lara Jean.”

Her eyes light up and she wrinkles her nose and just like that he falls even deeper. “Since when?”

He laughs, “you want states or exact moments?”

“I want to see if it matches when I fell in love with you, because I love you Peter Kavinsky, more than anything – more than _anyone_ ” she murmurs and when he hears that his smile is so wide his face almost hurts.

“How about we get out of here go for a ride?” He says and she nods quickly.

Peter reluctantly releases her and jumps off the table, holding his hands out to help her down. “Peter” she says as she puts her hands in his, “this time you be Thelma, I get to be Louise.”

He pulls her into a kiss deep enough to start up more wolf whistles around them. “Only my girlfriend makes that call” he mumbles against her lips when the kiss breaks.

“That would be me” she gives his lower lip a short suck and he groans. “ _I’m_ your girlfriend.”

“Say that again” he takes her face in his hands, “put it on a t-shirt, write it on the walls shout it across campus. Let everyone know who I belong to.” 

“Commitment looks good on you, Kavinsky, real good. Very sexy.”

He puts his arm over her shoulder and guides them towards the door, “Well I’ve had a lot of practice being married to you. I’m pretty sure that marriages declared in bars in Idaho are officially recognized in Rhode Island.”

She gives him a sultry smile as they finally reach the door, “I think it’s only legit if you put a $20 ring on it in a parking lot in Illinois.”

Peter grins at her before swinging her up into his arms and carrying her out of his apartment to the sound of her adorable giggles. He kisses her as the door closes behind them and the sound of the party becomes muted, “ready for our next adventure together?”

* * *

_I've been dancing on top of cars and stumbling out of bars  
I follow you through the dark, can't get enough  
You're the medicine and the pain, the tattoo inside my brain  
And, baby, you know it's obvious_

_I'm a sucker for you  
You say the word and I'll go anywhere blindly  
I'm a sucker for you, yeah  
Any road you take, you know that you'll find me  
I'm a sucker for all the subliminal things  
No one knows about you   
And you're making the typical me break my typical rules  
It's true, I'm a sucker for you_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched AAF again just so I could catch some of the crazy coincidences from the movie that had made it into this story when I wrote it two years ago. Here's the amusing list I put together: 
> 
> **Movie / Story**  
>  Kitty's BF Dae / Lara Jean's cousin Dae  
> Lucas goes to Sarah Lawrence / Chris goes to Sarah Lawrence  
> Trina calls Peter LJ's "hot boyfriend" / Trina is President of the PK Fanclub at LJ's house  
> LJ makes Peter watch "Say Anything" / Peter plays "Say Anything" on their first date  
> Mr. Kavinsky calls LJ "Laura", annoying Peter / Tommy calls LJ "Lauren", annoying Peter  
> Gen's last name is Mitchell / Eloise's last name is Mitchell (if this is a book thing it may have been in my subconscious or something because I GASPED when I heard it in AAF!)  
> LJ does karaoke with her sisters / LJ does karaoke for Peter

**Author's Note:**

> Let's go crazy and do a chapter a day, what do you say? 😉
> 
> Title: Sucker / Jonas Brothers (2019)
> 
> Like all writers I crave feedback! Please share in the comments if you have any and thank you for reading!
> 
> Find me on Tumblr! [ Hit up my inbox!](https://queenie-004.tumblr.com/)


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